After the beep

It was my first Christmas with my whole family in a long time. Myself, my mom, my dad and my older sister. We were all going to be together for Christmas. My older sister had gone to college and I hadn’t seen her in a year or so. I wish I could say it felt like forever but it honestly just felt like something that happened. I cried when she left for a few hours but then the next day life continued. I felt like my life was gonna freeze like every thing was going to fall apart. Yet the next morning my day was much the same. I woke up and I walked to school. I took the same classes, in the same order. Then I walked home and passed the same houses I did every day. I got home made a snack and sat down at the table. Across from me was the spot that my sister would normally sit. I already knew what I would have told her the small things that had happened in my day. The way I heard a new song from an artist we both liked. Then I felt my phone start to ring it was my sister. She called me and I told her about the song. She told me about her dorm and the posters she put up. How she was excited and scared how she planed to call me every day. Then the next day she called me. For a bit it seemed like not too much would change. I could picture her sitting across the table from me while I heard her voice on the phone. I missed having her warmth in the room but I could handle hearing the happiness in her voice. The way she would laugh so hard she would snort. Even over the phone she could bring warmth to a whole room. Then slowly bit by bit the warmth dissipated. She called less and less and my days became more cloudy. When she did pick up I felt like I was getting page note updates about her life. She would mention a new boyfriend that she had had for months. I wouldn’t get to hear about the first date while she giggled about how he got her flowers. I just got the update that she had a boyfriend three months late. Then she called even less and I would call her and she very rarely picked up. Voicemail became how I told her about my day. After the beep, I would tell her about my day. While I sat across from her chair. I was excited to see her again and to feel the warmth she brings. She was driving herself from her college down to see us. She told me that she would never miss a Christmas with me. Even as far as she was she new how much it meant to me to have her here. When I was younger I was always so excited for Christmas that I could never sleep. I was riddled with excitement and anxiety. So my sister started doing spa nights. We would get matching pajamas and face masks and do our nails. We would talk for hours until I fell asleep. We talked about anything. The one thing we always talked about without fail was what we thought we were gonna get for Christmas. Then on Christmas I always woke up with a smile on my face. She has already picked out our matching pajamas. They were red pajamas with white hearts. Mine had arrived all wrapped up as an early gift. I wore them that whole day Christmas Eve. I put them on the first thing in the morning. I could feel her warmth when I did. She always used lemon scented dryer sheets and I could tell she used them on my new pajamas. I let her warmth wrap me while I waited for her to arrive. She was supposed to get there early evening. The whole day I spent making sure it would be the best Christmas. I made cookies just the way she liked them. I made sure all the bows had gifts. Then I just waited to be surrounded by her warmth. I sat in the living room waiting with my parents. All of us waiting with excited smiles. Then there was a knock on the door. My mom just about ran to the door and swung it open. Her eyes were full of excitement and her arms were already open for a hug. Then I watched as she fell to her knees arms still open. Dad rounded the corner and helped pull my mom up to her feet. She leaned on the wall still not strong enough to stand on her own. Then dad walked towards me and handed me my sister locket. His hands were shaking as he dropped the locket in my hand. The locket felt cold and wet. Inside was a photo of me and her. More striking then the photo was the blood on the locket and the way it felt like ice in my hand. I ran to my phone and called her. All I heard was after the beep leave your message. So I left my last message that my sister would never hear. I told her I didn’t want her locket as a Christmas gift. That I wanted her I wanted my sun back.I wanted to hear her laughter and about the small things I wanted her to call me every day and tell me about what songs she liked. I wanted to hear about who she has a crush on before she even went on a date with them. I wanted to smell the lemon on her clothes when she hugged me. I wanted to do our spa routine and talk into the early morning. I wanted no more cloudy days but my sun had been taken and it would come back. I was just left with a cold locket.