Submitted to: Contest #332

The Floating Fortress

Written in response to: "Set your story before, during, or right after a storm."

Adventure Suspense Thriller

It begins with a storm, and not only a storm, the was a storm over an ocean, and every ship caught in its wrath would face a harrowing fate. Unfortunately for James Howard, who was a sailor on board the HMS Guardian, that was his unfortunate fate. As the thunder roared and the waves crashed, it looked more like something out of a horror novel than from something from real life. Even for a veteran sailor like him, this was a nightmare come to life as he fought to stay aboard the ship and not become thrown overboard by the winds and currents.

As James held on to a rope connected to the sails, he dreaded what would happen if he was thrown overboard. Contrary to popular belief, he was not dreading that he would be eaten by sharks if he was thrown off the ship. He knew that the worst dangers were the currents and waves as they would drag him down to a watery grave. As he hung on for his life, he could see other crewmates desperately holding on to the ship as well. They were screaming and yelling at each other to stabilize the sails as they feared that the wind would rip them off the ship. If that happened, they would be stranded in the middle of the ocean, with the only hope of rescue being a small boat that the ship carried even though the crew was uncertain where they currently were.

As James looked at his crewmates trying to stabilize the ship, he thought of his home. Just a year prior, he was working on his family’s farm in England tending the sheep. It was a peaceful life where he was able to relax most of the time and only work when his father came to inspect him. He thought about his father and how his family might be doing in this moment. He knew that they would probably be happy with the farm, even if the harvest was poor, they still had enough to outlast the hardship.

James also thought about his brother who frequently told him that he wanted to attend a local school that was just built, and how proud he was when his brother told him that he could read as very few people in his family could. James told himself that if he ever visited the family farm again, he would tell his brother about his adventures, and hope that his brother would record them to tell to other family members. James and his brother, Albert, were close and James was the one who encouraged Albert to go to and finish school.

The ship James travelled one was a military vessel, and the captain chose a particularly risky path in order to intercept a group of enemy ships, which they suspected were part of a fleet trying to invade England, and it was their duty to stop them, even if it meant throwing themselves in grave danger. They had been warned about his peril for weeks now, but James, being overconfident in his youth, believed that there wasn’t too much danger in this path, or at least not anything that he couldn’t overcome. Now, he was not only wondering if he made the wrong decision, but whether or not he would ever see his family again.

During this moment as James hung on for dear life, he said a prayer, “Dear God,” he said, “if I ever survive this ordeal, I promise that I will always cherish veery moment I spend with my family.” Memories of his family flashed before his eyes as he also thought about his regrets. “Dear God, I promise that I will apologize to my father and mother or enlisting without telling them as I know that it hurt them very much that I left for the navy.” James had told his family that he was joining the crew of a merchant ship, which comforted them as they didn’t have to worry about their son facing too much danger.

As the storm raged on, a thunderstorm was breaking out nearby where the other sailors could see it raging at a distance, btu also one that was quickly closing in. Some of the sailors began to panic as they believed that the thunder would tear down the sails and cripple their ships. They had maps, but they weren’t very reliable and they knew that if they were stranded at sea, their chances of survival weren’t very high. Seeing that his crew was beginning to panic, the captain yelled at them to maintain their positions.

“Stay at your posts,” yelled the captain, “anyone who breaks rank will be punished with half rations.” The crew for a moment was paralyzed with fear, but ultimately decided to remain at their posts as they knew the captain would punish them if they tried to run and hide. The storm continued to rage, and the captain directed his men to lead the ship away from the thunderstorm. “Steer away from the storm you dogs, unless you want to end up as food for the sharks.” The crew then obeyed as they continued to main their posts despite the pouring rain and raging winds. James was among them, knowing that it was his best chance of surviving the storm and returning to his family.

As the storm raged on, buckets and pots were flown all over the ship to the point that sailors had to duck to avoid them hitting them in the head. One unfortunate sailor was hit in the head with a pot and was briefly stunned before the captain came to hi and slapped him. “Lose your senses now boy,” he said, “and you will be thrown overboard for the sharks.” The poor sailor quickly obeyed and went back to his post. James saw everything from how the storm tortured his crewmates to the storm of equipment being thrown around. He thought about what he would tell his brother if he managed to survive this harrowing ordeal.

At one point, the storm became so bad that one of the sailors was thrown overboard as the ship was being bashed at all sides by the waves. The crew screamed as the poor sailor met a watery grave as some of them tried, in vain, to help him. When they couldn’t do so, the captain berated them for leaving their posts. “Are you deaf you lousy dogs,” he said, “get back to your post, or I will have you thrown overboard myself.” The crew, more afraid of the captain now than the storm, went back to their posts. The man’s first name was Alex, and that was the only thing that his crewmates knew about him.

As the ship neared the thunderstorm, the sailors tried in desperation to steer it away from it as they knew if the ship entered the thunderstorm, the likelihood that it would leave intact was low. It took the entire strength of the crew to steer the ship out of harm’s way, but the crew didn’t have anytime to rest as the storm continued to rage on and had to spend the night toiling in order to steer the ship to safety. Even afterwards, they weren’t allowed to rest as the captain demanded that they continue to look after the ship to find any damages or missing items. As James went about his duties without any sleep, he told himself, “if I ever get back home, I don’t know what story I will tell my brother.”

Daylight finally broke the next day as the crew were exhausted and sore from the ordeal. Even so the crew had duties, and continued to do so on very little sleep. Unfortunately, most of their rations were also soaked and damaged during the storm, meaning that their food supply dwindled and that they would have much less to eat later on. The crew continued to groan and complain behind the captain’s back with only the peace of a calm ocean offering any sort of respite to them.

The next day, James was writing as he could write a little and kept a journal close by which thankfully, survived the storm. As he was writing, he thought of the story that he wanted to tell when he got home. “The story about how the HMS Guardian survived a storm,” he wrote, “about how the crewmates led her to safety despite a cruel and inept captain in charge of the ship.”

Posted Dec 13, 2025
Share:

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

1 like 2 comments

P. H. Trix
01:51 Dec 18, 2025

Hello Matthew! I'm in your critique circle and I'm new to the community.

You have some very solid bones here. The premise is good, as well as the anxiety hinted at with the hiding the truth from his parents as well as wondering how to tell his brother about his adventures on the high seas. Not to mention the storm itself as a threat in which did claim a man’s life and the cool captain and the underlying annoyance with how cold he is. Well done!

I offer the following as kind, constructive criticism in hopes to give you something to ponder as humble suggestions:

- You may want to read your story to yourself out loud. This will catch errors and typos as you read it.
- This may be a stylistic thing, but there's a lot of distance between the characters and the reader (or so it felt to me). Maybe including sensory detail (i.e. the salt spray stung at his eyes, the pitch and roll of the ship made his stomach flip with it, the thunder and cracking lightning stealing focus or yells towards the lost crewman being lost in the torrent of sound....etc.) can help draw the reader more into the moment.
- Consider varying your paragraph starts. Many of them started with "As" (5/13 if I counted correctly, and 2 of which had "As the storm raged on"). It makes it a little redundant or feels like we haven't really moved forward in the story itself.

All that aside, I stand by it's a good premise and is consistent throughout. Hope this helps! Keep it up!

Reply

RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. All for free.