Christmas in paranoia

First thing I noticed when I opened my eyes was how cold the room was. A simple breath of mine produced a little current of white air. My legs were destroyed, my mouth asked for water incessantly, and during the full minute I stayed in bed, I knew that this was the smallest of the problems.

When my feet touched the carpet I had a headache worthy of a professional drunkard, a typical unusual thing that doesn’t happen to me so often, but it happens. The way downstairs was a wild crossing, but it revealed to me that my mother always had a little sense of rightness in telling me not to go by such a big house. I honestly feel bad for her now.

My kitchen was filled with dirty dishes, lots of pots of hot chocolate and plates with melted cheese stuck on the bottom, more than anyone could eat on a celebratory night, but I don't remember having any problems after two hours of only eating. Instead, my problem was a mystery: what were those two glasses doing on my table? I accumulated the dishes along the days, but on the same night serving two beautiful glasses for myself is something I wouldn’t do, even though I deserve it.

Think Paul, think. With eyes wide closed I could visualize a man with a pretty smile, large shoulders that gave him an aspect of ‘gym man’ and a bag that looked like it was full of presents next to his fancy coat. But who was that man? Why would someone get into my house yesterday? I have been so distant from anyone that the world might have forgotten who I am… Yeah, that’s it. Jules didn’t forget, instead he wanted to visit me and see how I was. Angry, by the way, all because my favorite restaurant could not fit me into their reserves and the company I work for rejected my request, Tom was the real employee of the month… Jules noticed my forced hospitality, I’m sure.

I walked across the corridor that led me to the living room, where I would have time to think while savoring a bowl of cereal. It was strange to reflect on how even my arms were sore, red spots decorated it like my Christmas tree. Everything was unsettled, but I was not expecting to see that in front of me. My vision was tracked by something at the top of the tree. I stared at it for a long time, that object shaped like a snake was not in its proper place.

It was a scarf, and just as my fingers touched its surface, I noticed the moisture and blood stains. Oh my gosh, did anything happen to Jules? If the answer was yes, then what exactly happened was my concern. I walked quickly over rooms and my office on the first floor, and after that my cabinets and bathrooms were searched, the basement too, but none of them made any sense.

So, a thought popped up in my mind; Jules was with a bottle of wine too, he brought his own with him and invited me to drink. We laughed, he softened my heart so much that I called him ‘friend’. Yes, I remember that vividly, and only a few minutes later he was trying to advance in me, not in a bad way, but it was bad. I felt his warmth and the alcoholic breath over me, and then he was holding me like a teddy bear. I felt uncomfortable, dominated, and it made me angry. He tried to hug me and apologize, and that's when…

A deep fury took my hands to strangle him, we fought, but I’m much stronger, my muscles are big and defined, he had no chance. When he was unconscious I made the final blow be effective, just a thrust into his final moment of life. That was an impulsive act, but what can I do? No one disrespects me, no one.

His corpse was below my bed. I don’t know why I put it there, but I am very responsible for my actions and their consequences. It was time for a funeral. Shovel and body in hand, and then the yard had become my workplace. The birds sang the same repetitive melodies that enchanted the ones of weak tastes, but those minuscule creatures were better than humans in that sense. Many of them perched on the various trees in the forest surrounding the residence, and there they watched me dig a small ditch near to where Karen, Jack, Peter, Bruno, Serge and Fernando were; I don’t make distinctions, there’s space for whoever I want. I was sweating and needed to get water, that's when I turned around and we both had a surprise.

She was young, short, and scared. All her body froze, then shook, but I was pretty sure it would be hot again when she started running. It was Jules’ girlfriend, she had seen me once, and came for the man. I took two steps, she took two too. I opened my hands in a sign of calm, she drew back her trunk in terror. Cool this woman's head Paul, and her whole body along with it.

I ran as fast as I could, and that was when I found out Jules was picking up a runner. She disappeared in the woods with her smooth foot, but among that dark landscape I was able to follow her, thanks to hysterical screams. Every now and then I was seeing a silhouette disappearing from my sight, and besides that, the path was protruding from branches and roots.

Finally, it happened what I predicted; I fell. My knee scraped, but I managed to stagger to a small clearing that ended in another path. How stupid this girl is. I saw a pair of shoes hidden under a thick bush. My approach was slow, like a predator hungry, my mouth salivated to catch my prey, I would enjoy it very much. But my brain got shocked when I heard the sound of a car speeding far in the street. I turned to face my target again, and laughed at myself: only shoes.

I ran back to my home, drank a champagne I had bought and got in my car. Goodbye old life and all the devaluation given to me, now I will live free, running away from everyone who remembers my beautiful face, but free.