Ledger of the Damned

Life is fragile, and time is unkind to the mortal. They are constantly teetering on the edge of life and death, and one mundane action can push them to one side or the other. Life is determined second to second, and in those seconds an entire universe moves without a single person noticing. Seconds by themselves are imperceptible, much like a grain of sand is to a beach. But seconds combined become minutes, become hours, become years, become decades, become centuries, become millennia. To a millennium, a second is inconsequential. To a human, it controls life or death.

In one second, a hummingbird flaps its wings nearly 80 times, light travels 186,000 miles, and the human body produces two to three million red blood cells. In one second, four humans are born while two others perish. Every minute 120 humans walk through my door.

This is Barbara, who just fell on a knife in her kitchen. The blade sliced her carotid artery, and she bled out alone while making her husband his favorite meal for their anniversary. In a few seconds, he will enter the kitchen and find the love of his life dead in a crimson pool as the Beach Boys play in the background.

This is Ted, who just had a stroke while driving and ran into a telephone pole. The airbag pushed the cartilage from his nose into his already bleeding brain. He was taking his daughter Emily to her friend’s pool party. Don’t worry—Emily survived, but it won’t be long before she enters my threshold.

This is Marshall, a fireman who couldn’t get out of a burning building fast enough before it collapsed. He managed to save a child from the inferno but in doing so traded his life for hers.

This is Mohammad, who died from cancer he had been fighting for years. A plethora of seconds undone by one.

This is Gwen, who died peacefully in her sleep. For her, the mortal second went unnoticed as she simply drifted away.

This is Carlos, who died choking on his favorite candy. The neighborhood boys watched in panic as he turned blue and fell to the ground.

These are Reed, Clint, and Dolores, who all died from tuberculosis—not in the same location, of course.

This is Hiro, who died from hanging himself with his necktie in his room. The pressure of second after second of work became too much, and relief was found in just one.

This is Alexey, who died from a drone strike in war. He had six children at home who became fatherless and a wife who became a widow in one second.

This is Victoria, who was beaten to death by her abusive husband, George. He came home as she was picking her keys up to leave him.

This is Frank, who died from a heart attack from all the fast food he ate against his doctor's and wife’s wishes.

This is Ernest, a janitor whose heart stopped beating while he was mopping the women’s restroom. It's a shame someone will have to clean the floor again.

This is Martin, who died after he was stabbed in the metro for refusing to relinquish his watch. It was his father’s after all.

This is Alonso, who was struck by a car as he ran his daily route. He was training for his first marathon after winning a battle with leukemia.

This is Claire, whose heart stopped beating while she watched her favorite soap opera. Was it because Dino’s evil twin brother returned?

This is Alex, who died of an overdose in the streets. The six people surrounding him were too high to notice he was no longer breathing.

This is Walter, a CEO who shot himself before his trial for insider trading. From powerful to plain in one second.

This is Gemini; she died after unknowingly taking something laced with fentanyl. She was studying for an exam that would determine the rest of her life. Needless to say, that exam did its job.

This is Cheng, who collapsed on a bench and died from a heart attack. All those that passed by thought he was just another sleeping homeless man.

This is Howard, a beloved actor and philanthropist who died in his home despite the best care money could buy.

This is Juan, who died from a telephone pole falling on him after a car accident. His headphones were too loud to hear the screech and crash of the car.

This is Maggie, who died giving birth to a child with no name as her husband, Greg, held her hand tight.

This is George, who killed himself after realizing what he had done to his wife. Impulse control was never one of his strongest attributes.

This is Ye-Jun, who died of natural causes while surrounded by his family and loved ones. Humans consider this a “nice” death; it is all the same to me.

This is William, who was disemboweled after the machine he was working on spontaneously blew apart. This machine had been subject to numerous recalls, but the floor manager looked the other way.

This is Clark, Rose, Tyler, Emma, and Riley, a sweet family of five on the way to the beach, who died after a semi-truck driver didn’t look both ways before turning left.

This is Steven, who died for simply being at the wrong place at the wrong time. A stray bullet caught him in the side of the head as he enjoyed his morning coffee.

This is Wanda, a hoarder who died of natural causes amongst her collection. Chances are she will not be found for a very long time.

This is Stu, who died from the AIDS virus after being shunned by his conservative family for being homosexual. His boyfriend Clint had died from AIDS months ago, so Stu did not have the pleasure of being surrounded by those he loved.

This is Rian, who was abducted months ago. A nationwide search has been ongoing for her, and her face has been plastered all over. Now they will only find her body—if they find anything.

This is Shirley and Don, a loving couple of 50 years that decided to euthanize themselves together peacefully and legally in a sanctioned clinic. They died holding hands, just as they were when they walked through my door.

This is Luka, who died of hypothermia after falling through the ice while fishing in the middle of a semi-frozen lake. His friend Henrik was supposed to go with him, but Sofia asked him to stay the night.

This is Mikey, who died from anaphylactic shock after being stung by a bee while playing in the woods. His parents always told him not to go past the fence.

This is Amelie, who died from the flu. Doctors warned her parents that her immune system would struggle against almost anything from an early age.

This is Viktor, who died during a routine surgery to correct his pacemaker. The doctor will struggle to find the words for the family for some time.

This is Bruce, an alcoholic who died of liver failure. He was surrounded by empty cans of beer and the smell of vomit.

This is Oxford, a divisive man in the US Senate who died well past his time. Half the nation will mourn while the other half will celebrate.

This is Ginger, an exotic dancer and escort who trusted the wrong man in a seedy motel. It is likely her case file will gather dust.

This is Abigail, a mother of two whose heart stopped at her daughter’s soccer game. A quick response was able to revive her, but she will never forget what she saw as she entered my door.

This is Walter, who died in hospice care. He was surrounded by no one, as his family shunned him years ago for his abusive behavior.

This is Maggie, a criminal pathologist who killed herself after performing an autopsy on a little girl who experienced atrocious abuse from her parents. The child had 27 fractured bones, a burst eyeball, numerous cuts and burn marks, and the word “devil” carved into her stomach.

This is Benjamin, who died of a lethal injection after a 25-year stay on death row. The father of his victim was never able to see it carried out, as he entered my doorway years ago in hopes of being reunited with his daughter.

This is Leland, who died from kidney failure after living with diabetes his whole life.

This is Patty, who died from a pulmonary embolism after a blood clot traveled to her lungs. COVID was particularly hard on her.

This is Rockne, who died of sepsis from a wound he was too stubborn to seek help for until it was too late. Just like seconds, tiny cuts can seem minor against the whole.

This is Randy, who was poisoned by his wife after she found out he was having an affair. She never told him so he wouldn’t be suspicious of the new taste her cooking had.

This is Bart, who died in his sleep after mixing the wrong types of drugs together. He chased a euphoria but found me instead.

This is Mary, Gretchen, Baker, and Will, who died in a boating accident. Will was trying too hard to impress the ladies and lost control of the boat. It slammed into a wharf and sent all four flying to their death. Mary broke her neck, Gretchen was impaled on a fence, Baker went headfirst into a wall, and Will was decapitated by the windshield.

This is a child who was born and died with no name. He barely got to experience a second, which for him was a lifetime.

Those are the 60 souls that walked through my doorway in the last 30 seconds. Sixty more walked in 30 seconds before them, and 60 more will walk in in another 30 seconds. This 30 will become forgotten as each second passes. In the time I’ve read my list to you, more than 120 souls have walked in. Different names. Different causes. The same conclusion.

I could read you that list, but afterwards there would be another. Just as the seconds are unnoticed when compared to a century, these people will go unnoticed in a sea of souls.