The Snow Cougar (All I Want For Christmas is a Little Lovin') 19+ for elite ball knowledge

Authors Note: Hey yall! Its Carol! I just wanna preface this by saying im trying out something new this time: writing from a male POV. I hope I can render the fascinating male mind respectfully as a woman myself, BUT I might be a little biased because of my preferences in a male 😂 Don't get too surprised by this writing style.. i'm just describing my dream manz!!!

Chapter 1: Don't Cry Over Spilled Americano!

The crisp December morning was chilly with a hint of pine and romance drifting through the snowy air. Calloway sipped his Americano as he navigated the bustling streets of NYC. He was a rather attractive fella--maybe 26 or 7 years of age. He had luscious chocolate brown hair atop his perfectly-round head (his mom never skipped a day of head-correction-helmet-wearing when he was a baby). His hair tumbled deliciously over his sharp, captivating icy blue orbs. His business shirt hugged his frame loosely. Nothing ever seemed to fit him right as he was so lanky (box. he really liked lankybox.). His tote bag with the labubu on it hung loosely on his stringy spaghetti-like arm. He wore circular-framed glasses--you might say he looked somewhat like Daniel Radcliffe in the Harry Potter series. But not as a kid. I would say he looks like him presently in this day and age. But handsomer because honestly I just can't deal with that guy. He looks like an addict. So just picture a healthier-looking Danny R. That's all I'm sorry I'm just not too good at describing a character without comparing them to a celebrity. I'm not a professional writer I can't stress that enough im sorry.

He heard the nearby church bell toll deafeningly, making his heart leap out of his concave, non-muscular chest. He was late to his internship at the New York Times! GOD DANG IT! WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO POOR GUYS LIKE HIM>??? He picked up his pace, brushing past both tourists and locals all bundled head to toe in winter gear. His petite button nose had turned a bright cherry red in the biting cold. It wasnt actually biting its just an expression for harsh cold. You guys on here are writers you should know this. Ok. GOD DANG IT HES LATE. get that thru ur head.

Just as his day couldnt get worse, he rounded the corner and his vision went black as days. When he came to, he was lying on the cold hard ground. There was a blurry figure standing over him.. almost like his guardian angel. Was he seeing the light already? HES TOO YOUNG!

"Oh my goooddd! Are you okay sweet pea?" He felt a large, veiny HAND.,, lift him by his limp lankybox wrist off the concrete. He looked down at his thrifted grandpa sweater, which was covered in hot black coffee. "Gahhhh....great. Now my shirt is ruined. Just my luck," he mumbled sarcastically. Then, his gaze drifted upwards.

Before him was a man. (To preface this, YES, Calloway will be engaging in homo-romantic activities. Click off if you disagree with this lifestyle but this is who I am. I want yaoi.)

The man before him was positively strapping, wearing short-shorts despite the cold. His gym bag was slung over his shoulder. He had a sharp, defined jawline that could cut a diamond in half. He had a warm gaze--the color of his eyes were a watered-down hot cocoa brown. The kind you get in elementary school the day before Christmas break but it's just from a packet and it's so obvious but you drink it anyway because your parents just split up and you want Christmas to feel like when you were a kid and your mom and dad still loved each other and you believed in Santa Claus and elf on the shelf.

"God.... you just ruined mt day. And my thrifted grandpa sweater..." Calloway rolled his eyes at the beefy boy who looked similar to Jacob Elordi in Saltburn. Once again, I am so sorry but character descriptions are not my strong suit and I really struggle to write about the physical appearance of a character without "fancasting" them as someone famous. I'm so sorry but all writers struggle with different things.

"The name's Quetzal," said the beefsteak.

Calloway scoffed. "What's your name? It sounds like a typo..."

(Note from Carol: Yes, this is my dream man. I like it when he's a little mean to me...just like my ex-husband)

Quetzal chuckled away the sting of Calloway's words. "My beautiful curvy Latina mom named me this because it means 'Spanish bird' in Spanish. or something."

"Well, it sounds like you're named after a salted twisty pastry," Calloway smirked, "And I bet your mom's not that curvy. Ah.. anyway, I have places to be and people to see. I need to pee.... I spent five dollars on this sweater and TEN dollars on this coffee. That's fifteen dollars total. You've not only sufficiently wasted my money, but you're cutting into my precious time, too."

Quetzal laughed good-naturedly. "That's the price of living in New York, I guess."

Calloway smiled, then slapped himself. Was he seriously letting himself be charmed by this bumbling sweaty gym bro?

"By the way, I like your labubu. Was it from a blind box? Or did you buy it off Etsy?"

Calloway could not let himself be distracted by this so-called "pretzel"'s endless questions. He pulled himself up off the ground, wringing the residual coffee out of his thrifted grandpa sweater while simultaneously waving down a taxi.

"Will I see youy again?" The mixed white-latino Jacob Elordi lookalike asked with a hint of puppy-dog-like sorrow in his eyes.

Calloway looked over his shoulder, "I dont know. New York's a big city." He opened the door to the taxi. "And it was from a blind box, you imbecile!"

Chapter 2: The Coincidence of a Lifetime (TV. the one with all the reality shows onnit)

Calloway rushed into the 67-story building that was his workplace. He distractedly greeted the receptionist then crammed into the crowded elevator, headed for floor 41. He reached over a few shoulders to press the elevator button. He breathed shakily in the uncomfortable silence of the enclosed space, winded after basically running three blocks (the taxi could only take him so far--he was on a budget). All around him, businessmen and women checked their emails and sipped their (non-spilled, ugh) coffee as they all ignored each other. What a strange world we live in. Calloway did not know any of these people, but he saw them every day since he'd accepted the internship and the New York Times. How could that be? How had he not made a single friend during his time here? Maybe he was more tuned-out than he thought.

"Youre late, Hawthorne!!!" His boss yelled as soon as he barged into the meeting room. He found his seat immediately, ducking his head in shame.

"Oh, hey!!! Its you!" said a familiar, slightly gear-turning voice.

Calloway looked to his left at the seat that was usually empty. His eyes snagged on a person he was hoping he'd only have to see once today-- and maybe the rest of his life.

"You cannot be serious," he said under his coffee breath, massaging his temples.

His boss's voice cut through the tension in the room. "Calloway, this is your first and final warning. If you're late like this again, you can say hello to unemployment and a cut off of your healthcare benefits."

"Yes, ma'am," Calloway glared at the exact reason why he was late, then looked apologetically up at to his boss. She was scarily tall. Sometimes he felt like he was in a twisted, modern-day-gender-bent-woke version of The Devil Wears Prada. And his boss did look astonishingly like Meryl Streep. Guys it happened again. I swear its not on purpose please forgive me

"Well, now that everybody's in attendance, I suppose we can start this meeting," his boss said passive aggressively, "Today, we'll be discussing cover art for our next issue. I'm thinking---"

Her spiel was cut off by an alarming ringtone. Calloway's attention was drawn to Quetzal's right thigh. BECAUSE HIS PHONE WAS IN HIS POCKET. HIS PHONE WAS RINGING. PERVERTS.

A Korean pop song played cheerfully from Quetzal's outdated iPhone 6 or 7. It was hard to tell cuz it was in his pocket. "Oh my, oh my God! Yesanghaesseo na..."

Quetzel's face turned fifty shades of red not gray. All eyes were on him as Hanni continued, "I was really hoping that he will come through..." Pretzel was like a deer in headlights... and NewJeans took the wheel. "I'm so sorry," he apologized profusely, reaching into his pocket, "I have to take this. Its Hanni."

"Oh?" Meryl Streep's eyebrow raised suspiciously. "Is that your girlfriend or something?"

"No. It's....my ult bias. I.....I don't have a girlfriend. I don't really want one, honestly. I'm questioning. I started watching The Last of Us Season 2 last night and I'm not even gonna lie to you all like Pedro Pascal is lowkey making me feel some things ahlie?? (He was half Latino-half Torontoian. He just talks like this sometimes and there nothing wrong with it. My name Quet. I scrolling) I just started this new BL Drama called The Untamed and I cant stop binging ts! Xiao Zhan looks so good. My heart cant help but flutter."

"I didnt ask for your life story," says Streep, "but take your call, though I doubt your phone is still ringing wit allat yappin boi!!! 😂✌️ Um chile anyways so."

Calloway rolled his eyes in secret. "So unprofessional," he said quietly. He nonchalantly put his wired earbuds in his ears, blasting The Smiths with Clairo on shuffle. Real music, unlike Quetzies BS girly she/it.

Quetzal left the room for a few minutes as the team discussed their new plans for the newest issue of the Big Apple's most loved magazine. Calloway was just about dozing off to Beabadoobee Scooby-Dooby until the door almost broke off its hinges from Quetzal's strong grip.

"I gotta go, Big Boss," Quetzal apologized shakily. "I need to get ready for the Twice Christmas Comeback Concert in Times Square or I'll be late."

Calloway nudged his coworker to the right of him. "Get a load of this guy," he jeered, "Try saying that five times fast. Heh."

His co-worker, Sandra, looked at him with a peculiar expression on her face. "You're weirdly obsessed with this Quetzal fella," she said, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you have a crush on him."

"WHAT! How dare you. I have no feelings, especially not for those with XY chromosomes in their bodies. I'm a workaholic and my only passion is what I do for a living. My top priorities lie only within my professional life. The only person I want to please is my boss. NOT in that way. In a way that will get me thousands of dollars. End of story. Calloway out."

Big Boss Meryl suddenly stood up, eyes widening like she'd had a stroke. Of genius. Not a real stroke cuz she wasnt that old she was like mid 40s maybe idk. how old is peak meryl streep. Iforgot. Was it when she was in Mamma mia? mustve been. not sure.

"THAT'S IT!!!" she cried. Like literally, there were tears of joy in her Christmas eyes. "The Twice Christmas Comeback Concert in Times Square is the perfect setting for our new issue!" She snapped her head towards Calloway. "Whaddaya say little boy? Sonny..? My angel? You wanna get your cute butt down there and shoot Twice?"

"SHOOT them? Oh, well. Anything to ruin Quetzal's good time. Oh, you mean take pictures of them. I see. Won't be a problem big boss. I'll do anything for you. Within reason. I'm ya number one bootlicka." He had a slight New York accent by the way, but it only came out during fits of passion.

"Im counting on you. Hana dul set!" Meryl winked as the board room cleared out. "Meeting adjourned!"

(((Note from Carol: I'm really loving this boss character, aren't you guys? I think she should have her own spinoff series! Tell me if you want dis in the comment section. (^ > w < ^)(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) | ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ | (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)૮₍ ˶•⤙•˶ ₎ა"(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) me-ow!!)))

Chapter 3: Fool Me Twice, Shame on QUETZAL!

Calloway readied his camera for yet another shooting of Twice, the beautiful Korean idols. Momo belted her heart out in "What is Love," Calloway getting the perfect shot. Just as his camera shuttered, capturing the Christmas moment forever, Quetzal's big dumb empty head took up 90% of the frame.

"JUST MY LUCK," Calloway shook his fist at the Christmas sky. His outburst got Quetzal's attention.

"Ah!!! Mijo! Look what the cat dragged in!" Quetzal turned a full 180, crazy, with his lightstick in his buff hand.

Ah... hes pretty cute... Calloway thought for only a second. EFF! WHY WOULD HE EVEN THINK THAT??? Quetzal was for sure planning this, trying to look all feminine so he could give Calloway The Feels. (by Twice by the way I just wanted to incorporate a few easter eggs you know I got dat elite ball knowledge always trust) Quetzal was a master queer to the baiter. He knew what he was doing in that evil twisted mind of his. Still, he did look kind of endearing holding that picket sign with Nayeon on it.

Calloway caught himself smiling a little. Strangely, he wasn't mad about his shot being ruined. Maybe its better if I dont shoot Twice, thought Calloway. After all, the Twice Christmas Comeback Concert in Times Square seemed to be making Quetzal pretty jolly this Christmasy day. its not christmas yet.

"Hey, get in front of me so you can take some pictures. Id say Chaeyoung is the most photogenic if that helps you in any sort of way," Quetzal beamed and grabbed Calloway by the shoulders, carrying him nearer to the front with ease.

The Twice Christmas Comeback Concert in Times Square came to a satisfying conclusion. The songs, the shots, and the SHOTS of alcolic bevvies made the night FEEL even more SPECIAL. Quetzal broke the silence right when things couldn't have gotten better.

"Hey! Looky here! Ive got two backstage passes with our names written all over em! Whaddaya say, sonny angel?

"What is with everyone saying that to me?" Calloway wondered aloud. "Like, yeah it's fine. Yeah I wanna go backstage with you, but like DANG. I'm not a sonny angel. If anything I'm a rainy devil."

"This would be a great opportunity for us to interview Twice for the NYT! Vámenos, papi!" Quetzal led the confused twink through the crowd until they reached the backstage line.

After a little bit of awkward waiting with a bunch of 12-year-old girls, they peeped Twice waving them into the crammed little room.

Quetzal just about peed himself of excitement. Calloway couldnt hep but let out a sweet chuckle.

"Hola, mis hijas!" He said, greeting the girls like they were old friends of his. He certainly had a very charming, approachable energy to him. Everyone in the room felt slightly more at ease, Twice included, when he spoke.

"Do you want something signed?" Mina asked sweetly, her natural aegyo shining brightly.

"No, actually. We just wanna pull you all for a quick chat. Well, we work for a magazine, you see," Calloway explained. "Maybe youve heard of it? Its called the New York Times. Idk if they have the Seoul Times... but you get the gist."

All of Twice beamed at the same time it was kinda creepy but in a christmas way like the way elves would prolly smile at you. They all accepted, getting in line for their respective interviews.

"So Jeongyeon, tell me, how are you liking New York City? Are there any foods you like in the US?"

"Ummmm... hamburger," Jeongyeon answered simply.

"I like a... I like a Wendy's," Jihyo claimed thoughtfully.

"私はマクドナルドが大好きです、" Sana chimed in.

"すごい、すごい、すごい!" Cal smiled with understanding for the beautiful complex language. He was a little bicurious. Meaning he dabbled in foreign languages. Not men. But maybe. Looking to his right at the stupid beefcake, maybe he was having a bit of a change of heart... and preferences. Wink.

"I just would like to raise a toast, everyone..." Calloway stood up on shaky legs. "I wanna say... ケツァルが大好きです"

I love Quetzal, Calloway confessed in Japanese. Momo, Sana, and Mina gasped. Maybe it was the alc bevvies talking, but right now his heart was swelling as big as Quetzals MUSCLES.

"鳥は？" The bird? Momo asked.

"No... その人..." The person...

"Nani???" Quetzal asked. He had understood every word that came out of that twink's mouth...

TBC...