Addiction is an Obsession gone Awry

To live with an addiction that make you turn into an obsession after you have glared at it or stared at it for many years, can make your brown eyes blue, or maybe your blue eyes red.

Crying over the idea that your addiction will never be more than you dreaming about that obsession as though you deserve to be part of it and to keep it a secret, can almost drive you insane.

You get jealous when you see your addiction get closer to the one you wish was you filling them shoes instead of the odd ball whose arm your obsession is hanging onto.

Then you are at the big school dance night, with the air crisp and clear, with a touch of misty fog and a full moon outside in the night sky. You build up the courage to follow into the gymnasium and approach your obsession, hoping you won't stutter or fumble over your words, when you are ready to ask them to be your date.

Then that guy walks up, with one smooth move and one fall of the disco ball, your addiction that became your obsession, then your fear turns to jealousy and rage, but you go pour some alcohol into the punch bowl, hoping they both get drunk off of high octane and get caught being drunk.

The smell of teen spirit, sweat, and adrenaline including with teen raging hormones are more like a ball team who is many points ahead of their opponents and they have the championship clinched. Like the school gets to attend the chess tournament in the state capitol but lose out to the present champions by no more than 2 points, they still feel dejected.

Your obsession to become the one and only, the one that will make her dreams come true, to be her first boyfriend, when the principal catches you pouring the alcohol in the punch bowl instead and off you both go down the hall, as the principal throws you out on your ear and you are shocked at the treatment you just were handed.

But you fall out of your bed, being woke up by the fall and are still filled with sleepiest in your eyes, which are shut tight, making you feel as though you are blind. You feel your way to the nightstand, that you memorized from memory, obviously beside your bed on the same side you fell out of the bed.

You reach up, spilling your water on your head, the breath freshener is mistaken for eye drops and you scream so loud it could wake the dead from their eternal sleep. You are met with your mom, dad, younger brother and sister, who have heard you cry and are making fun of you as you hear them laughing.

You cry louder. Mom grabs the water glass off the table; rushes to get it refilled and returns to help aid you in getting your eyes cleared up. As you blink repeatedly, you see that there are the four of them and your dog, Chester, is licking your eyes, as you slowly open them up widely. You can see again, even with the burning sensation from pouring breath freshener into your eyes, but you closed them, so the burning is minimal.

Your thoughts are caught between mom holding you close and trying to comfort you. Your siblings are snickering. You think about how you will get your revenge, but your attention returns to the addiction turned obsession turned into an embarrassing moment of possibly an actual dream of it.

You feel alone and recoil from the hold your mom has on you. Dad is more like, "Come on champ, you are ok now." "Let's all go back to bed."

Then the dawn's sunlight is poking its' knowing head through the night sky, and you feel as though it was not long ago that you were dreaming, fell out of bed, and everyone came to your aid when you screamed. You could learn to like this newfound attention you are receiving. This must be what it feels like when you are waited hand on foot. "Hmmm how can I cash in on this?"

Nah. I may either make dad or mom upset when they figure out, I was faking being hurt. Or my little sister and brother might get jealous of me for being so needy. "Wait, do they even understand what it is to be jealous." "Wait, they do copy me often and I don't know what they are feeling at that age." "Wait, did I even know what I was feeling at that age?" So long ago it seems and yet not so long ago, I mean I only turned 11 like two days ago. Wow big man on campus.

It seems I have given my addiction less of the attention it was deserving and more attention to something less worthy of any attention at all. Before I know it, mom is calling me down for breakfast.

I look at the clock on my nightstand. It says it is 7:45 and I only have maybe 15 minutes to get up, get dressed, make it to the bus stop to catch the school bus, one minute passed and I will miss it.

I, of course, miss the bus, and my bicycle, in the garage has two flat tires. No time to waste, heading off in the direction that the school is in. I begin to think about my addiction turning it into my obsession once more. I am humming a song with this, which goes from inside my head. It is so awesome, and I mentally dive deep into the thought of my addiction/obsession that will maybe give me to courage to ask her out.

When I finally arrive at school, there is a large crowd of students outside and the teachers, along with the principal are there. The police have arrived, and I am curious to see what all the commotion is. I see someone on the ground, with one student standing beside the one on the ground.

My addiction. my obsession has laid out the kid, with whom I had become jealous of, because I thought he was my competition. The girl in my homeroom class, looks up, smiling at me, like she knew what I was thinking, slowly walking towards me, grabbing hold of my hand.

We head off to homeroom while still holding hands.