The Fire of Want

We've been looking for it for as long as I can remember. I don't even know what it is. Only that it's important. That it matters. Some even say it's life or death. I don't believe them though. I don't think anything that can tear apart our district this much can really, possibly be worth it.

What is it? I think we all ask that question. I wonder, sometimes, if anyone even knows. I wonder if those who search for it with such earnest, fight viciously against their own neighbors, even kill to make sure their Trek gets there first really know what they want so badly. I think that's the nature of it. They don't even care what they're looking for. They just feel a deep, horrible longing to have it.

And that brings me to wonder if there is an it. If there's anything to find under the ice.

My Trek is ahead right now. I don't know who decided that we are but that's what I've heard.

In the land of Xylertion, where I live, there are seven Treks. Every citizen belongs to one, except the Exiles but I suppose they're sort of their own Trek in a way.

There's about ten people in each Trek. That isn't how it used to be. Xylertion used to thrive. We had streams of crystal water flowing down dark, majestic mountains and through lush, green meadows and across vast, fabulous mesas. There was no shortage of water. No restraints on food. No number for the people dwelling in our thriving district. And then it happened. The lust took over our land and our people. Suddenly, word spread that there was something of extraordinary value hidden in the earth. Why did we all believe it? Why were we so certain it had to be so? Why, oh why did we decide to give our hearts and minds and bodies to the evil threatening to take over?

Our land began to deteriorate. The streams, once so plentiful, ran dry. Our mountains drooped as if they were crying at the way we so quickly turn on each other. The fields, once so green, turned yellow and dry. Our crops began to fail. Treks began to dig. Everything started to die. People began to kill. And the storm began to rage, plunging Xylertion into an inexplicable ice age. And now there are so few of us. So little left from this siege that has captured our minds.

I wonder if it will ever end. I wonder if we will ever return to ourselves. I wonder if we will ever discover the secrets hidden in the snow. I wonder if Xylertion will ever be restored.

My boots kick the snow as it flurries around me. I'm wrapped from head to toe with warm clothes to protect me from the cold. Tall, bare trees surround me. My stomach growls with hunger. I haven't had anything to eat today. I won't have anything to eat if I don't get moving and find something substantial for my Trek to consume. So food. Or a clue on where the hidden object is. But I won't find that. No one does. So then food. I need to find food. And take it home to my Trek.

Things used to be great in Trek C. I loved it there. I'd go hunting with my brothers or create with my mother or swim and climb with my father. It was my choice. I was free. I don't have choices anymore. I don't have freedom anymore. I don't even have a family anymore. My mother died from sickness. My father was murdered by a man from Trek D. One of my brothers died of frostbite. The other was exiled because he didn't believe in what was happening to our land. Because he spoke out against the horror consuming our people. I haven't seen him since. We used to have names for God's sake. We had names for our treks. We had names for landmarks. We had names ourselves. We've forgotten. It's all a hazy memory. I bet we could remember if we tried but no one wants to. I have tried before but it felt like a memory I could reach but not hold. I can't pull it up. Now, we have letters for our Treks, A-G. We have no landmarks only, "That place where we last dug." or, "Near the clearing we found our first clue." or, "By the mountain north of here." We have only numbers for names. If someone were to speak to me, no one does, but if they did, they'd call me Seven. If I introduced myself to an outsider, I'd merely be SevenC. It's that simple. Now, we don't have to worry about that and can pay more attention to the important stuff. Namely, the hidden treasure we all want so desperately.

I suddenly hear voices up ahead. I stop dead. I'm not near any other Trek territory. No one in C travels out this far. There's only one solution. They've got to be Exiles. I slip up to a tree and climb silently up it's branches. My one skill. Moving silently and quickly.

I've had to prove my worth to my Trek over and over. I'm one of ten people in the Trek. If you can't survive and provide, you're gone. You get thrown out. And I doubt the Exiles will let you in either.

I see a group, four people only my age huddled around a glowing light. Again, I feel like I know what the light is, only I don;t remember it anymore, no one does. Which means those aren't exiles, their people who haven't forgotten. People who remember. And I want to find out who they are. I narrow my green eyes at the glowing embers once more and images flash through my mind. But only fragments and pieces that don't fit together leaving me only knowing I do know what it is.

I leap from the tree and my hood flies off, revealing my long, brown hair tied up in a bun behind my head like it always is for hunting.

The thrill of new people and the warmth of the light has left me hotter than usual and I let down my hair. It flows down over my shoulders reaching just to my knees. I have never cut it and take care of it. No one else knows I still have hair like this. All the other girls' hair was cut short like a boys' so it wouldn't interfere with our work. I feel like I'm keeping a piece of my mother, remembering her long golden hair and her voice telling me to always take care of the gift of beauty I've been given. Who from I don't know. If there is a God above, I wish he'd look down and help me, look down and save us, even just look down and do something to show he cares.

I walk up to the teenagers. When they see me they all rise and point weapons at me. One girl comes face to face with me, eyeing my long hair with suspicion and interest and I find myself glad a let it down at all.

"Who are you?" She asks me.

"Seven." I say automatically. "From Trek C. Who-who are you?"

"Can I trust you?"

"Depends." I respond. "I think that's up to you." She looks curious now. They all do. They look surprised to find me to be...me. The way I am. Different from everyone else, not speaking robotically like they do.

"Fine. Do you trust me?"

"I have yet to find that out." I say. "Should I?"

"You're supposed to just say no automatically. You're not supposed to even consider trusting us. That's what they all do. All of them." She sounds confused. I raise my chin.

"Well, maybe I'm not like them. Maybe I don't believe in what they do. Maybe I wish we went back to the way we lived before all this."

"You remember?"

"Yes." I say. "I remember." Then I look at the ground below me. "Or, I want to. But I don't remember much."

"Of course not." The girl whispers. She slowly lowers her weapon as to the others. "Would you remember? Would you trust me and find out? Even if it meant trusting me completely? Even if it meant leaving your Trek forever? Even if it meant joining us and never looking back?" I consider this. I study her face. She is pretty, auburn hair and green eyes, bright like mine. She's taller than me but only a little and looks strong. I consider her request. To leave everything behind. To give up my life, my home, my Trek, for answers. The truth.

"All of them?" I ask. "All the answers? All the truth?" She looks at me.

"Yeah." She nods. "All of them.

*****************************************************

"What's your name?" The girl asks me again.

"Seven." I respond.

"No, your real name, the one your parents gave you. Like my name is Azar which means fire." She gestures to her hair.

"Fire?" The word sounds odd in my mouth.

"The light source burning outside." She explains.

Fire

And suddenly, the memories fit together, they make sense. My mother and I laughing as we sit by the fire. My brothers discussing the way we'll cook our catch over the fire. Me and my father flying through the woods to escape the wildfire on our heels.

Fire

I gasp.

"I remember." I say. Azar's head snaps up and she looks shocked.

"What?"

"I remember." I whisper again.

"You do?" She gaspes. I nod.

"I remember a lot. All the memories I forgot."

And quite suddenly, a song begins to play in my mind.

Memories swirl, memories fly

Memories help us remember who we are

Who we are

They have guided us this far

They let understand who we are

Who we are

We must be careful where we tread

There is darkness up ahead

Up ahead

Greed will take us instead

Replace the spot where love once lead

Up ahead

It had taken us before

Thought of treasure jewels and lore

Jewels and lore

We must not give up our fight or

Stray from what we know is right, for

Jewels and lore

So be warned

Yes, be warned

Then my mother's soft, sweet voice.

"Remember, Athena, who you are. Don't let the world change who you are."

"Athena." I whisper.

"What?" Azar askes me.

"Athena. My name is Athena." My breath comes in gasps. "It means strong, spirit. That's what my mother told me."

My mother, Amara, sweet, gentle, loving. My father, Cathel, strong, brave, fierce. My brothers, Anwar and Kiran, both brave and strong and friendly.

"My mother was Amara, my father Cathel. I had two brothers too, Anwar and Kiran." I tell the girl, exited as the flow of memories keep coming. Azar narrows her eyes.

"Kiran?"

"Yeah but he was Exiled. And-"

"Athena, Kiran is here." I stop short and stare.

"What?"

"He's here! Kiran is here." I shake my head.

"No, he can't be." But Azar is already standing and heading outside. I rise and follow. The cool night air blows on my face and I look up to see the stars twinkling in the night sky.

A memory flashes to mind. My Trek out together on a journey. Using the stars to guide us. How did we forget? What made the memories fade? I remember Mother's song.

There is darkness up ahead

How did she know?

Greed will take us instead.

Who told her?

It has taken us before.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts as a boy walks up to me. He is tall and strong. His blonde hair parts perfectly in the middle and part of it falls into his green eyes. He's handsome. And he looks just like mother.

"Kiran?" I whisper softly. He looks confused. He wears precisely the same face my brother wore all the time, so often perplexed because he was so often curios. Then, his eyes widen in shock.

"Athena?" He gasps.

"Yes! It's me." We embrace. "You're alive!"

"You're alive."

"Of course I'm alive, Kiran." I say, pulling away.

"But you're alive. You don't act like the others. How?"

"I just-I never have." I say, confused.

"My theory is that some people just don't." A voice pipes up behind me. I turn around to see a boy with black hair and bug blue eyes looking at me.

"What?" I inquire.

"That some people are immune to the curse and are meant to fix it all." I stare.

"Curse?"

"It's been re-occuring every hundred years or so. People just forget. Except those who never did. Those who keep remembering. But they usually die."

"How do you know?" I ask him.

"Because I know what the cause of the curse is. And I know where we can find it."

**************************************************

We sit around the fire in a circle, Azar, Kiran, Castor, meaning star, Augustus, meaning leader, and I.

"So..." I say "We're just going to search for it to?"

"No." Castor leans forward. "We're going to find it."

"Where?" I say for what has to be the twentieth time.

"It's not where we go." He tells me.

"It's what we do." Azar finishes.

"So then what do we do?" Kiran askes. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one confused.

"We pray."

"Pray?" I ask.

"To the King of Heaven, the Lord of Lords. The only one who can lift the curse from the land of Xylertion. He's the only one to defeat the devil. He's the only one who can do anything." I shake my head and stare.

"What?" I have that feeling again like I should remember and I don't.

"Athena." Kiran looks at me. "Think." I do. I close my eyes. And I remember.

I remember Mother telling me a story. The most amazing story ever told.

A story that all started with God. The one who created the universe and holds the whole world in his hands. He created everything, put two humans in the most beautiful garden to ever exist. Yet they sinned. It wasn't enough. They were punished and sent away forever from the garden.

And over and over, evil took us. And over and over, we sinned against the only one who could ever really love us. Yet he came as a man and died for us. He called us his own. When we've never done one thing to deserve it. Never done one thing to obey or trust him.

But it didn't matter because that was his plan all along. He wanted us to choose him. But he knew we wouldn't. He created us to glorify him and this has always been his plan.

And the curse is our sin. It's that we keep on doing wrong over and over until we don't even know we're wrong anymore. And those who remember are the ones who believe.

And I look at the others and I do too. I nod.

"Let's do it."

And we do. We join hands and close our eyes. And we pray. We pray with all our hearts and minds and souls, crying out to the God of the universe.

We thank him for the life in our lungs and the land he's given us.

We thank him for saving us and calling us his.

We beg him to lift the curse from our land and heal our hearts.

We beg him to forgive us for all the wrong we'll do. All the wrong we'll keep doing.

Finally, we thank him that he loves us and gives us more mercy than we could ever deserve.

And in that moment as our voices combine, as our plea flies towards heavens gate and along the crystal stream and by the tree of life up to the throne of God, as the entire land of Xylertion tears itself apart, he hears us.

He always hears us. Every time we call do him. And, in his own time, he does something, he saves us.

And as his love once again washes our land clean, I see his glory and his majesty and his undeniable, unattainable holiness. And I know I can never never forget again.

The End