'Mon Nom Est Crapaud'

Mon Nom Est Crapaud

Once upon a time in a land a long way from here everything was very different. There weren’t any houses or buildings just lot’s of trees. There were also lots of animals and birds but no people. So the tracks through the forest were only as big as the animals who were using them. To begin with, no one knew each other so every day you could meet an animal that you’d never seen before. The trouble was, you could never really be sure who was going to be friendly and who wasn’t! Sometimes the biggest and the most frightening animals were actually nice and yet the smallest might not be. Also you must remember that there weren’t any mirrors to use, so nobody had any idea what they looked like. This could get quite confusing because if you met an animal who you thought looked nice it was quite tempting to think that you might be the same as them. So nobody was really sure who they were and pretty soon everyone was getting in a terrible mess.

One day a Dog was walking along and met an Elephant. ‘Hello what’s your name?’ asked Dog. ‘I’m Mouse’ said the Elephant ‘What’s yours?’ ‘It’s Cat!’ said the Dog. ‘Oh that’s nice, I haven’t ever met a Cat before. The last thing I met was Rabbit. Have you met the Rabbit yet?’ asked the Elephant. ‘No I don’t think I have.’ Said Dog ‘What’s it like’? ‘Horrible’ said Elephant ‘It’s long and thin, doesn’t have any legs and yet can still slide along the ground quite quickly, when it wants to, and if it doesn’t like you it can bite!’ ‘Oh’ said Dog I wouldn’t like that. Cats hardly ever bite.’ ‘Not only that’ continued Elephant ‘the bite is poisonous!’ Dog didn’t know what poisonous meant but it didn’t sound very nice. ‘What does a Mouse do?’ he asked (trying to change the subject) ‘Oh we run around very quietly and no one can hear us.’ Said Elephant. ‘I will show you how quiet I can be now because It’s time I got on with my exploring. You just see how quietly I disappear. Goodbye.’ Elephant went off, crashing loudly through the undergrowth. ‘Mmm, thought Dog maybe Cats like me have sensitive hearing because that didn’t sound very quiet to me at all.’

Further along the track Dog met another animal ‘Hello’ said Dog ‘What’s your name?’ ‘Allo! Mon Nom Est Crapaud.’ ‘What?’ said Dog ‘Mon Nom Est Crapaud.’ ‘I'm sorry I don’t know what that means! Anyway I’m called Cat!’ ‘No, No – No. You are not Le Chat!’ ‘What?’ said Dog ‘You are not a Cat. You are nothing like a Cat. The Cats live in the water and swim all the time.’ ‘Oh No, said Dog, That isn’t right. I am definitely a Cat. I even have extra sensitive hearing.’

‘What’s going on?’ said a strange voice. They looked round and there was a little Robin. ‘He thinks he is a Cat and I know that Cats are very small and live in the water'. ‘No they don’t’ said Dog. ‘When I met a Cat it was on the land and hopped in and out of holes in the ground’. ‘Anyway, we still don’t know who you are.’ ‘I ave told you Mon Nom Est Crapaud!’ ‘But what does that mean?’ asked Dog. ‘It is the Toad! We come from France.’ Dog didn’t know what France was but thought it was probably best not to ask any more questions for now.

Now there was a tremendous noise as Elephant came crashing back onto the track, breaking down the trees all around. ‘Oh hello’ said Elephant ‘I’m Mouse’ One by one everyone introduced themselves. But it soon got very confusing because Crapaud insisted that Cats spend their time swimming in water and Dog was convinced that the Cat that he had seen wouldn’t have gone anywhere near the water. Another problem was that everyone agreed that a Cat should be bigger than a Mouse. But Dog (who thought he was a Cat) was much smaller than Elephant (who thought he was a Mouse).

Finally the Robin had heard enough. ‘Hold it. Hold it, there’s only one way to settle this. If we all go down to the bottom of the hill there is a lake where you can look at the water and see your own reflection.’ ‘What’s a reflection?’ asked Dog. ‘You can all see what you really look like!’ said the Robin. So down the hill they trundled with Elephant in the front making the track bigger with each step. When they got to the lake they all looked in the water. ‘Why I’m nothing like a Cat’ said Dog. ‘I’m too big to be a Mouse’ said Elephant. Crapaud was very quiet as Robin flew over to him and said ‘I think you are too big to be a Toad. You look more like a Weasel to me.’ ‘I know. I just liked the idea of being French’ said Crapaud sadly. ‘But I must admit I was sometimes struggling with the language a bit.’

Suddenly they heard a loud roaring sound which was very frightening. ‘What was that?’ asked Crapaud. ‘Oh I’ve heard that sound before’ said Elephant ‘That’s a Dog!’ ‘No. said the Robin Look at Cat. He is really a Dog.’ ‘Well’ said Elephant ‘when I met someone roaring like that he said he was a Dog!’ ‘No I think that’s a thing called a Lion’ said the Robin ‘and I think you are an Elephant.’

‘What’s an Elephant?’ asked the Elephant. ‘Go and look in the water again and see’ said the Robin.

So now everything was settling down. ‘Well that’s all good!’ said Dog. ‘Now everyone knows who they really are.’ ‘I’m glad I could help’ said Robin. ‘Now I think I’ll go off to explore on the other side of the lake.’ ‘Don’t go yet’. said Dog ‘We don’t know anything about you! What are you called?’

‘Me?’ said the Robin, as he flew away.‘ Oh my name is FRED!’