The Familiar Cat

Well good evening to you, I am glad to see that my fame has finally been recognised. I suppose you’re here so that I may recount my tale of how I came to be a witch’s familiar and what my everyday life looks like.

My apologies. I thought that I would start with a joke however I have reflected on my actions and wish to revoke my tail pun as I do not believe that we cats are ready to enter the comedy scene just yet.

Now, as I was saying, I am the witch’s familiar. This is a title that comes with a lot of work on my part. I believe the work I do is important and one day I will come to understand exactly what it is we do. For now I am happy being the legendary icon of the witch’s familiar or perhaps technically her second familiar as I may have eaten my predecessor. Honestly, how she thought a rat would make a good familiar boggles the mind.

The witch is a very lucky woman. It's lucky that I showed up when I did as her hut was swarming with rats. Although, thinking about it now, I feel as though this may have been intentional. Regardless, the life of a witch’s familiar is not an easy one so follow me back to the hut as I show you a day in my life. I promise the rats are gone, you needn’t worry you big scaredy cat.

Well, it seems as though the witch isn’t home. She usually brings me along on her travels but she must know how busy I am. Such a brave woman, venturing into the world alone. She can be rather isolated from her fellow humans and should they ever visit her they seem to disappear forever. I myself can’t make heads nor tails as to where they go or why their disappearance is blamed on the witch. She’s nothing but kind to those who arrive on our doorstep. She offers them food, beverages, her bubbly drink and curiously, that’s the last anyone sees of them. This leaves the poor witch to cackle in sadness as I take care of our seemingly unending rat problem. It’s almost as though, whenever we have human company, the rats make an appearance. It's a real head-scratcher alright.

Back to my workload for the day, well seeing as the witch is out, I doubt she would mind if I gave a little tour of the hut. Well let’s start with the room behind the curtains. This room is where the witch spends all of her time. It features sturdy shelves that have jars full of various strange items within them. They are typically full of herbs, bones, and eyes but to each their own I suppose. The highlight of this room is this large bowl-like thing I can’t quite recall what the witch calls it but this is where she stirs her big spoon in the bubble water and makes drinks for her guests. I'm sure she will make some for you if you stick around long enough. Then in the main room is the fireplace and the witch's cooking pot. I don’t know much about what she puts in the cooking pot but that woman is magical when it comes to food. I often think she would do well opening up a tavern with her charm and cooking but she is set in her ways, I suppose.

There isn’t really much else to see in here, we have some chairs and a bed which was made by the local woodworker but I heard that after he helped the witch even he disappeared. I’ve heard around the village that his son has taken up woodworking so maybe I should bring him around to spruce the place up a bit for our guests. I believe that concludes the tour. It is a simple abode but I have grown to like it and can’t imagine myself anywhere else for the time being. If I were to have one complaint, I must admit that life would be much easier if we lived closer to the neighbouring town or even within it. I fear that when I decide to change professions down the line the witch will get ever so lonely.

I suppose I haven’t really gone too in depth as to what an average day looks like for us here in the Withering Woods. Well for starters the witch isn’t really a morning person so while she is busy snoring the hut down I get our work ready for the day. The witch always needs a guest to keep her busy. She goes a bit stir-crazy without someone to talk to. I make it my priority to scout for anyone who might make good company for the witch, carefully avoiding scarier parts of the woods on my way to town. When I get into town I try to stay out of people’s way. It has come to my attention that the townsfolk have come to see me as a sign of bad luck which is completely uncalled for. I am simply out in town trying to do some charity work and help an old woman make some friends in her old age.

My reputation makes it difficult to bring people over to the hut but as you can attest yourself I have my charm about me and my cute cat eyes always do the trick. I try to snatch some food around town if there is anything just laying around. I sometimes get lucky by going through human junk and catching myself a nice half-eaten fish. I of course have to have a long nap after food then I am back out on the prowl to find some friendly faces that would follow me back home. I am not always successful and on those days where I fail I work hard sleeping in the hut making sure the witch has company, it is tiring work.

Today I am very happy that you came back with me but it’s typical that today of all days she decides not to have a lie-in. Do not be saddened by this as I am great at keeping guests entertained with stories and of course my cute fluffy appearance is of great help. Oh, by the sounds of it, we already have some guests arriving, no need to look at the door as these guests can simply enter through the walls. As you can see these guests are similar to human guests however these guests are nearly invisible and can fly around the place. Their faces can be difficult to comprehend but I oftentimes wonder if I might have seen them before but I can’t quite say again I try to not worry myself about such trivial things. You seem unsettled by our new guests. Well, worry not, my final job of the evening is to make sure these guests don’t overstay their welcome. I find that chasing them like this is a playful way of letting these guests know that they should be on their way back home. See, this job always keeps me busy.

I do wish I could have gone with the witch this evening as I must say it is such fun flying through the night sky. You seem confused by that statement so let me explain, the witch uses something she calls a magical ointment on her broom to allow her flight in the sky. She simply takes off on her broom, and away she goes. I sometimes join her on her little nighttime adventures to keep her company however I must admit I do have an ulterior motive. I aim to understand what it is like to fly so that I can better comprehend how my enemies travel which will allow me to take them down with ease. Those winged beasts do nothing but taunt me from the skies but we shall see who gets the last laugh when I get my paws on some of that ointment.

What exactly was I talking about again? Oh yes! The witch’s adventures at night. That woman really does come alive in the night as oftentimes she flies around the night sky, cackling without a care in the world. She tends to gather items for her jars throughout the woods or even sometimes within the town, it’s nice to see her within the town walls stretching her legs and socialising. I believe the witch has made it her dream to become some kind of saviour to the people of this town. She can be seen trying to hand out her bubbly drinks to anyone that doesn’t run screaming her name. One day I can see the humans of this town coming over to our hut with pitchforks as they might not have a suitable place to leave it within the village and torches due to the darkness within the Withering Woods and they shall chant the witch’s name. Ah! What a day that would be! I really do hope these humans come to appreciate her kindness.

It doesn’t happen often, perhaps maybe once a year but the witch flies us far far away to a place hidden atop a mountain. I believe this to be some kind of family gathering however I do wonder how one woman could have so many sisters. They all seem to dress the same and each has a familiar of their own. I do dread these gatherings as there are many familiars that seem capable of doing to me what I did to the former witch’s familiar. I do often think that my role as familiar could be taken away should a creature arrive at our doorstep and eat me, however I hope to change professions before something like that were to happen. The sisters seem to have a party where they dance and feast, it seems to get the witch in a great mood. I on the other hand spend my time during this family gathering trying to survive my fellow colleagues for the night.

I believe that concludes the life of a witch’s familiar, it can at times be challenging and tiring but the meals I get far exceed the work that I put in. I can’t imagine what the witch gets up to when I'm not around. Even when I am, I can’t quite understand her. It seems as though there are always new bones to be found around the house, that witch can be so messy. She also has her strange little habits: long hours spent stirring her big bowl of bubbly water, chanting in rhyme, sometimes reciting names that sound oddly familiar. But if you want to hear her side of things, I think you’ll have the chance as I believe I can hear her outside. She must be back from her outings earlier than usual.

Oh, no need to look so worried, she will be delighted to see you! Ah, see what did I tell you? Look at the smile on her face as she entered the hut. See how she waves her hand at the door when we have company? The door never seems to open when she does that, isn't that strange? Perhaps I need to get the woodworker’s son here sooner rather than later to fix that thing.

It has been ever so tiring keeping you entertained and I believe a well-deserved catnap is in order. I will leave you two to chat. She has been perfecting her bubbly drink all week, so do be polite and have a sip. Oh, and please don’t drag any rats into the house during your stay! I don't need to remind you of the headache it is to catch them.