Nobody Nose

NOBODY NOSE

DECEMBER 7: Today was the worst day of my life. I can’t believe my parents never told me the truth. And I had to find it out in front of everybody—all my friends, Santa, my girlfriend Clarise. I just want to die.

Apparently, my parents thought it was okay to hide who I really was. They told me that all the other reindeer did the same thing. I thought they were telling me the truth. Why shouldn’t I believe them? Who thinks that their parents would lie about something as fundamental as who I was?

We were all playing—you know, the usual reindeer games. Jumping, pulling, racing, flying. The same stuff we did everyday when it wasn’t Christmas. There’s a core group of older reindeer who have their positions on Santa’s sleigh wrapped up tight—the “A-Team.” These are the go-to guys. Permanent pulling spots every year. Me and a bunch of the younger reindeer are part of the back-up plan. We are the “just in case” reindeer. Let’s say Dancer sprained a hoof, or Vixen had stomach problems. Santa has to have backup reindeer—the sleigh needs eight healthy reindeer, minimum, for the Christmas Eve run. That’s where the backup reindeer come in, and why we were playing those stupid reindeer games.

Anyway, we called ourself the “B-Team”—as in Backup-Team, Today we were practicing flying with the harnesses on. We would run, leap, fly around the North Pole pulling an empty sled, then land. Everything was going great, until it was time to land. I landed perfectly, but Jake overshot his landing, and landed on my back, forcing my face into the snow. I was fine, just a snout full of snow. No harm done—or so I thought. When I shook off the snow, everything was a little bit brighter, but other than that, I felt fine. I was a little annoyed at Jake. This wasn’t the first time he’d flubbed a landing.

But when I pulled my head out of the snow, everyone gasped. I mean really gasped.

”What?” I said, looking around at everybody. No one said anything. Something was wrong. I was starting to worry. Maybe one of my antlers had broken? I had no idea.

Then Santa walked up to me. “Rudolph, you need to go home, right now. Tell you’re parents that I’ll be along shortly.”

I was confused, not sure about what had happened. Santa never sent the reindeers home, especially this close to Christmas. “What did I do?” I asked Santa.

“We’ll discuss it with your parents.” He shook his head. “Now, off with you.”

I had no choice. I had to go home.

When I walked through the door, my mother gasped. “Oh my God, Rudolph! What happened?” She backed up, fear radiating off of her.

Now I was really worried. Mom was the calmest reindeer I knew. Nothing rattled her. My dad, Donner, had a pretty stressful job—he was Santa’s lead reindeer, and was in charge of landing safely on rooftops, and making sure the sleigh got airborne on short take-offs. He was really good at his job, but it was still dangerous. And every Christmas Eve, Mom always snouted him when it was time to leave, and told him to be careful out there, and make sure all those good little boys and girls got all of their gifts. I’m sure she was worried, but she never let on. Nerves of steel, my Mom. Not today, though.

If Mom was freaked out looking at me, then I knew something was really wrong. She galloped outside, calling my Dad’s name. They both came into our stable a few seconds later.

”Shit!” was all Dad said, shaking his head. He looked away, out the window. That’s when we all saw Santa marching towards our stable. “Damn it!” Dad looked from Santa to Mom. “Let me do the talking,” She nodded mutely.

Santa walked in. “Donner, we need to talk.”

My Dad was the biggest and strongest of all of Santa’s reindeer, head, shoulders, and antlers above Santa. But he didn’t look that big and strong right at the moment. He looked ashamed and embarrassed.

”Why didn’t you tell me?” asked Santa.

Dad shook his head. “And tell you what? That my son is a freak?”

My heart stuttered. A freak? My dad never said things like that. What was he talking about?

“Donner, you should have told me when he was born. You know the protocol when there’s an issue with a calf.”

Mom gasped, and stepped closer to me, putting her body between me and Santa.

I knew the protocol. It was brutal. Weak or unhealhty or disformed calves were sent to the Island of Misfit Toys. It wasn’t just for toys, it was where everything not one hundred percent perfect went. Then, it was up to nature whether the misfit calf lived or died. I didn’t remember any of the reindeer ever returning.

Dad puffed out his chest and looked Santa in the eye. “That’s exactly why we didn’t tell you—the protocol.

Santa looked stern. “We have an obligation to keep the herd strong.”

Dad squared his shoulders. “You know Rudolph’s strong. He’s best flyer you have on the B-Team. If he wasn’t, you wouldn’t have him on lead.”

Santa nodded, saying nothing, thinking. Then he said, “That’s true, Donner.” He looked at me. “But what about his nose?”

My nose? What the heck? Sure I had to have special black sun block smeared on my nose every day, but Mom and Dad said it was to protect it from the sun. They said because we were this far north, the ozone layer was really thin, and they worried that the sun would damage my delicate nose skin. Mom told me that her cousin had developed skin cancer, and they were worried about me. So, I did the sun block thing.

But, thinking about it, I realized that I was the only one who did that. The other reindeer didn’t use the black sunscreen. In fact they didn’t use any sunscreen at all. I had noticed, sorta, but figured it was because my nose was so much bigger than the other reindeer.

I turned to my mom. “What about my nose?” I asked.

Mom said nothing. Instead she brought over a shiny mirror, and held it up for me to look at.

I gasped and took a step back. What the actual heck! I had a giant red nose, and it glowed. I … I … I was a freak.

I ran out of the house.

DECEMBER 8: I looked around. Yes, I was in the forest, but not really sure where exactly in the forest I was. I’d run away as fast as I could, and as soon as I was clear of the stable, I lifted off, and flew.

I flew until I was tired, then set down. I slept under some snow-covered pine trees, but I was worried that my nose would attract the wrong kind of interest—wolves, foxes, polar bears, grizzly bears. You know, the things that can eat a young reindeer. I had a lousy sleep. I was exhausted.

I foraged around, ate some pine boughs, and thought. What was I going to do? I checked North Pole social media. That was a mistake. All my “friends” were piling on.

Rudolph’s mom musta had an affair with a clown! Look at that nose!

How can we trust Donner to guide Santa’s sleigh when he keeps a secret like Rudolph from the entire herd!

Big red nose! Not from Donner! Rudolph’s probably not his. His mom’s the worst.

Donner should lose his job for hiding his freaky son! He can’t be trusted.

Just like Pinocchio, only bright red. I wonder what other lies he’s been telling! His whole life’s been a lie. #rednosedfreak

Maybe he could be the eighth dwarf with that honker!

Nose like a clown, but not as funny!

Ran away like a baby! He better not come back!

I was heartbroken. These were supposed to be my friends. Why was I their buddy before they saw my nose, but not after? Maybe I was broken.

So, I decided to go to the Island of Misfit Toys. What did i have to lose? That’s probably where I would have ended up, anyways. There was nowhere else to go.

When I arrived there, I was surprised to see so many other reindeer. Some were small. One only had three legs. Another only one eye. A couple only had antlers on one side. But they were all there, living their best lives after banishment.

“Hello,” I said. “My name is Rudolph, and I am a misfit.”

”Hello, Rudolph.”

I explained why I was here, but I’m pretty sure they could figure that out by the oversized red orb on my face. But yhey welcomed me in, giant honker and all.

DECEMBER 13: The last few days passed in a blur. I found out that it was the toys that helped the first misfit reindeer to survive. Now they all lived in harmony.

It was after breakfast and I was talking to Stella. She was a one-eyed reindeer.

“You’re grown now. Why don’t you go back to Christmastown?” I asked her.

She snorted. “Why should I? They rejected me, and expected me to die. But I didn’t. Instead I flourished here. I’ve got my friends, my home, acceptance —everything I wanted.”

I had to agree.

DECEMBER 19: Today I had a HUGE surprise. Stella invited me over to her stable. She said that she had someone she wanted me to meet. I was curious. I thought that I had met everybody already, but apparently not.

When I walked into her stable, I stopped cold. There was another reindeer—another reindeer with a giant red nose. I stood there with my mouth literally hanging open.

”Who … who are you?” I asked.

”I’m your sister, Rudolph. My name is Bitty.”

”My sister?” I squeaked. I was soooo confused. As far as I knew, didn’t have any brothers or sisters . I was an only reindeer.

“Yes. I’m five years old. Our parents sent me here, as per the protocol. But I survived.”

Bitty had been born the year before me. But no one ever talked about her. I had no idea. She explained that there was a recessive gene in both families that produced red-nosed reindeer. Our parents were not supposed to have any more calves, but apparently they didn’t follow the edict, and had me. We talked and talked and talked.

I asked her how she knew all the details and she told me that our mother visited a couple times a year. Apparently our dad didn’t know anything about it. I had to hand it to mom, she managed to keep her secrets.

DECEMBER 24: It was Christmas Eve, and I was feeling a little bit melancholy. Normally all of Christmastown would be helping get the sleigh loaded. Dad would head out to the sleigh, telling me to be good, and he’d see me the next day.

The weather was all foggy and wet, the moisture in the air feeling heavy and weighty. So much for a white Christmas. It mirrored my mood perfectly.

Then we heard it. The sound of sleigh bells in the distance. We all walked out to edge of the forest to watch. It was too early for the delivery of new misfit toys—that didn’t happen until after Christmas.

The fog was thick as pea soup. Visibility was less than ten feet. Whoever was trying to land on the beach was taking a chance.

SPLASH!

We all ran out of the forest, onto the clearing. Santa’s sleigh was in the water, just off the beach. Dad was in the lead, all eight reindeer pulling hard to get the sleigh out of the water. Santa stepped down out of the sleigh once it was on the beach and walked over to where we were standing.

”Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?”

I looked at him. This was the same man who banished Bitty and wanted me gone. “Why?” I asked.

”The fog, Rudolph. We can’t see where we’re going.” He looked over to where my dad was shaking sand off of his coat. Bitty came over to stand beside me. Santa looked shocked. He knew exactly who Bitty was.

“Why should we do this after the way you’ve treated us?” I asked. I looked at Bitty. “Both of us!” I looked at all the reindeer at the edge of the forest. “All of us?”

Santa looked sad. “I made a mistake. I realize that now. There is a place for red-nosed reindeer.” He looked at the other reindeer. “And a three-legged reindeer, and a one-eyed reindeer, and reindeer with only half a rack. You all have a place in Christmastown.”

My Dad spoke up. “Please, son. We need you.”

I looked back at all my new friends, friends who had accepted me without question.

”Nope, I’m good. You guys can figure it out.”

We all turned and walked back into the forest.

LATER: I married Stella and we opened a bar, and we have three calves. Bitty is the mayor of the Island of Misfit Toys.