Ghostly Love

The sunlight glistened off the first winter snow. All the kids rushed outside with excitement the snow a reminder of their long winter break. The morning frost still lined my window untouched from the rays of the sun. I sat in my wooden desk chair and watched my classmates play in the snow. I couldn’t take my eyes off two boys that were having a snow ball fight. One was short and stocky and his winter clothes made him look more plump than usual. The other was taller and more slim. His winter attire was still thick and fluffy but fit him more to his figure.

“Winston, you have to eat breakfast.”The tall slimmer boy turned to the direction the voice came from. “Coming!” Winston did one more squeeze on the snowball he was forming and threw it towards the short one as Winston took off towards his house.

I figured it was time fore me to get ready as well. I couldn’t stay in my pajamas all day even if I am grounded. I got up and moved the chair back towards the desk and headed for my closet. Even though my mom kept the heat all the way up I could never seem to stay warm. So, I grabbed a long sleeve shirt, some sweatpants and socks from the top drawer of my dresser then headed to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. I turned the faucet on but just enough it wouldn’t splash loudly against the drain causing noise. Mom really didn’t like it when I was loud. She never got mad or yelled, but she would always cry. I’ve been trying to adjust as it just started happening after I got grounded.

I made my way downstairs for breakfast. I stayed against the wall so I couldn’t creak the steps and scare mom again. I could smell the coffee before I was even half way. I knew I wouldn’t get to see dad. He was always working long hours but I was hoping I could catch mom before she left. I really wanted to know when I was going to be ungrounded. The other night I heard her and dad talking about all the things I’m going to miss out on. I can only assume that they hate me being locked up in the house just as much as I hate it. I thought about Winston as I rounded the steps. He was a year older than me so I didn’t see him much in school. Luckily my mom always needed help around the house since dad was never there. She hired Winston to help mow, pressure wash the house and fix little things around the house. Mom would make us lemonade and after Winston was finished we would sit out by the tree talking for hours. His smile could brighten anyone’s day and he never left anyone out.

I made my way into the kitchen only to find it as empty as the coffee pot left on the warmer. The coffee pot warmer was still on. Mom must’ve been in a rush this morning. I turned off the warmer and reached above to get a bowl from the cabinet to make cereal. I grabbed the box only to discover they were stale, drowning them in milk to hide the oldness. I ate slowly not ready for another boring day of being grounded. I tried to think of something that I could do that didn’t involve electronics or leaving the premises. I already cleaned my room spotless and finished all the winter break assignments for class. I finished my cereal and made my way up to my room.

The room was small but it was enough. The bed was on the left as soon as you walked in. The dresser on the right against the wall just barely out of the way from the door. The desk was at the good of the bed shoved between the frame and the wall. The only window was on the back wall centered perfectly. I decided to just go back to doing what I had been doing since I finished my responsibilities. I grabbed the wooden desk chair and moved it back in front of the window. I searched around outside for Winston. There was still plenty of kids outside in the snow. Finally his neon orange hat stood out even brighter against the snow. A new desire formed in me and I wondered if I could catch his attention with something bright. I walked over to my desk and looked for the bracelet dad got me last year for my birthday. It had my initials with an elephant charm next to it. I hoped between the snow and the few diamonds on the bracelet it would be enough. I walked back over to the chair and search for the best light reflection. It took a few tried but soon it caught Winston’s eye. Winston tapped the back of his friends shoulder that he was throwing snowballs at earlier that morning and pointed towards my window. I had the confirmation that he did see me. I put the bracelet down and waved but he didn’t wave back. His face flooded with confusion. I watch his friend turn and look towards my window then shrug of Winston’s hand. Winston kept his eyes pierced to my window. I tried waving again but he just started. His facial expression turned to agony as he lowered his head and pushed through the crowd of kids. I watched a couple of the kids stop to try and grab Winston’s attention but he just kept walking. As I watched him walk away I couldn’t help but wonder how much me being grounded affected everyone. I knew I was going to have to talk to mom as soon as she got him. I made my way down the steps and pulled the curtains back from the big window that was in the front of the living room. I laid my head against the glass and watched the cars pass till mom came home.

I must have fallen asleep as I awoke to the sound of the garage door opening. I looked around my room confused. I really could’ve sworn I fell asleep in the front window. I didn’t have time to confront my sleep walking habit and shot up out of bed. I was too eager to talk to mom. I ran downstairs just as mom was walking through the door. I rounded the corner and watched her lay her purse on the kitchen table. I ran up and gave her the biggest hug I could. Mom’s body tightened and her eyes searched the room. She took two steps back pulling herself out of my hug and leaned against the countertop. I looked at her better this time and I could see the color was completely washed out of her face. I looked at her body more and could now see the weight she has lost. Mom looked sick. I really had to talk to her about my grounding. If I could get ungrounded I could help her. I could go to the grocery for her then cook dinner so she could get some rest.

“Mom, can we talk?”

I patiently waited for her response but she just kept looking around the room her eyes filled with fear and sadness.

“Mom, please-“

There was a knock at the door that cut off my words. Mom quickly shook off her funk and made her way to the door. How could she answer the door for a stranger but not walk to talk to her own child? I pushed down the hurt and made my way to the door. I was curious of who would even be knocking but before I made it out the kitchen I heard my mom’s voice.

“Winston? Honey, are you okay?”

My heart dropped. Did she say Winston? I walked into the hallways and kept Winston hidden behind my mother. I was happy he was here. I was curious as to why he didn’t wave back. This was the first time I had seen him not through a glass window and didn’t want the first conversation to be me whining about not getting attention from him. I let the curiosity go and stepped out from behind my mom. I looked at Winston waving again but he just kept looking at my mother with tear stains on his cheek. I watched my mom wrap her arms around him in the biggest hug and watched her shoulders drop. Her body moved in way that seemed as if she was crying.

Winston stepped back. I could see he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how. He fiddled with the band around his wrist for a few minutes then finally spoke. “Mrs. Tollie.” Winston was always respectful to my mom even after she told him that he could call her by her first name.

“It’s open doors here Winston you can speak freely.”

“I-I uh saw something today.” He paused for a moment. He seemed unsure about what he was saying, “Something shiny flashed in the window.”

“Oh sweetheart.” My mom wrapped her arms around Winston once again, “I couldn’t imagine how hard this must be for you. You two were the best of friends. I know you loved her and she loved you.”

“Mrs. Tollie, I-“

“Winston,” I couldn’t see the pain in my mom’s eyes but I knew that time. It was the tone that she used when she had to give me bad news. “You’re more than welcome to go up to her room. I haven’t packed anything up. It’s been several weeks, I know I should clean it out but I’m just not ready.”

“You wouldn’t mind?” Winston tucked his arms to his chest.

“No, not at all.”

I watched Winston slowly make his way up the steps. I turned to my mom and asked her what was going on but she never acknowledged me. She only continued to watch Winston until he was out of sight. As soon as he was upstairs my mom hit the floor bawling. I’m just grounded why is everyone acting so strange? I hugged my mom before making my way upstairs. I had to talk to Winston.

I got to the door frame of my room and could hear the tears that Winston was shedding. I peered I to my room and saw him sitting on my bed holding my favorite stuffed animal. I walked over and sat next to him putting my arm around his shoulder. “Winston? What’s wrong? What’s going on?” But Winston just sat there crying. After the tears settled he got up and started looking around my room. He walked over to my dresser picking up a couple of items looking at them then laying them back down. He walked over to my desk and looked through our winter break assignment. We had to do a report on Christmas’s around the world. I hoped Winston wasn’t upset that I did my report already. He always enjoyed helping me with my projects especially since he had already done most of them the year before. He enjoyed giving me tips and pointers to make them better. He would tell me things certain teachers were looking for, but I was confused when I saw a blank poster board. I finished the project within the first week I got grounded right after the boredom came to in less than 24 hours. But now looking at the blank poster I can’t even remember what country I chose to do my Christmas on. I watched Winston make his way towards the wooden chair in the window. He looked around outside then down towards the window sill. He picked up the bracelet I left there and he let it shine in the window. The tears fell again and he whispered, “I knew it was you.” I reached up to touch Winston but this time my hand just went straight through him. Confusion rushed through me and I wanted to puke. No. No. No. I raced down the steps to find my mom still crouched on the floor. I went to run her back but just before I was close enough Winston was making his was down the steps. Mom quickly got up and put her arms out and Winston walked straight to her.

“Winston I hope you know you were the best thing that happened to her. you brought life into her as the cancer was trying to take it. You’re the reason she smiled up to her last day.”

“She was the reason I kept going.”

My mom crouched down to look Winston in the eyes, “So now it’s time for you to live for her. Do the things she wasn’t able to.”

“I just miss her Mrs. Tollie.”

“I know sweetheart, but I know she’s not sick anymore, running around with her dog and visiting her grandma.”

A sweet familiar voice came from behind me. “Camilla it’s time.” I turned to see my grandmother standing behind me with a beautiful glow of light behind her. My first dog came trotting behind out the light wagging her tail.

“Grandma?” How are you here?” I turned back to my mom and Winston looking at their tear stained cheeks. “I was never grounded was I?”

“It’s okay, we all get a little confused after it happened but I’m here to take you home now.”

“But grandma.”

“We’ll go see your dad at work first but it’s time to say goodbye.”

I walked over and gave my mom one last hug then walked over to Winston. I could feel my time was up but I had to hold on just a moment longer. I got on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. His tears fell harder as he reached his hand to the spot my lips just left. I whispered in his ear, “Thank you being my light in the darkness.” At the same time Winston whispered, “I knew it was you.”