We Were All Wrong

“I wish I knew what the hell I did to make you hate me so much. All these years later and I still can’t figure it out.”

“You left.”

“Oh no, don’t even go there. Tell the truth, Justin.”

“Do you even hear yourself right now?”

“Yes. I hear myself loud and clear. Do you hear me?”

“You’re insane. I never tried to take your child from you. You did that to yourself. You signed the papers willingly. You never even went to court to fight it. That’s on—”

“On who? Me? I went to court for five years. Five years I couldn’t even take a shit without worrying it would be used against me. Do you know what that does to a person? You were considering framing me for attempted murder if I kept fighting.”

“Nobody was going to frame you for anything. You’re delusional.”

“Oh, bullshit. It was in the messages you sent me. You knew exactly how I would respond once I read that conversation. You knew I would never let it get that far. And you knew the threat of prison was the only way to scare me into giving you what you wanted. So no, it was not a willing decision. I was forced to choose between losing one child and losing them all.”

“I think you are confused. I wasn’t the one who came up with that idea, and I was to have no part in the execution of it.”

“Oh yeah, you just condoned it and would have gladly taken the opportunity to use it against me in court. I know that because it was in the court documents sent to me.”

“Jason needed stability, and you were never going to give it to him. I did what had to be done for him, not for you. You were popping kids out left and right. Your husband was bouncing around jobs. You couldn’t keep a home for longer than a year. I was protecting our child from your toxic environment.”

“We have the same number of kids. We have moved the same number of times, and you have had more than five jobs in less than seven years. You cheated on your wife multiple times, and who knows why that psycho is still with you. What stability were you providing that I couldn’t? What wonderful life are you giving him that would be so bad if I were in it?”

“Look at how you’re acting right now. That alone should answer your question. You—”

“Justin, is everything okay? Do you need me to tap in?”

“Oh for the love of God, Catrina, not you too. If we wanted to hear the voices of the peanut gallery we would’ve made the announcement. You can go back to the hole you crawled out of.”

“Hey now, watch the way you speak to my wife. Why don’t you show a little respect for the woman who raised your son?”

“I’m sorry, did you just say show a little respect? Respect? Please tell me why I would respect a woman who did everything in her power to erase me from my child’s life.”

“It’s okay, dear. Her jabs don’t disrupt my peace. Allison, if life were a game of chess and God made us opponents, I believe it is easy to see who won. You were always three steps behind. You didn’t have what it takes to win. Now you come into this hospital acting like a fool in front of all of our family and friends while we wait to hear how Jason is doing and expect what? An apology? You will be hard pressed to find any of that around here because we aren’t sorry.”

“Babe, I think you’ve made your point. Why don’t you go down to the cafeteria and get some food?”

“No, don’t send her away. I want Catrina to know that I believe she is right. She won her game of chess and she got to raise my son as her own. She got thirteen years living with the illusion that she had the perfect family, believing she was the saint that saved the sinner and his bastard son. Here’s where she lost though. A child’s life does not end when they are eighteen, and unfortunately for her the clock has run out. When Jason wakes up, I am going to walk into that room and reunite with my son and there is nothing you or that little—mm—Catrina can do about it.”

“Ha. I won’t need to do anything about it. He will make the choice for himself, and you won’t like it when he does. I will see myself out. Justin, call me if anything changes, dear.”

“You can’t go in there, Allison. Please. Let’s do this when the time is right.”

“No. No. You don’t get to choose anymore, Justin. You don’t get to tell me I am unfit anymore, and god damn it I never was. Please. Please just stop. Please.”

“It’s not about me choosing anything. Why don’t you see that? He’s in a hospital bed, Allison. How would you feel waking up and seeing a woman you haven’t seen in years telling you she’s your mother when someone else raised you? There’s a time and a place, and this isn’t it.”

“If not now, then when will it be the time and place?”

“Mr. Brown? I’m sorry to interrupt. Jason is out of surgery and stable. The doctor will be with you shortly for updates.”

“Thank you. Will we be able to go back to see him?”

“The doctor will answer any questions in just a few minutes.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

“Justin… you have to let me back there. I have to see my baby. Please. What if this is it?”

“I don’t know, Allison. I’m exhausted. I—”

“Don’t. Don’t tell me you don’t know. I can’t live with that.”

“I never meant for it to be this way, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”

“No, it’s not—”

“Well it’s the truth. After you left, Catrina was there to pick up the pieces and I had this image of how life should be. How it should go. I thought maybe it would change your mind on leaving, but then you moved on and things just got out of control.”

“I don’t want an explanation as to why you felt justified ripping my entire world out of my hands. I don’t want to know why you capitalized on my mistakes. All I care about is seeing my son. I have dreamed of holding him in my arms since he was five years old. I cannot live on this planet another day without making that dream come true.”

“Allie…”