Murder in the Alien Glass

Timeborn Magazine, June 15th, 1835 - “Heiress Passing, Parisian Tragedy”

‘Sadly one of the leading ladies of fine French-American home decor was killed today, outside her summer home on the Rue de le Paix. Janette Le Comte, known better by her American business nomen, Jane Comney, was found dead in less than decent state propped between the light post and post box by a local crier just before the dawn, Saturday. We all express our sincerest regrets. Lady Comney was the beloved mother of three boys, Peter, Jacob, and Edney Comney, their father unknown, and her French and American estates shall pass to them. Of her ladies’ home furnishings empire, the future remains yet to be ascertained. Please send all regards in the form of a donation to the Monaco Ladies’ Yacht Club, in support of widows whose husbands have been lost at sea. The family kindly respects you honor their privacy in these most regrettable of times.’

Timeborn Magazine, March 1st, 1839 - “Late Heiress’s Son on the Mend, Due at Oxford”

‘Our British office is pleased to report to the press the recent sighting of the middle boy of the late ladies’ home decor maven, Janey Comney, a one Jacob Comney, out and about in Trafalgar’s square on this fine spring day. The boy, a hardy 18 as if this past December, was seen romping about with some friends, smiling, in the cut-off trousers our long time readers will know Lady Comney hardly found decent. It is of latest report that he will be joining his eldest brother, Peter, at Oxford after the summer holiday, with the intent of following his uncle Rodrick Comney into the family business. According to our inside reports, the Janey Comney foundation and furniture business is alive and running well, with plans to release their new fall decor line next month. We hear it’ll be a scream!’

Eucatastrophe Magazine, Furniture Ad, July 8th, 1839 - “Comney Fall Decor Release!”

‘Come one, come all, to the Comney Family Furniture showroom! We’ve got everything you’ll possibly need for a family fall gathering that’s simply a smash! Opening September 1st, come see the latest in dining fashion, with the finest oak tables right from the Black Forest, to your hearth. Customizable, with six, eight, and twelve-foot tables available, we have a passion for your health and success. Come, too, and see our delightful glowing glassware! Nothing like it can be found even in the emperor’s closets of the olden days. Even your fussiest Mrs. is sure to be pleased by our exotic bone china, our tiger-tooth toothpicks, and an exclusive premonitory visit by local ‘auto-mata-graphic’ mystic Marina Haboo at our New York location, October the Tenth, one-day only!’

Letter from Jacob Comney to Edney Comney, dated July 20th, 1839

‘Oy Ed. Can’t believe he—right? I’m practicing mirror-reverse text, like DaVinci, but I haven’t quite got it yet, so this is it from me. Peter is out. Doesn’t want none. Glass or bone, I’ll tell you that. Glass or bone, alone. Don’t ship it. Don’t listen. You’ll know what to do. Yours. Jake.’

Timeborn Magazine, August 8th, 1839 - “Woe, Indeed. Troubled Heiress’s Brother Makes It Double?”

‘Rodrick Henetter Comney, former estranged older brother and current president and owner of the legendary and stately Comney Furniture empire, was recently seen in a spat with nephew, Peter Comney, of the late Jane Comney, outside an anonymous cafe in the North of London. A Mr. Tim Talbots reports the feud being of a monetary nature, with it known by other sources that the mogul has been struggling as of late, with many outside debts to the Chinese and Russian sources of his more elite furniture, and other perhaps more sensory, if less newsworthy, delights. As is well-known, the Comney empire has long been famed, going back to the late Lady Comney’s time, as having the, de-facto, most rare and usual furniture anywhere in New York today, and perhaps even in ‘Old Parie.’ While Talbots suspects the senior Mr. Comney of asking his nephew for money, the source is unclear, as Mr. Talbots is known in the parts for his superfluous imbibitions. Peter Comney has declined comment at this time, requests privacy for his wife and their four young children. His maternal uncle’s whereabouts remain clandestine.’

Paper, undated, found at Comney Furniture Store on the evening of October 10th, among many similar, at the desk space assigned to the psychic, a one Ms. Marina Haboo, formerly of Louisiana

‘THE WRETCH SPEAKS IN THE GLASS. BREATHE IN. BREATH IN. RELEASE YOU INTO THE GLASS.’

The diary of a Ms. Louisa Epcot Neilson, native to New York, dated October 10th, 1839

‘Well I tell you I’ve had the strangest day, diary. Genevieve and I were exceptionally keen to be down to the Comney place for their little Hallo-ween party this morning, though I swore to her and mother that that wretched place has gone quite downhill, and I’m mortified to report how right I was! I imagine I should get my money back, but I haven’t the slightest imagining as to how?? Oh it was wretched. And Genevieve, she was so happy to see that madwoman, what was she? A psychic? A hypergraphia? Anyway, I suppose the furniture was charming, til we came to this rather large green bowl. ‘Uranium glass,’ our escort informed us. ‘Scientific marvel.’ Well, there was no science about it. Cursed furniture, it was. As we tossed our coins into the glass to make a wish, the witch-woman screamed, and her pen went flying about on the paper, and I tell you, I tell you diary, I saw a man’s panicked face in that vase, crying for help, just as poor Genevieve fell dead away.’

Timeborn Magazine, October 12th, 1839 - "Sudden Death at the Comney House"

‘Our reporting team once again has the regrettable duty of reporting more tragedy at the Comney Furniture House. Although police are still investigating the incident, Ms. Genevieve Riviera of Saugus Street, Connecticut, has been confirmed gone to the Lord, called away suddenly while viewing the esteemed collection of new Uranium glassware at the House. Peter Comney sends his absolute condolences to the Riviera family, even as he renews his request for privacy at this time. It is unclear who will take the reins of the beleaguered decor fashion house from here, as Roderick Comney remains suspect and missing at the time of this printing. May God have mercy on the belated’s souls.’

Letter, half-torn, undated, but with a Comney return address, and mailing stamp for October 10th, recovered by police on October 19th, 1839

‘I can’t believe it worked, Jake. What does this make us then? What does this make us then, Jake?’

Letter, abandoned, found at the Oxford dormitory of Jacob Comney in his own hand

‘We are free men, Ed. It makes us free men. Like dad, we are free.’

The 'confessions' of Lady Jane Comney, dated September 2nd, 1834, sealed in wax and cement, and sunk in the river Seine, recovered in poor condition on October 3rd, 1922

‘…my man… the fine purveyor of souls… come for me. I am Jane Comney of Orion Street. I grew up poor. I am no more lady than a mouse. My husband… not of this world. My brother, Rodrick, is a fool for money… I know what to do when I am fooled. … Peter is his father’s son and will have no part, but Jacob, my Jacob… I have left him the glass. I have left him… I haven’t much time. Their father will come for me. They have never forgiven me for what … I’ve taken from their ship. I had never seen so many lights. Even in all the cursed furniture of the world, I had never seen so many lights. … They will never guess the furniture. They will never guess he came from the sky. My husband. Oh, my husband has left, and how can they know? ... I must take from my brother his soul as he has taken from me my coin, my pride, my Peter… They will never know. And so I must tell them. Before I die, I must tell them all…’