I'll do it for you

Tightening his grip around the smooth metal pole, Gibb tensed the muscles in his arms and legs. Ready to jump to the middle pole with the little platform on top of it. Currently, he was on the shortest pole, approximately four meters above ground. He hadn’t reached the tiny platform on its end as the routine was to jump from the first pole to the next.

The metal warmed under his hand and under the back of his knee which he had wrapped around the metal. If he waited any longer, he would start sweating. Still, he hesitated. It was the first time trying the routine on the poles itself. Although he had done similar stunts before he felt his heart beating up his throat. One tiny mistake would make him either get hurt or even worse fall. Both consequences would have people rush over, which would be the worst of all.

Solon, his trainer, was standing at the side of the training field, staring up to the artist hanging hesitantly on the metal pole. Gibb didn’t need to turn his face to know that his every move was being watched by the strict older man. This uncomfortable attention made his hands sweat more than the fear of falling to the ground.

“At one point you have to jump! Forget about the flourish and extras. We’ll add that later. Just make sure you won’t miss the pole.”

He was shouting although his tone was neutral. The raise in volume was due to the commotion from all the other artists practicing their various acts in the training fields provided to them. Knowing this, Gibb still felt the knot in his stomach tighten and he regretted not having jumped immediately. The attention of getting hurt would have been uncomfortable but brief. With a physical injury he then would have been able to avoid the crowded gym for the next few days.

“Come down, if you can’t make it. We’ll tell Director Saran that we need to change the routine.”

Hearing the circus director’s name Gibb almost lost his grip. Sliding down by a few centimeters it took a painful tensing of his muscles and shifting his weight to stop his descending. The pole started to swing slightly and a new fear of the pole not being securely mounted made him breathe faster. He couldn’t hear any of the noises of the gym anymore but only the swooshing sound of his blood in his ears. His vision started to blur either because of tears or because he actually was going to faint.

Get a grip, soldier!

Somewhere deep inside his head the order was barked in Ti. His mother tongue. Immediately Gibb closed his eyes. Instantly his breathing slowed down and the grip around the pole changed. Visualizing the jump which lay ahead of him he felt energy surge through him. It was a warm feeling and despite it being so familiar it wasn’t comfortable to know how easily he lost control. Widening his eyes in panic all thoughts of failure and injury left his mind. Being discovered would be far worse. Being able to wield energy was forbidden in Hanjan. Punishable by death. So, he jumped. Adding the flip in the air, which he had discussed with Solon.

Carried by the precision of the energy, he grabbed the middle pole without sliding even a centimeter from the planned spot. Under the sudden impact the pole started to swing as well but this time being prepared by the previous experience Gibb leaned into the motion. Like a monkey on a palm tree, he climbed to the swaying equipment and finally landed on the tiny platform.

“What was that?! I told you to stick to the basics. It’s your first time! Get familiar with the equipment first!”

Almost automatically Gibb’s body wanted to bow to signal his trainer that he had understood but just in time he caught himself. Stopping the movement which might have given away too much about his background. Instead, he gave the trainer a thumbs up and even forced a hopefully cheeky smile. The trainer answered with a grumpy expression and a dismissive wave of his hand. Then the acrobat concentrated on suppressing the energy so that only the illusion, which had been accompanying his life for almost ten years was in place. After a few deep breaths he was sure that his mask hadn’t slipped. The prickling of the energy trying to escape faded away. The light blue shimmer was suppressed. He was back in control.

Pushing the anxiety about detection away, he concentrated on the view over the gym. In the back of the gym, he could see his brother lifting weights. His face was flushed and completely focused on his task. The short artist sighed a breath of relief. When it came to Gibb’s wellbeing and detecting any kind of distress he was in Ardus possessed a sixth sense. Especially during training this posed a problem as Gibb often felt uncomfortable around his trainer or when too many people gathered around him. Over the years Gibb had worked hard on hiding when he felt anxious but often enough Ardus had abandoned his own training to protect his older brother.

“If you’re feeling better, continue with the basic routine! We’ll discuss what went wrong as soon as you’re on the ground.”

Nodding to signal his agreement Gibb wanted to continue with the next flips and turns, when his senses told him that someone was watching him. It wasn’t a regular person being interested in his artistic performance but a more probing gaze which Gibb felt chill his bones. Employing only a sliver of energy he looked around to find Pat staring at him. Immediately he let go of the energy, avoiding the boy’s eyes. He was Saran’s messenger boy, and it was better to not draw any attention. Before looking away he noticed a strange colorful hue in the usually brown eyes. For just the fraction of a second he was sure that the boy’s eyes had lit up in all colors of the rainbow.

“Have you forgotten?! It was turn, turn, flip. Then change the pole.”

Snapping back the attention to his trainer, Gibb pushed away the uncomfortable feeling, concentrating on his task ahead. Pat was probably only there to observe the training in general and report back to his master. Clearing his mind and tensing his body, he continued with his routine.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come along? It might do you some good to meet …”

“When has it ever done me any good? No, just go on your own. I can’t relax and you can’t relax when I’m with you.”

Ardus looked at his brother with a doubtful expression on his face, but Gibb pretended not to see it. Instead, he forced himself to eat another spoon of the stew they had bought for dinner. Clenching the spoon hard enough so his knuckles shone white through his skin, he suppressed a sigh.

“You can’t go on like this forever, tie. You have to think about Talin as well. When he …”

“He is well taken care of at Master Kandaa’s. There he will learn how to socialize. It’s not me he needs to look after him.”

“But he looks up to you. And he’s never really been happy there. Don’t you want …”

A knock at the door made them stop their conversation immediately and silently both pushed their chairs back to get up. While Gibb moved his body towards the simple wooden door, every step was controlled and his body tense, ready to attack. Ardus positioned himself strategically to be able to support his older brother. While his movements were as silent as his brother’s they lacked the flowing natural grace.

Just when Gibb had positioned himself at the door, there was another knock, more impatient this time. Looking through the peephole in the door, Gibb threw open the door, startling the young errand boy standing in the corridor. Stumbling backwards half a step, the color had drained from the boy’s face. In his trembling hands he held a letter.

“I … I … Master Kandaa sends me. There’s no need for an immediate reply.”

Without waiting for a response, the boy threw the envelope in Gibb’s direction and fled down the dimly lit corridor.

“Could you stop to tense up like this? It really drives me nuts every time. We’ve been here for so long. Do you still think they’ll retaliate after ten years?”

Gibb didn’t react to his brother’s remark but closed the door softly and returned to the table. Just like the errand boy, his fingers were shaking. Master Kandaa only contacted them in regard to Talin.

“Just open it. It won’t get better if you don’t know what he wants.”

“What if he’s hurt? Maybe he’s sick. We can’t take him back again, Ardus. He’s supposed to lead a normal life.”

“If he was sick, Master Kandaa would have told us immediately. He did last time, remember?”

Ardus shot his brother a disappointed look, but Gibb was too focused on the possible dreadful message to notice. Gibb’s thoughts kept spiraling, and the lump in his stomach grew heavier. He wanted Talin to have a chance to grow up like a regular Hanjan citizen.

“If you don’t open it, I will.”

Lunging halfway over the table, grabbing for the envelope, Gibb reacted quickly. Jumping up and automatically taking an aggressive stance, he was seconds away from attacking. Another surge of the energy rushed through his body making the air around him glisten in a light blue hue. Immediately, Ardus lifted his hands in a defensive gesture. It felt like he wanted to calm down a ferocious animal.

“Calm down. Breathe. Tie, just open the letter.”

Using his way of addressing a family member in Ti, the glimmer in the air almost immediately disappeared. After a few deep breaths, Gibb loosened his tensed-up muscles and sat back down at the table. Just as his younger brother had suggested he finally opened the letter. Quickly his eyes scanned the few lines written in common Han by an inexperienced hand. It was Master Kandaa’s usual way of writing. After having read the lines twice Gibb’s hands crumpled the paper. Jaws clenched, his breathing sped up again. The air around him shone even more intensely than before. Ardus didn’t dare to suggest that his brother calmed down again. This would be like pouring even more oil into the fire.

“What is it? Is it really Talin?”

Now tense as well, Ardus scanned his brother’s expression for any clue what was going on before finally getting the answer.

“He wants more money. Again.”

With a tired and slightly foggy head, Gibb was heading to the gym. Ardus was still sleeping and would join the training later. Usually, Gibb was there early to beat the crowd and avoid talking to anybody.

Despite his early morning run which usually helped him to clear his head his thoughts were still with Master Kandaa’s request. He was sweaty, tired and frustrated. Ardus had promised to help him come up with the sum the pottery master demanded but the brothers knew that it would be almost impossible to get the amount by the set deadline.

Hesitating to open the door to enter the gym he breathed in deeply to control his emotions. Still, the regret of having given Talin in Master Kandaa’s care almost two years ago kept creeping back into his thoughts.

“Uhm, excuse me, Gibb?”

Startled, the acrobat turned around and looked at Pat who had approached him without Gibb noticing. It wasn’t impossible to sneak up on him, but Gibb hadn’t sensed the boy at all. This was alarming. Immediately, suspicion rose in Gibb. Together with the uncomfortable feeling of being blindsided, he had to work hard to keep his breathing shallow and the push of energy at bay.

“Yes, how may I help you?”

Still flustered by the sudden approach, Gibb tried to be as polite as possible. It wasn’t the boy’s fault that he was bad at handling surprises.

“Uhm, well. I was wondering if you would be interested in taking on a special task.”

“Special task?”

These words escaped involuntarily in a higher pitched voice than Gibb had expected. The two words kept repeating in his mind, and his heart started to beat faster. Ardus had taken those ‘special tasks’ a few times before. He had returned late at night, smelling like heavy sweet perfume. The first time after such a task, he hadn’t talked to Gibb for days.

Gibb had to close his eyes to focus all his energy on suppressing the urge to bolt. Suddenly a foggy memory resurfaced. Half-blurred images of sneering faces popped up. He could feel people grabbing his arms. Voices were cheering as if rooting for something. He didn’t have control over his body, but his limbs tried to struggle. There was almost unbearable pain engulfing him.

“Gibb? Is … Are you …?”

The light touch of the boy’s fingers made Gibb recoil. With wide eyes he stared at the startled boy. His breathing was heavy and desperately he fought to stay in control. Trying to stop the energy from bursting from his palms. His fingernails cut into his hands, probably breaking skin but the pain helped to ground him. Slowly he shook his head and wiped his sleeve over his sweaty forehead. With his breathing still unsteady, he swallowed a few times before answering.

“Sorry. You were saying? What kind of special task?”

His voice sounded shaky even in his ears and he quickly avoided the questioning look the errand boy shot him. Usually, Ardus handled all interaction with the circus administration. As long as Gibb knew that his younger brother was nearby, he could handle being around people. But the touch of any other person, even Ardus, was almost unbearable. The only person who didn’t evoke this reaction was Talin.

“Hm. If you are not feeling well, maybe I shouldn’t ask.”

“Just … just say it. I can still refuse after you tell me the offer, right?”

“Sure. Yeah. Of course.”

The boy’s expression was difficult to read, but Gibb thought he recognized a hint of pity next to the irritation in the light-blue eyes. Confused, the artist blinked. Making eye-contact again, he stared into a pair of brown eyes, not detecting any hue of the strong blue color of just a few seconds ago.

“It’s a simple task. We have a client who is interested in acquiring a missing piece of jewelry.”

“Oh.”

This had gone in a completely different direction than Gibb had expected, and his nerves calmed down a bit. Carefully he asked for more information, but the errand boy explained that he could only share the details after Gibb had accepted the special task.

“How much does it pay?”

Instead of directly replying Pat handed him a piece of paper. There were numbers written on it. Thinking of the amount Master Kandaa had requested there was no time to hesitate. Gibb nodded, knowing that his relief would be audible as soon as he opened his mouth. This short gesture didn’t satisfy the Director’s assistant.

“As soon as you agree there is no backing out. Do you want to take care of this special task?”

Nothing had been as certain as this in a long time. Acquiring a piece of jewelry was nothing compared to what he would do for Talin. For Talin he would risk his life.

“I do.”