A Month of Vigil

"Don't worry, baby, I'll be there soon." He texted me after work. He's been so excited all day, saying he's got something to tell me. As soon as I opened the door, he barged in.

"What do you have there?" I asked, grinning at him. Suddenly, in a flash, I realized he had a bouquet of my favorite flowers.

"I got the promotion!" He yelled excitedly. Overjoyed for him, I leaped into his arms, wrapping my hands around his neck.

"That's amazing, hun!" I gave him a kiss. We spent the rest of the evening celebrating. Dinner, a trip to the arcade, cuddling on the couch, drowning in snacks, and finally falling asleep entangled together.

Day 2: Shortly after falling asleep, I woke up needing to use the bathroom, and when I returned, I noticed the room was too quiet. I crawled into bed and kissed him on the cheek, and that's when I realized the silence. I called the police, and within minutes, he's being rushed to the hospital.

"I'm not sure exactly what to call it, miss." The doctor whispers to me just outside the room, hours later. My chest is tight with anticipation and anxiety.

"He has a rare condition we've never seen before, but to keep it short. If he falls asleep again, he will die. Something is happening that when asleep, his brain shuts down, cutting off any blood flow to it." The words hit like a truck. I collapsed to my knees, unable to breathe. I asked if there was anything we could do, but the doctor's silence told me everything.

"Hey, baby." He says when I shuffled slowly into the room. His casual tone caught me off guard, like our world didn't just fall apart. That was one reason I loved him. No matter how dire or depressing a situation was, he was always so cheerful and caring. He always said it was because 'No queen can be upset when they have a kingdom to rule.' He knew the saying always made me happy because his gaming tag was 'Sun_Kingdom.' He had changed it to that just for me.

"D... did they explain it to you?" I asked him, my voice was hoarse from crying. "They said-"

"I know, baby," he cut me off, noticing how exhausted my voice was. "I guess I won't need that promotion." He laughed, making light of the situation. I didn't even know how to react.

Day 6: The hospital decided to keep him a few days, hoping to monitor his sleep and discover the issue. They would forcibly wake him when his vitals dropped too low. After days of testing, he decided to get released.

"Finally." He chuckled. "I was getting so sick of the food in there." I giggled at his complaints as if those were the biggest worries we had. We drove him listening to the music he chose. I couldn't help but spoil him with anything I could.

"What do you want to do today?" He asked as we pulled into a Burger King drive-thru.

"Burger King? Really?" I had laughed at his choice

"With all the crying you've done, you need the protein." He laughed, poking my cheek like he always did when making fun of me. Something I adored the most, his desire to just touch me was one of my favorite things about him. Holding my thigh while driving, wrapping his arm around my shoulders when we walked, just sitting on the couch he'd press his thigh to mine. Even when going to a restaurant, he would tap my foot and make me set my foot on top of his. We sat in the trunk of his car while we ate, just enjoying the bright sky and cool wind, something we couldn't experience while in the hospital recently.

"Let's go to an amusement park tomorrow," He suggested.

"An amusement park?" I asked, confused at the spontaneous idea, but that was so like him. Random road trips to the state over for 'sightseeing', late-night trips to the diner because of 'pregnancy cravings', flowers, makeup, snacks, and any other random gift for 'sacrifices to The Moon Queen.' All of his excuses were just as ridiculous as the spontaneous gestures themselves, but I loved the title; it made me sound like a D&D character. I agreed to go to the amusement park because how can I say no to those big brown puppy eyes?

Day 7: I woke up that morning to the smell of breakfast. My hair was a tangled mess, and my clothes half falling off and twisted from sleep, when I walked into the kitchen to see him showered dressed, making breakfast.

"Good morning, sleepy head," he said. His voice wasn't even low or tired.

"Did you even sleep?" I asked him, knowing the answer already.

"Of course not, but luckily for me, I've always been a night owl, so this is nothing." he plated our breakfast and guided me to a chair. He sat beside me, his knee against mine as we ate. "Today is the amusement park, I'm so excited," he said with a mouthful of pancakes. We made it to the park around noon, and I can tell the exhaustion was hitting him. As he opened my car door, he missed the handle twice before gripping it, but his smile was still as bright as the midday sun.

"We're not leaving until you win me one of those big ass bears that are the same size as me." I commanded. He rested his hand on my head,

"So a normal-sized teddy bear then?" He mocked me. The punch to his arm was well deserved if I do say so myself. "Don't worry, my Moon Queen, I will win you anything you want today." He said it in that terrible British accent he uses when he pretends to be a knight. Something I never thought I'd miss. We had to leave the park four times to put all of our prizes in the car, especially that giant ass teddy bear I wanted, which only took him six tries to get. He was too stubborn. After riding all of the rides and stuffing our faces with overpriced junk food, we watched the fireworks show they had that evening.

Day 14: The circles in his eyes had darkened again, I noted, sat across from him at the diner. He had been awake for roughly a week.

'I'm going to stay awake for as long as I can so I can enjoy every second with you.' That was his decision at the end of our argument; he wouldn't take no for an answer, no matter how much I protested, watching him deteriorate every night. He came up with an idea for me to help him. He would watch TV all night while I slept in his lap. The entire night, he would rub my head, face, shoulders, or back, knowing that the sensation always helped me sleep. When he would start to doze off, his movements would stop, and somehow I subconsciously felt it and would wake up instantly to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep. Every time he would apologize for waking me up and kiss me to go back to sleep. All I could think was 'worry about yourself, dammit.'

"Let's get married," he said excitedly, his voice was lower than usual. At that point, it was all his strength to speak. The sudden proposal snapped me back to the diner, out of my memories from the last week.

"What?" I nearly choke on my water. He laughed, a genuine belly laugh that I haven't heard since the amusement park.

"Let's get married. I can't stay awake forever, so I want to live the rest of my life with you." I couldn't hold back my tears. They flowed like a dam being demolished. My dream for the last three years had been to marry this man, but I never expected it under these circumstances. My tears were a mix of joy and anguish. I couldn't even choke out the word 'Yes', all I could do was nod my head like a little girl.

"We're going to have the wedding and honeymoon you've always wanted." He promised, but I wasn't sure if that would be possible with such little time we had.

Day 15: We went ring shopping, looking at some of the most beautiful and intricately designed engagement and wedding rings I had ever seen. There was one in a special case I noticed right away that was perfect. The diamond on it sparkled like a clear night sky, a dark purple, almost black gem spoke to me. I had to have that one, and thankfully, it fit perfectly. He found a black ring that suited my diamond perfectly, so of course we had to get it. I practically danced out of the store, holding my hand to the sky to watch the sun reflect off it.

Day 20: A few days after buying the rings, I woke up to a note on our bedside, but he was nowhere to be found.

'It's our wedding day. Flip this over and follow the directions to find me.' The note read, and on the back side was a list of instructions.

First, I met up with my parents at a cafe. We had brunch and caught up since it's been a few months since I've seen them. They were clearly in on the plans for today, so I was even more excited to see them

Second, I went to 'Sarah's', the salon I frequented, where my four best friends were waiting, and we all got our hair, nails, and makeup done perfectly. The afternoon was filled with laughter as we got pampered

Third, my very best friend from high school, Kai, took me to pick up my wedding dress. I didn't know I had one, but it was the most beautiful purple dress. Something out of a dream that Tinkerbell would wear only my favorite color.

Fourth, I arrived at the venue blindfolded. My father's voice startled me as he took my arm I heard a loud wooden door creak open, and then the blindfold was removed. As my eyes adjusted from the darkness, I realized I was in the fantasy of my dreams. I was first met with the stares of family and friends, all dressed up in medieval fantasy attire. Bards, witches, warriors, wizards, knights, and anything else you could think of. Next, the decor, the entire venue was decorated in lights to appear like fairies floating above us, flower gardens, and magical fountains of multiple colors flowing around us. Down the middle of the venue was a pathway made of water leading to the altar where he stood dressed as a knight. A formal suit with a sword at his side. Everything is exactly as I imagined. My father nudged me and gestured to my heels. I kicked them off, and we walked through the stream pathway to the altar, where two platforms sat for us to stand. It appeared as if we were standing on water, which made the moment even more magical.

"How?" is all I can whisper to him, speechless from everything around

"I've had everything planned for months," he admitted. 'Months,' the word echoed in my head. Pieces coming together that explained how the ring was exactly what I wanted and why it fit so perfectly. I teared up instantly, realizing how long he had been planning to marry me. The wedding was perfect; everyone was barefoot as we danced, laughed, ate, and cried together in the gardens throughout the night.

Day 22: We walked through the park, enjoying the afternoon air, when we heard a cry. A boy had lost his mother and was curled up by a lamp post, crying. Despite his muscle fatigue, he rushed over to him and crouched down, asking him if he was okay. He explained what happened, and we helped him find his mother. After getting him food, of course, because 'crying takes a lot of energy out of you,' he told him, but couldn't help but glance at me when he said it; he loves to throw it in my face. After about an hour, we found his mother and returned him safely.

"I guess that can count as having our own kid," he laughed as we waved goodbye to them. My hand freezes in the air, startled by his words. 'I wish we could have a son. A miniature version of us, your attitude with my beauty would've been the perfect human.' He had whispered that in my ear during our final dance at the wedding, which had absolutely destroyed my makeup, of course.

Day 24: He had quit his job about a week prior. 'I'd like to retire before I die' was his excuse, which, despite his weak and sickly frame, he said joyfully, making all of his coworkers burst out laughing. They decided to throw him a retirement party instead. They all showed up at the house while we were out to breakfast, and decorated the entire place for it. As we walked back in, they cheered with beers in their hands, handing each of us one as he stood shocked by the surprise.

"Beer? It's not even noon yet!" I protested in disgust until he looked at me, holding his up.

"Not like it's going to kill me!" He laughed and then chugged his mug in a single swig. The men laughed and cheered around him. His joke stings in my chest as I watch him grab another cup. At that point, I had my sense of taste; everything I ate tasted bland. My stomach was always full and empty at the same time, and my chest was in a constant state of tension. But I wasn't going to let that ruin his retirement party. Even his boss was there, who handed him a very generous check. The envelope addressed to his promotional title was to confirm they had given him the promotion anyway, despite his young age of 25 and sudden retirement. He handed the check to me with a big smile, saying, 'Let's travel to Europe.'

Day 30: It's been almost a month now since we left the hospital. He's been bed-bound for the last three days, and I'm not sure how much more he could take. He looks like the skeleton of a muscular knight I once knew. But his eyes defy the impending doom. Those big, brown, caring eyes I fell in love with hold strong to life. His voice was just above a whisper as we spoke. I sat in a chair at his side, holding his thin, bony hands.

"My Moon Queen," he whispers, barely able to turn his head to me. "Don't cry, we lived the perfect life together." I look up at him through watered eyes. "Whoa, you look worse than me. Why don't you come to bed with me?" he let out a weak, soft laugh. I rub tears from the dark circles and puffy red marks around my eyes, then crawl up into bed with him, nestling under his arm and laying my head on his chest.

"Perfect life, My Sun King?" I asked, listening to his raspy, labored breathing.

"Yes, my love. We won that big ass teddy bear you wanted." I smiled, staring at it sitting in the corner of the room. "We got married, had the perfect dream wedding. We even found our lost Star Prince with your attitude." I can tell he was smiling by the sound of his voice, so I tapped his chest playfully, annoyed. "Plus, I got the promotion anyway and was able to retire before I got too old." I was practically drowning his shirt in tears now. I hear him sniffle and look up to see tears spilling from his eyes. "I love you so much. Three years were not long enough to express how much you meant to me. Your eyes are the moonlight in the darkness of my mind, guiding me. Your voice is the sound of an angel soothing my heart, no matter how stressed or tired I am. Your heartbeat is the melody of life, nesting my soul in warmth and love. You are everything to me, my love, my life, my motivation, and my reason. I wouldn't have been able to do this without you, and for that, thank you, my Moon Queen. My Love." His voice cracked as he said everything choked through tears and fatigue. "Let's both go to sleep now." A long pause hangs in the air. "I think we've both earned it." No more arguments about it, the decision is entirely his now. I can't force this living nightmare on him any longer.

I lay my head on his chest as it slowly rises and falls with his breathing. After a couple of minutes, I hear him snoring softly, a sound I have not heard in weeks. Then silence, my ear on his chest confirmed the finality. The silence spoke to me. No more arguments over what snacks to eat for no more movie nights. No more spontaneous trips to other states, or gifts, or surprises. No more kisses or hugs. The warmth of my world was literally fading away beneath me.

"Goodnight..." was all I could choke through my tears.

Day 37: It's been about a week since I lost you. It's been a nightmare since I lost you. It's been so painful since I lost you. I can't. I can't do it anymore. I can't survive without your warmth. The world has been empty, cold, and gray without you, my Sun King. if you're reading this, then I'm sorry you had to listen to me ramble. I gave the money from his retirement check to my parents for their retirement, since I will not need it.

Don't worry, baby, I'll be there soon.