Sophie's Choice For A New Subaru Outback

CW: Extreme violence, implied sexual coercion, phsychological distress

"Tonight on Live or Die, our contestant, Johnny Romine, must spin the wheel one final time before going home with a brand new Subaru Outback and a reduced prison sentence. The Subaru can be any color he wants, folks, and any model. Alright, Johnny! You know what to do!" and in unison with the audience, Ken Parker, a prodigy of Pat Sajak's, works up the crowd by pumping his fist and shouting into his microphone, "SPIN THAT WHEEL!"

Johnny Romine wasn't sure if he wanted to spin the wheel anymore. That he'd rather serve the remaining five years of his time, but that new Subaru Outback in blue looked good.

There were few options left on the wheel, and there wasn't one he aimed for. He's a bald, towering figure with large, tattoo-less arms and a goatee. He was arrested for punching a cop in the face after his old lady told him she was going to get a DUI or, as Officer Urbanski suggested to her, let her off the hook in exchange for sexual favors. She texted Johnny, and within two minutes, he was there on his chopper, running over his feet, and knocking him out with one punch. The only problem was that Johnny was on parole for bringing meth into the US from Mexico. He had seen Easy Rider enough times to think they would not check the gas tank, but that was the first place they looked, and then slashed his tires for good measure. To make things worse, he found out Officer Urbanski and his ex were lovers and were working together to get rid of him. Urbanski told her he'd take one on the nose for her, and the following three years, Johnny Romine wrote Phil Urbanski is a fat pig on his cell wall, but that landed him in solitary confinement for a week. He was released a week later when some TV producers toured the prison and asked Johnny if he'd like to appear on Live or Die. He agreed to anything.

Johnny spun the wheel, hoping to receive three slapshots from an NHL player without any pads or helmet, and the puck must hit him, or it didn't count, but the wheel landed on Sophie's Choice, the one he piece of the pie he never saw.

"Uh-oh," said Ken Parker, slightly tilting his head and widening his eyes just like when he got his start doing kids' birthday parties. He turned to the audience and leaned over, giving the impression that only they could hear what he had to say into the microphone.

"Looks like someone might be going back to jail, haha!"

His blue suit and pink button-up are common amongst those who grew up in Indiana or Iowa, and landed their dream job in Burbank, California, but all the ladies in the front row could smell only his cologne. His hair is the same color as dry wheat, and his eyes are ayran blue. He likes to boast about being part of the last graduating class to be predominantly white at his high school. He turns to Johnny with a somber expression and walks slowly. He is happy the contestant has restraints on all four of his limbs and places his cold hand on Johnny’s warm, exposed shoulder. "This is going to be tough, but look at that Subaru, and we got you a blue one."

Johnny leans over to his mic-stand and speaks into it like he's on his toes.

"That is correct."

His voice is deep, and Ken Parker is very happy—the applause sign flashes.

"Well, do you want to meet our Sophie's Choices!" he shouts.

The audience: "YES!"

"Behind door number one, Johnny's oldest son, Benji! Let's give Benji a round of applause!"

The seven-year-old is also shackled and has yet to look up at anyone or anything but his Converse sneakers. He sports a bowl cut and a dash of freckles across his nose and cheeks. He's sobbing and has been all day, but is doing his best not to embarrass himself on live TV, though he is not sure what that is.

"Benji told us he is seven, going on eight, and hopes to one day become a firefighter! Hope his father picks him to live!"

A round of applause from the audience.

"Behind door two is Megan! Johnny's next-door neighbor. A single mother." The crowd cuts him off to boo. "A mother of five!” Ken whispers to the crowd in his mic. "Talk about a welfare queen, am I right or am I right?"

There is an eruption of laughter.

"And finally, behind door three is the newest addition to the family, Emily! Born eight months ago, the daughter of his ex and the police officer he punched in the face. Let's hear it for the baby, Emily!"

Another raucous round of applause.

Ken turns to Johnny and asks, "Have you even seen Sophie's Choice?"

He says he hasn't, but he hopes to one day.

Ken Parker side-eyes his contestant.

"Let's hope so, big guy, because if you fail to pick two of these individuals to be sent to a gas chamber, it is you who," and he turns to the audience and points. In unison, they shout, "LIVE OR DIE!"

Without being asked who to choose, Johnny leans into his mic and says, "My son and the baby." The audience gasps. Even Ken Parker looks a bit perplexed. “Send them to the gas chamber."

"You're not even going to think about it? I understand the baby, but your own son?" asks Ken.

Johnny leans forward.

"Yep."

The producer speaks into Ken Parker's earpiece, and they announce a commercial break. He turns to Johnny and goes, "What gives? We still have twenty minutes to fill!" A door slams behind him. "Tony! Talk some sense into this guy. Look, your son is crying!"

Tony is the producer. No one knows his last name, but everyone thinks he looks like he should always be staring at eight monitors or producing all the Planet of the Apes sequels. He gets in Johnny's face. They're from the same part of Coney Island.

“Are you some goddam psychopath? I remember kids like you on the playground—big idiots who are going to have many children and turn to a life of crime. Your kid is balling his eyes out over there. Look at em'."

He does. Benji still has not looked up.

"Yeah, I chose him."

"What gives?"

"The Subaru."

"You don't even care about getting out of prison?"

"That's a nice-looking car. It's a good blue."

Tony and Johnny look each other in the eyes. The producer sees how serious this neanderthal is about the car. He turns to Ken. "Take away the vehicle. Chalk it up to some disqualification for answering early and without being asked."

"What!" shouts Johnny.

"Yes, sir, boss," says Ken.

Over the intercom, they begin to count down from a live commercial break.

“5,4,3,2,1!”

"Alright, folks, welcome back. I'm your host, Ken Parker," and he points to the audience with a smile that is as forced as Johnny's current predicament. "And this is?"

"LIVE OR DIE!"

A spotlight falls on Ken Parker as the brand-new Subaru is whisked away.

"I have some rather unfortunate news, folks. Word has just gotten back from our sponsors that because Johnny did not wait to select who will go to the gas chamber, they have withdrawn the brand new Subaru Outback."

Johnny leans into the mic.

"That's not fair! What am I playing for then?"

Ken raises an eyebrow and slowly turns around.

"Your freedom, buddy."

The audience sucks in some air and places their hand over their chest.

"But what is freedom?" asks the contestant.

Ken grins and looks to the audience, "Um, how about not being in jail, guy!"

"My son died while I was in prison, and this replicant of a memory is broken while the only human is chained, Meg. A mother. Why is Meg chained? What did she do besides love her five human children? And that baby is not my old lady's. It's no one's."

Ken walks to Johnny and keeps his microphone down.

“Listen, pal. I'm going to see to it that you get sent to the gas chamber downstairs if you don't start playing along," before turning back to the audience and asking, "What do you think is fair?" before recognizing his folly as Tony blows up his eardrum.

"You never leave the decision to a crowd! They are susceptible to whims, charisma, and changes in the weather! They applaud when we say applaud! They shout 'Live or Die 'when you point at them. Capeshe?"

Johnny looks out at all the different faces, and a strange phenomenon occurs to which he knows no word. No one does. He looks at the 200 tourists, TV enthusiasts, and mashes them into one person, and behind the single representation of the crowd, he sees the people he cares about, or should care about, in this life. He's sick of this game and declares that without the new Subaru Outback, he chooses to die. He has lived enough, and would rather let a memory, a mother, and a random baby live than the possibility of him getting out of jail in a sweet, blue ride, but he's not even going back to jail. He shouts in Death's face, "I'm free," and looks right into the holes of its empty skull.