A Spirit World Quest

My toes curled over the edge of the cliff—breath catching in my throat, heart thundering—as I peered through strands of whipping black hair. Below, two mighty rivers glistened in the moonlight, flowing into one. This was the place where life met death.

I blinked away tears to study my hands. They appeared paler than their usual light brown. When I wiggled my fingers, ghost-like shadows trailed behind them in the charged atmosphere.

In my bed, on another plane, my body slept peacefully. Dreaming was the gateway to the Spirit World.

This wasn’t my first visit to this realm, however, tonight’s journey had a purpose. My family was shattering to pieces and only Grandma Lola could fix it.

Turning away from the terrifying drop to the riverbed, I beheld the forest. Whenever I entered this world, the forest reflected my emotions. Usually, the ambiance was lighter, warmer, intermittent with mild gusts. Tonight, however, menaces lurked in every dark corner.

I tread with caution into the thicket of bristling evergreens and bare aspens. Limbs quaking, blood heaving in my ears. The trees gobbled me up.

Desperate longing for my grandma Lola's advice urged me forward into the mist-seized Spirit Forest. On my previous visit, I was greeted with fiery autumn foliage swishing serenely in the breeze. Now, the tree trunks groaned, sentient branches clawing at a purply black sky.

A path awash in muted greys appeared below my bare feet as I stepped over the threshold into the brush. Owl hoots and rat twitters accosted my ears while I marched onward, following the indicated route.

When a movement caught in my peripheral vision, I went rigid. Every fibre of my makeup itched to turn towards the strange silver glow that wove itself through the trees alongside my path. But I knew better. Straying from a path in the Spirit World could mean getting lost here forever.

I fixed my eyes forward, the hairs at the back of my neck porcupine quills. The streaking silver object hopped over roots and darted between ferns, coming closer, closer.

It emerged from the trees.

The heavy palpitations of my heart warned me—this being was foe, not friend. I was tempted to turn and run back to the cliff, but the quest to find my grandmother could not wait. If I chose to leave, only Creator knew when I would be permitted to walk this plane again.

The object rolled into my path, forcing me to halt. The scintillant creature stilled. I recoiled, forgetting the immutable rule for anyone walking a dark forest path—do not meet the eyes of a malevolent being.

Gawking at the mystic thing, my mind slowed, grappling to comprehend the nickel sheened beast I beheld.

It righted itself, sending shudders into my toes. I squinted, discerning a chest and abdomen. But no legs. Nor arms.

Sitting atop a wrinkle-scored neck was a head draped in oily black strands. My eyes trailed up to find a mouth filled with jagged teeth, a fleshless nose of two gaping holes. My regard fell on depthless eyes before I realized my error. I whipped my head away, gluing my eyes to the ground. Was a millisecond of meeting gazes enough for the creature to lure my soul off the path?

I peered up through my lashes, watching flittingly as the creature lay itself back on the ground. It rolled languidly towards me; the crunch of twigs and brambles under its fragmented form scrunched my body into a cringe. Defying physics, it righted itself again, close enough now for its rank breath to moisten my cheek. I bit my tongue, clamping my eyes shut, bracing for razor-sharp teeth to sink into my flesh.

“Leave her be,” commanded a soft-tenored voice.

I cracked open an eye. The monster from my people’s stories, a creature born of nightmares, evaporated into mist. I let out a sigh of relief, my eyes trailing up the path, wishing, but not daring to believe—I grinned. The spirit whom I sought had saved me.

Grandma Lola crossed her arms over her signature puffy, vinyl vest, a knowing smile on her lips.

“Grandma!” I ran into her arms, which she folded around me in a firm hug that shucked off the forest’s chill. “Thank you for saving me. Was that what I thought it was?”

She nodded against the top of my head. “The hurt we inflict during our lives manifests as the monsters from stories here in the Spirit World. It took a while, but I figured out how to shoo the creeps away. No biggie.”

I balked at my grandma’s nonchalance. To her, the terrifying, dismembered torso was nothing but a fly in need of a swat. A troubling thought shot into my head then. “You aren’t alone here, are you?” She smirked, her fluff of freshly curled, grey hair swaying in the wind.

“The ancestors came to collect me to cross over, and they’re with me when I need them. Sometimes, even when I don’t.” She chuckled.

“Grandpa?”

“He has found his way here too; he’s waiting for me now, beyond your forest.”

The tension between my shoulders eased. This forest was partially of my mind’s making, and also incontestably real and independent from me, a place where the spirits of my ancestors could fade in and out of—a crossroads.

“Why have you come, kiddo?” She took a step back and pinned my face with worry. I studied each wrinkle and sunspot, a map of her life. I shook my head; it never got less weird, looking at a mirror image of myself fifty years in the future.

As we took each other in, the edges of the horizon began to pink. I squinted against the brightness of the sky. It chased away the grey film coating the entire dreamscape, its dullness absconding into the shadows. My grandma had brought the light with her.

My body tingled with growing awareness, which meant dawn also approached in the waking world. I didn’t have much time.

“Grandma, it’s your daughters,” I said with exasperation. “They’re fighting over their inheritance. Refusing to speak or listen to one another. Resentment is festering, spreading to the cousins. The family is crumbling. And I—I can’t do anything to repair it. You were always the glue that held us together.”

Grandma Lola shook her head. “They’ve disappointed me, my girls… They don’t understand. There is no real value in stuff. The only possessions you can bring with you to the Spirit World are memories. Along with the regrets you have, the mistakes you made. Each of those darker, shameful parts of yourself wait to be dealt with when you arrive.” A sigh. “Dying and moving on from life was not as simple as I thought.”

Her eyes went unfocused for a moment, all the horrors and joys she had witnessed roiling below their glassy surface. I wanted to ask Grandma Lola if she was finally at peace, but she spoke again before I had the chance. “I can’t do much to help you. All I can do is love each of my girls, despite their downfalls.” She cupped my cheek with a soft hand, wiping away a trickling tear with her thumb.

“So, I came for nothing.”

“Your visit wasn’t nothing to me.”

I nodded, threading my hand into hers. The warmth of my grandma and of budding daylight seeped into my bones. But I lingered. “I don’t want to go.”

She patted my shoulder. “But you can’t stay.”

I looked around me… no recognizable landmarks. The path below my feet had also vanished. “I think I’m lost, Grandma. This damn forest changes every time I come. How do I get out?”

She smiled, revealing glints of silver fillings. “You will be just fine, honey. Whichever path you choose. And my girls will find their way, too.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

I leaned into Grandma Lola’s chest, the beat of her heart steady against my ear. I breathed her in—Ponds face cream and Earl Grey.

“Alright, Grandma.” My heart lightened in tune with the brightening forest. I squeezed my grandma’s hand and pulled away. “Good-bye.” I smiled forlornly. “See you?” It was both a question and a farewell, which she answered with a kiss on my cheek.

Reluctantly, I turned and padded away. When the tingling in my body morphed into blinking nerves, I broke into a jog. My panic mounted until at last, the cliff came into sight, a slivered sun hovering above it.

With resolve, I strode towards the ridge and looked down. The rivers below entwined tumultuously. In love and conflict. Like family.

The wind had died, allowing dawn’s rays to warm my freckled cheek. Leaning over, I gulped at the sight of jutting, spiny crags.

Go ahead, Sweetie. Grandma Lola’s voice echoed in my head. Everything will be alright. Let go of what you can't control.

Her parting words were a balm. They let me off the hook. I could not bridge the family ruptures. Faith was my only recourse. I teetered on the edge of the cliff, closed my eyes, and filled my lungs with the magic-filled air of the Spirit World. And then, I jumped.