The Maverick

“Come in! Nozwelo? Yes, Come in please.”

Nozwelo walks in with her potential boyfriend and manages a formal smile when she locks eyes with Dr. Khoza. The young man who follows Nozwelo inside the cozy office is wearing a worn out, gray cardigan with ocean blue jeans and white converse sneakers. Dr. Khoza notices the white socks that give the outfit some personality. She smiles at that and waves them to the couch across her recliner.

Nozwelo stretches her arms and rests them strategically over her thighs, then sets her eyes on the therapist.

Dr. Khoza presses her black pen on her notebook and officially opens the session.

“So, hi you two. I’m going to try to facilitate this according to the level that we you are at. Since this is considered precautionary, it will be more interactive than educational. Let’s try to get comfortable before we go for personal, is that alright with you both?” Dr. Khoza sounds casual yet looks as focused as a chef working on the critique’s plate.

Nozwelo turns to the man wearing white socks and smiles. It’s a silent signal that she’ll go first. Dr. Khoza notices and notes it down.

“Hi Doc. Thanks for meeting us at such short notice. Uhm, so I’d really just like to make sure that we’re both aware of ourselves and each other before we take this further. I mentioned to him that there are a few things I’d like us to talk through with a professional as a mediator, just so that we’re transparent and respectful throughout this chat. My pastor approved and he told me his did as well.

Dr. Khoza catches the side eye from Nozwelo but keeps her eyes on the gentleman. This will be interesting however way it goes henceforth.

“…anyway, now here we are”, Nozwelo concludes and reaches for the bottled water on her side table.

“Well, sir. I think that leaves you now. Please go ahead and tell us what you’d like to get from this, if anything”, the doctor gestured with her hands then rested them on her lap to listen.

“Hi. My name is Umenjalo. Khumalo. I want to be with this woman for the rest of my life so I agreed to come because I want her to be sure that I’m sure about her. So, whatever I need to do, I’m on board. Oh! And my pastor did agree, in case that’s a point you want to revisit later. She approved and commended the choice. She called it ‘living responsibly’, as I recall.”

Dr. Khoza is pleasantly surprised at how well-spoken he is and she forgives herself for her inaccurate pre-judgment of him based off of his appearance. His choice of clothes gave the impression that he was dragged here against his will, but she’s pleased by the intentionality in his tone.

“Okay. So, thank you for confirming that point about your pastor, Umenjalo. Her body language gave away that that is an area of concern when she mentioned it. Perhaps, let’s start there. Nozwelo? Why did you react that way on that?”

“Well, I’m annoyed that it’s that obvious but it’s what he said basically. I don’t believe that he’s serious about me. This was all manageable and natural until he started talking about marrying me. I don’t know how to take that in. I can handle him wanting a relationship with me, but I no longer understand a man who will confidently express his desire to marry like Ume does. I can believe it and support it when it’s concerning someone else, but me…”

The doctor takes a few notes and nods.

Nozwelo was tapping her foot nervously while she spoke and Umenjalo placed his hand gently on hers. Another gesture the doctor noticed.

“Okay, thank you for sharing that Nozwelo. Very insightful and honest. Umenjalo, would you like to add anything before I issue my first exercise?” she grins in an attempt to encourage him.

“Well.” Umenjalo moves from side to side on the couch and starts avoiding eye contact with both women. The doctor sits up, surprised by the sudden change in his posture.

“I want to live my life with her. She’s an extraordinary woman, and I say that wholeheartedly. I can wait for her to learn to trust me and I’ll contribute to building that trust. I think consistency will play a huge role with that”, he takes a deep breath and squeezes Nozwelo’s hand.

“Getting to me…I’ve been to therapy before. I was twelve and scheduling my week like a professional. Mom did everything she could to make sure I didn’t struggle but I know there’s more work to be done on my part. So, the reason I’m mentioning it is that I usually have moments where I just want to isolate. I want nothing to do with anyone. No contact. Just nothing. My father was ruthless. He was a danger even to himself when he got angry and he got angry a lot. I think more than the physical abuse, I suffered emotionally and got drained. So, now in my adulthood, it’s like I constantly need to withdraw from everything regularly to build up emotional resilience.”

He finally breaks a smile and lets the tears fall freely, then continues.

“Now, I know that I need to draw that strength from God so it’s a day by day thing for me. I’m learning how to stay connected and not fall back on old patterns that don’t build. Ahh!” he wipes his face.

“I just hope that ‘Zwelo can be patient with that aspect of me. That’s it”, he turns to her with more tears welling in his eyes. Nozwelo is crying too and stays quiet while they take turns squeezing each other’s hand.

"Ume, I didn't know it was that bad. I wanna be mad that you didn't tell me but I understand why it's only coming up now. I guess we'll be coming here regularly if this is what to expect", they all laugh at that remark as Dr. Khoza turned the pages to find their first exercise.