Temperature Drop

8 °C

As usual he had to first pull the door, then turn the key. When he could hear the light metal clicking noise, he would be able to push the door open. He switched on the light in the corridor. Everything was quiet when Simon opened the door to the flat. His father had said that he would be home for lunch, but the lights in all other rooms were switched off and there was no smell of cooked food in the air. Looking at the shoe shelf his parents’ shoes were missing as were Lena’s and Paula’s shoes.

There might be issues with the train. Or maybe a colleague is sick again. Why does HE always have to save the day?!

The shoes in his hands he stood there for a moment. Hesitating. Feeling cold with wet shoes dripping dirty water on the floor. Out of protest he didn’t put his shoes in the shelf. They left a small dark puddle on the tile floor.

Let them stumble over it. When they get hurt maybe they’ll know how I’m feeling now.

Hanging his wet jacket on the coat rack, he took the empty lunchbox out of his schoolbag and then trudged into the kitchen. There was some leftover cake from the twins’ birthday. The kitchen was still a mess as his parents hadn’t had the time to clean up since last night. The dishwasher had been running this morning when he had left for school. Carefully, as if the machine could bite off his hand, he opened the dishwasher.

Ugh, still not empty.

He closed the dishwasher again, suppressing the urge to kick its door. His parents wouldn’t be pleased if he broke the machine and there would be just another lecture on how to treat other people’s property. The empty lunchbox was thrown into the sink and landed with the sound of glass banging against a metal frame. It sounded dangerously close to glass breaking.

Better not check if anything is broken.

Ignoring the possible damage, he made his way to the fridge. The light flickered and he remembered that his father said he would fix it at least a month ago. Simon’s mother had already complained several times, but his father had just answered that he would take care of it soon.

If it was my task I would have already been punished. With dishwasher duties or folding the laundry. But where’s the cake?

The twins had turned five and there had been a small celebration. One of their many wishes had been a big rainbow sprinkle cake with layers and cream. Of course, his mother hadn’t been able to say no. It had taken her two nights to work on that delicious masterpiece.

Can’t remember that I ever got such special treatment. Must be good to be so cute.

Finally, he saw the cake. It was hidden behind a few boxes of leftover food on the uppermost shelf. There were only two pieces left. His parents must have eaten a bit more after the children had gone to bed.

They can stay awake. They can eat sweets at night. I wish I was eighteen and could finally do what I want.

Taking the plate and closing the fridge door he quickly grabbed a fork. Ripping off the cling wrap, letting it fall on the kitchen floor without a second thought, he shoved the first big fork of cake into his mouth. The cream hugged his tongue, and the sugar immediately lifted his spirits. After the third forkful he let out a relieved sigh and decided it was time to sit down and enjoy the cake.

2 °C

There were footsteps and then high-pitched voices which made Simon jump up immediately, making his phone drop on the carpet. Panickily, he looked around. With erratic movements he stuffed the empty snack wrappers into the gap between the two sofa cushions. Then he grabbed the phone. It was warm, too warm and it didn’t stop vibrating. His friends continued to chat while he didn’t even have time to tell them that he had to leave now.

Stupid phone rules.

There was no time to think about the rules, as his mother and the twins would come through door any second and it was important that his phone wasn’t in his hands. It needed to be innocently plugged in the charger in his parents’ room.

Sliding over the tiles, almost stumbling over his shoes, he barely made it into his parents’ bedroom. Fumbling with the many charging cables he heard the voices at the landing, just in front of the door. His mother’s keys were clinking against each other on the keychain. One of the twins sounded annoyed while the other one was singing a song.

Finally, Simon found the right charging cable and attached his phone to it. Now the key was in the door and there was no time for him to return to the living room.

Bathroom it is.

The moment the apartment door opened with a clicking sound he closed the door to the bathroom, switching on the fan and the light. His heart was pounding as if he had just managed to hide a cheat sheet from Mister Harnass. Through his shaking breath and the noise the decrepit bathroom ventilation was producing he could hear Paula sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to the melody of ‘Jingle Bells’.

“Simon? Are you here?”

His mother’s voice was full of worry probably because he hadn’t switched on any lights and he hadn’t greeted them.

“He’s pooping again, mommy!”

It was Lena who had stopped complaining about Paula’s singing.

“I’m already done.”

He flushed the empty toilet and then opened the tap to wash his hands. At first, he wanted only to pretend to wash them but then he saw some dusty residue from the snacks he had been eating. Quickly, he decided to rinse his mouth as well because strangely enough his mother could smell immediately what he had eaten. Especially if it was snacks.

Through the sound of running water, he heard that now Paula had invented a poo song which was just the word ‘Poo’ to the melody of ‘Happy Birthday’. Lena’s complaining started anew and there were clothes and shoes being put away. Flinching at an especially loud bang, Simon remembered his shoes. He had wanted to annoy his father but instead his mother had put them away. There was a pinching pain in his stomach. His mother was exhausted from taking care of the twins and also starting at her new work just a few weeks ago.

Then she shouldn’t have quit. The old job wasn’t that bad anyway.

Even thinking this he knew that it wasn’t true. His mother had had many tearful breakdowns, which she had tried to hide from Simon and the twins. There had been adult discussions behind closed doors and after some trial and error his mother had finally found a different job.

Putting his hand on the doorknob Simon wasn’t sure if this was the best time to get out of the bathroom, when the decision was made for him.

“I need to pee! Go away!”

Lena swung open the door and without looking at him pulled down her tights, her underwear. Lifting the skirt just in time, she sat down on the toilet.

“Go away! Close the door! Mommy said – pry-vuh-see is important!”

Always being the more serious of the two, Simon didn’t bother to argue with his younger sister but instead did as she had asked. He stepped into the now slightly more chaotic corridor. His mother had put away the jackets and shoes but there were still dirty puddles on the floor as it must have started to snow.

Ugh! Snow in February! Who needs that?!

Tiptoeing around the dirty wet spots, he made his way into the living room and regretted having come out of the bathroom. Paula sat on the sofa, surrounded by the snack wrappers. His attempt to hide them had been futile. But the problem wasn’t the food wrappers but his mother who stood next to the dining table, the empty cake plate in hand. Most of her hair was still pulled up in a tight bun but there were quite a few stray hairs. Around her eyes were dark circles and Simon saw them shine dangerously wet. The pinch in his stomach grew stronger and then he remembered his mother’s words.

Damn. The cake.

“Simon. Why? I thought … just …”

He didn’t like the way her voice cracked. He didn’t like that the wet shimmer was close to spilling over. He didn’t like how heavy his stomach felt. As if he hadn’t eaten two slices of delicious fluffy cake but two bowls of lead. Quickly, he opened his mouth for a defense, but his mother was faster.

“Just … forget it. Please clean up everything.”

0 °C

“We had rules set. You agreed to them.”

They were sitting at the dining table. The twins were in bed, and his father had come home an hour ago. Far too late but the trains had been delayed due to the snow. Simon remembered the weather warning he had seen on his phone but hadn’t thought that it would really be that bad. Unlike his mother’s pale and tired face, his father’s expression was flushed.

“I forgot. Ok? I only remember after mom came back.”

It was the truth. As soon as he had seen his mother’s disappointed expression, he had remembered the request not to finish the cake.

I just forgot about Miss Wilkinson. She likes the twins no matter what. The cake would’ve been wasted on her.

“It’s not only about the cake. What about the phone?”

“I didn’t use my phone.”

It was a blatant lie, but he didn’t care. His father also hadn’t kept his promise. Had he been home as planned, Simon wouldn’t have eaten the cake, and he wouldn’t have been on the phone.

“We know you used the phone. Simon, just tell the truth so we can work something out.”

His mother’s voice was calm, but he didn’t dare to look in her direction. His father’s anger was uncomfortable, but his mother’s disappointment was unbearable.

“I – DID – NOT – USE – THE – PHONE!”

“Sara, can’t you see it’s no use? Just give him a phone ban. He can’t act responsibly then it’s time to take away the privileges.”

“But we need to be able to reach him. What if something happens and he needs help?!”

“I’ll make sure to activate the landline again.”

“We’ve tried that so many times. And when …”

His parents continued to discuss the matter without even acknowledging that Simon was there. It was the same old pattern. Clenching his fists the teenager stared at the tablecloth counting the crumbs and stains. His throat was burning and there was a familiar stinging in his eyes. The lump in his throat grew bigger and despite several attempts to swallow it, it didn’t disappear. Instead, his heartbeat was thundering in his ears, droning and drowning his parents’ heated discussion.

“You’re too lenient! Simon! No more phone for the next month.”

Addressing him so suddenly the built-up anger erupted. Tears spilled over and with a screeching voice he shouted at his parents.

“You are unfair! You don’t keep your promises! So why should I?”

“Not in this tone! We discussed the rules and you decided to break them!”

“And you promised to be home. Everything is done for the twins. What about me? Just tell me you don’t want me anymore. Just concentrate on Lena and Paula.”

His voice was shaking as was the rest of his body. Staring down at his parents after jumping up there was nothing but heat in his heart and his head. Heat that fueled the anger.

“Simon …”

“No. I don’t care. You’re not the only one who has a difficult time. I hate being everyone’s punching bag. Take my phone. Take everything. Just leave me alone.”

Not wanting to hear any more from his parents. Not wanting to see his father’s red and scrunched up face. Not wanting to recognize his mother’s wet cheeks. Not wanting to admit that he was hurting and just needed attention too. He stormed off to his room, slamming the door with a loud bang. So loudly that for a second he thought he had broken it. Tears were streaming down his face and he flung himself on his bed. Wrapping himself up in the blanket he waited for his mother to come. She always came.

“Mommy? Why are you so loud?”

The twins had woken up, and Simon heard footsteps outside the door. They weren’t his father’s but his mother’s. They stopped for a moment but then entered the twins’ room. There wouldn’t be any reassurance or cuddles for him tonight.

-3 °C

There was a noise coming from the kitchen, but Simon didn’t want to open his eyes. The bed was warm and cozy. There was a fading memory of the dream he had just had. Something about summer and going swimming. Laughter and light. Turning around in his bed he grabbed his favorite teddy and cuddled it sharing warmth and comfort. Despite not wanting to wake up, the noise from the kitchen as well as the faint smell of coffee made it difficult to fall asleep again.

It was his mother who was preparing to leave. Every morning, she woke up to prepare breakfast for the family before heading to work. Thinking of his mother brought Simon back to the argument the night before. He started to sweat under his blanket and grabbed the teddy bear tighter. Neither his father nor mother had come to talk to him. They hadn’t apologized. Neither had he.

Rubbing his face into the teddy’s short fur made his eyes feel itchy again. But he stopped moving immediately after hearing his mother’s footsteps close to his door.

Now she’s going to apologize, isn’t she?

Trying to adjust his breathing he pretended to be asleep when the door opened. A thin beam of light entered his room. Simon had to suppress the urge to lift his head or at least open his eyes to see his mother entering his room. She tried to walk softly, probably not wanting to wake him up. With her came a waft of air smelling of coffee and when she bent over him in his bed, he could smell her freshly washed hair as well as the light flowery scent which she liked wearing.

“I’m sorry, Simon. Let’s talk tonight, ok? We’ll figure it out. Just … I’m sorry. We’re going to have some time together. Just you and me. Or if you want you and papa. Don’t be angry anymore.”

She was whispering in his ear while stroking his head and back like she had always done when he was upset as a child. He liked the comfort and warmth her touch brought. The tension in his body eased a bit. So did his grip around the teddy bear, which his mother must have sensed as well. Just like a reward, her warm hand patted him gently, lovingly.

“I’ve to go now. I don’t ask you to help with Lena and Paula. Just get ready for school. I love you. Don’t forget it. Papa and I love you so much!”

She kissed him lightly on the head, mainly on the hair, but Simon felt warmth spread through his body. He craved the care and closeness. Now, he looked at his sisters with envy who could and would demand their cuddles no matter the situation.

With a last half-hug his mother left the room and soon enough Simon heard the front door close.

-6 °C

Staring out of the window there was just white and a shiver ran over Simon’s spine. The world outside was covered in snow. The cold found its way through the cracks in the window where the insulation had grown thin. Simon felt uneasy and couldn’t concentrate on the lesson. Mister Harnass was talking about avalanches and the reason why the skiing industry was partly responsible for the disasters.

There’s no such disaster here. We only get heavy snow like today. It’s not even enough to close school.

Suddenly the door opened. Disapprovingly, Mister Harnass looked at the secretary entering the classroom. Her usual complexion had lost all its rosiness and was almost as grey as the sky outside. Immediately the class’s attention was focused on the two adults. There were quick, hushed words exchanged. Then both adults looked in his direction. The synchronized motion made Simon’s insides clench. Something was wrong.

-10 °C

As usual he had to first pull the door, then turn the key. When he could hear the light metal clicking noise, he would be able to push the door open. Everything was quiet when Simon opened the door to the flat. He switched on the light. His father’s shoes were standing in the corridor. A puddle of water around them. Lena’s and Paula’s shoes weren’t there. Neither were his mother’s.