Goodbye, Heinrich

Goodbye, Heinrich

By. S Greyholt

[Theme: Call of Silence – Sawano Hiroyuki, SennaRin]

TW: Terminal Illness, Death of a Friend, Grief & Loss

His bedside window was frosted over with cold. He was burning hot, yet freezing cold. The blankets simultaneously too much and not enough. He didn’t pay any of those things mind. He simply… watched. Stared out the window, longingly. His mind replaying memories of happier times when he could frolic in the snow and make snow angels. He loved the snow. Dearly, so.

Heinrich laid in bed and watched as puffy buttons of snow fell slowly from the sky. The world was a winter wonderland, and he wanted nothing more than to go play in it. He felt a prisoner in his own body. But as if in defiance of his wishes, his body, for the last several days, had refused to so much as move.

He was heavy. So heavy. And so, so weak.

Was he going to die?

But even asking that question, he found that deep down, he knew the answer.

He was going to die. All in accordance with what he’d learned the second he’d left behind his mountain charge. One hundred years from the time he had left, he would die from the curse which had been activated within him.

It had been… one hundred years since then, after all. His time was up. But… it felt like it had only just begun.

Tears welled up behind his eyes and began to fall. He wanted to go outside. He wanted to play in the snow. He missed Saffron and Graygori.

When he closed his eyes, he could still see them, smiling at him. Why did they have to die…?

Why did anyone have to die?

It made him cry.

Four hundred and seventy-two years of age, and it had gone by in the blink of an eye. Here he was, at the end of it all, and… he wanted more.

Was that so wrong?

His silent tears grew to loud sobs. He wanted to curl into himself and clutch his chest, but he couldn’t muster the strength. He cried and cried until he could hardly breathe and felt as if he’d vomit.

630… the year was 630… he didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to die!

A soft hand wrapped around his. That’s right. He wasn’t alone. His friends had been with him every moment of the last few days. They’d helped him in every way they could. He felt as if he were betraying them by dying. Wasting all their good will.

Erra… he looked into her beautiful, mismatched eyes. She squeezed his hand and offered a smile. She looked like glass… like she might break at any moment… ah, she was so cute…

Lewis stood at the foot of the bed… he didn’t look half-bad himself. He was… handsome. But… Heinrich watched him with tired eyes. His face was… grim. Scary… it was… not comforting.

Heinrich… there were few things he hated more than seeing an expression warped by grief. He… hated suffering. He wanted everyone to be happy. He wanted to be happy… he wanted those he loved to be happy… Everyone… should just… be happy. That was Heinrich’s philosophy.

…

When… when he’d fallen ill, three days ago… he’d let slip about his curse. Lewis had been so mad…

Why hadn’t he told them until now…?

To tell the truth, he didn’t know. No, he did. He didn’t want to worry them. He didn’t want them to be sad. Nothing could be done about it, anyway. He simply had wanted… to enjoy what time he had… without worrying about such inevitable things.

But now they knew… and nothing could be done about that.

At the end of every being’s life was death. But death did not have to be the end. More and more evidence suggested that it in fact, was not the end. Rather, a new beginning. The specifics of course, could not be known… but it gave him some small comfort in these final days.

At the end of every being’s life was death. For the longest time, he, Heinrich Randolph Hintervald, had simply accepted that his would end one hundred years after leaving the Eris-Rahat.

His body seized. A vision flashed before his mind—countless memories from years past as his heart pounded painfully, slowing, starting, speeding up… an ache spread all through his body.

The time they had blown bubbles at the beach. When they’d crossed that awful bridge. Saffron making jokes. Graygori’s sacrifice. Playing in the snow. Being as adventurers together. Eating together, drinking together… When he’d first met them all.

He was crying again… and his eyes widened.

Was that…

“Saff…ron…?” Heinrich rasped. He swore he could see the halfling smiling at him from the foot of the bed, by Erra’s side… His kiddish, beaming smile. The same one he’d worn as he’d… pushed them all away and… saved…

A deep, throaty chuckle. “I’m here too, greensprout!”

“Gray…gori…”

And there that dwarf was… standing beside Lewis… stroking his thick beard of which he was… so proud…

Exactly as he… remembered them.

“C’mon. Let’s go, old timer,” Saffron outstretched his hand from the foot of the bed. Heinrich commanded his arm to move… his hand spasmed.

Erra clasped her hand tighter around it.

“Yes… you’ll… you’ll…” She choked on a sob of her own. “You’ll… see them soon…” Erra could bear to look at him no longer and so buried her face in the blankets and sobbed. Tears wet the blanket, but she made no attempt to stop them.

Lewis’s face crumpled and he buried his face in his hands, sank to his knees, and began to fill the room with sobs of his own.

“Heinrich… please don’t go… don’t leave me too… Please…”

Heinrich smiled sadly.

“I’m sorry… my friend…”

His eyes were growing heavy.

“I’m…”

They began to close.

“So… glad…”

And…

“…that I knew… you… guys…”

Heinrich was gone.

Even in the end, he wore a smile.

In the world beyond the window, snow began to fall in heavy sheets.

Goodbye, Heinrich – THE END