Joey Green

Joey Green - Ghostwriter

Los Angeles, CA, USA

Ghostwriter and author of more than 60 books published by major publishing houses. Funny. Versatile. Prolific. 35-years experience.

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Overview

I'm a former contributing editor to National Lampoon, a former advertising copywriter at J. Walter Thompson and Walt Disney World, and the author of more than sixty (yes, sixty) books published by such major publishing houses as Penguin, Little, Brown, Simon & Schuster, St. Martin's Press, Hyperion, Rodale, Andrews McMeel Universal, HarperCollins, and many more.

My books include the middle-grade novel "Not So Normal Norbert" (written with mega-selling author James Patterson), "Last-Minute Kitchen Secrets," "Last-Minute Travel Secrets," "Last-Minute Survival Secrets," "Contrary to Popular Belief," the best-selling "Joey Green's Magic Brands" series, "The Mad Scientist Handbook" series, "The Get Smart Handbook," "The Partridge Family Album," and "The Gilligan's Island Handbook"—to name just a few. To promote my books, I've appeared on "Good Morning America," "The Tonight Show," "Conan O'Brien," and "The View," and I've bee profiled in the "New York Times," "Washington Post," "Los Angeles Times," and "People." I've also written for "Rolling Stone," "Time," and "Reader's Digest."

I can ghostwrite your non-fiction book or novel from scratch, rewrite or polish your existing manuscript, edit, do developmental editing, or copyedit to make your manuscript shine. I'm fast, funny, efficient, meticulous, and professional.

My goal is to understand your objective, see your vision, bring out your story, and give your manuscript life. I give honest and constructive feedback. I pride myself on being flexible and easy to work with. And I love clear, concise, vigorous writing. I'd be delighted to discuss your ideas with you.
Languages
English (US)
Non-Fiction
Entertainment
Home & Garden
Self-help & Self-improvement
Travel
Fiction
Humor & Comedy
Literary Fiction
Science Fiction
Children's
Middle Grade

Certifications

  • Cornell University, BFA

Awards

  • Clio Award for Creative Excellence
  • Miami Herald Silver Knight

Work experience

Author and Freelance Writer

Self-employed
July, 1994 – Present (over 25 years)

As a former contributing editor to National Lampoon and a former advertising copywriter for J. Walter Thompson and Walt Disney World, I have written more than sixty books and articles for numerous magazines, including Rolling Stone, Time, Reader's Digest, Spy, American Way, and The American Bystander.

Portfolio (59 selected works)

Not So Normal Norbert

James Patterson

James Patterson's rollicking new middle grade novel is a hilarious adventure into a futuristic world, where different is dangerous, imagination is insanity, and creativity is crazy!Norbert Riddle lives in the United State of Earth, where normal means following the rules, never standing out, and being exactly the same as everyone else, down to the plain gray jumpsuits he wears everyday. He's be... read more

James Patterson's rollicking new middle grade novel is a hilarious adventure into a futuristic world, where different is dangerous, imagination is insanity, and creativity is crazy!Norbert Riddle lives in the United State of Earth, where normal means following the rules, never standing out, and being exactly the same as everyone else, down to the plain gray jumpsuits he wears everyday. He's be... read more

The Zen of Oz: Ten Spiritual Lessons from Over the Rainbow

Joey Green

Does The Wizard of Oz touch a spiritual chord in each one of us because it has a certain Zen to it? Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, is clearly a Zen Master. She sets Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road to spiritual enlightenment. When Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion let go of their conscious yearning and free their minds to function spontaneously and inharmony with... read more

Does The Wizard of Oz touch a spiritual chord in each one of us because it has a certain Zen to it? Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, is clearly a Zen Master. She sets Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road to spiritual enlightenment. When Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion let go of their conscious yearning and free their minds to function spontaneously and inharmony with... read more

Marx & Lennon: The Parallel Sayings

Joey Green

Selected by bestselling author Joey Green, a collection of 400 quotes by Marx and Lennon, juxtaposed to reveal their hilarious similarities. No, not THAT Marx and Lenin! Here's a much funnier and artistically talented pair from history. Revolutionaries in their own rights, John Lennon and Groucho Marx did not share much common ground with their Communist namesakes, or even with each other. Whe... read more

Selected by bestselling author Joey Green, a collection of 400 quotes by Marx and Lennon, juxtaposed to reveal their hilarious similarities. No, not THAT Marx and Lenin! Here's a much funnier and artistically talented pair from history. Revolutionaries in their own rights, John Lennon and Groucho Marx did not share much common ground with their Communist namesakes, or even with each other. Whe... read more

The Unofficial Gilligan's Island Handbook

Joey Green

This handbook reviews all the episodes and movies related to the popular comedy series. Each episode summary may also contain Tropical Inventions, a Castaway Quiz, and Comments section.

This handbook reviews all the episodes and movies related to the popular comedy series. Each episode summary may also contain Tropical Inventions, a Castaway Quiz, and Comments section.

The Partridge Family Album

Joey Green

Get on the bus and take a ride with the Partridge Family, America's first family of prime-time pop. Reminisce as sex symbol Keith almost flunks sex education and Laurie's new braces nearly come between her and Mark Hamill. Relive Danny's date with the draft board and heed Shirley's motherly philosophy on life. "Come on, get happy," don't be like Mr. Kincaid.Written with more insider details th... read more

Get on the bus and take a ride with the Partridge Family, America's first family of prime-time pop. Reminisce as sex symbol Keith almost flunks sex education and Laurie's new braces nearly come between her and Mark Hamill. Relive Danny's date with the draft board and heed Shirley's motherly philosophy on life. "Come on, get happy," don't be like Mr. Kincaid.Written with more insider details th... read more

Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose: And Hundreds of Offbeat Uses for Brand-Name Products

Joey Green

An entertaining and practical guide that offers a behind-the-scenes look at more than forty of America's favorite brand-name products discusses their history and inventors, how they got their names, and the offbeat ways in which they can be used. Original.

An entertaining and practical guide that offers a behind-the-scenes look at more than forty of America's favorite brand-name products discusses their history and inventors, how they got their names, and the offbeat ways in which they can be used. Original.

Selling Out: If Famous Authors Wrote Advertising

Joey Green

Takes a humorous look at what our most famous authors might have said if they had written television commercials

Takes a humorous look at what our most famous authors might have said if they had written television commercials

Weird and Wonderful Christmas: Curious and Crazy Customs and Coincidences From Around the World

Joey Green

Holiday trivia from best-selling author of the arcane, Joey Green, who has been called “a connoisseur of unconventionality.” Priced and sized to fit perfectly in a stocking. The perfect gift for the Christmas-obsessedChristmas compiles the mishaps, the mayhem, the hideous sweaters and inedible fruitcakes, the momentous births and untimely deaths, and the crimes and catastrophes that have taken... read more

Holiday trivia from best-selling author of the arcane, Joey Green, who has been called “a connoisseur of unconventionality.” Priced and sized to fit perfectly in a stocking. The perfect gift for the Christmas-obsessedChristmas compiles the mishaps, the mayhem, the hideous sweaters and inedible fruitcakes, the momentous births and untimely deaths, and the crimes and catastrophes that have taken... read more

You Know You've Reached Middle Age If...

Joey Green, Alan Corcoran

Every 18 seconds another Baby Boomer turns 50 and confronts that dreaded milestone: middle age. But the "Me Generation" seems to be defining middle age based on a projected life span of 120 years. In other words, they're in denial, big time. This lighthearted book will clear up any confusion readers might have about whether they're still young at heart, or if they're being dragged kicking and ... read more

Every 18 seconds another Baby Boomer turns 50 and confronts that dreaded milestone: middle age. But the "Me Generation" seems to be defining middle age based on a projected life span of 120 years. In other words, they're in denial, big time. This lighthearted book will clear up any confusion readers might have about whether they're still young at heart, or if they're being dragged kicking and ... read more

The Mad Scientist Handbook (Turtleback School & Library Binding Edition)

Joey Green

FOR USE IN SCHOOLS AND LIBRARIES ONLY. Inside, you will find a wild and wacky collection of cool experiments you can do with things found around the house! Joey Green has been a TV guest on ""The Tonight Show,"" ""Rosie O'Donnell,"" and ""Conan O'Brien.

FOR USE IN SCHOOLS AND LIBRARIES ONLY. Inside, you will find a wild and wacky collection of cool experiments you can do with things found around the house! Joey Green has been a TV guest on ""The Tonight Show,"" ""Rosie O'Donnell,"" and ""Conan O'Brien.

Excellent Book

Joey Green's Cleaning Magic: 2,336 Ingenious Cleanups Using Brand-Name Products

Joey Green

From the guru of discovering extraordinary uses for brand-name products come brand-new ways to make cleaning, organizing, and decluttering quick, easy, and a lot more funThe public is endlessly fascinated by quirky and offbeat uses for their favorite products and, this time around, Joey Green tackles household chores with his pantry full of cleaning power. Green's easy and effortless tips and ... read more

From the guru of discovering extraordinary uses for brand-name products come brand-new ways to make cleaning, organizing, and decluttering quick, easy, and a lot more funThe public is endlessly fascinated by quirky and offbeat uses for their favorite products and, this time around, Joey Green tackles household chores with his pantry full of cleaning power. Green's easy and effortless tips and ... read more

Joey Green's Magic Health Remedies: 1,363 Quick-and-Easy Cures Using Brand-Name Products

Joey Green

Home remedies remain an appealing alternative to costly doctor visits—they're effective, inexpensive, and ideal for everyday illnesses and injuries that don't require hands-on medical care. When brand-name product guru Joey Green tackles a subject like home remedies, readers can be found reaching into their closets, cupboards, and pantries for their favorite products to cure what ails them. Fr... read more

Home remedies remain an appealing alternative to costly doctor visits—they're effective, inexpensive, and ideal for everyday illnesses and injuries that don't require hands-on medical care. When brand-name product guru Joey Green tackles a subject like home remedies, readers can be found reaching into their closets, cupboards, and pantries for their favorite products to cure what ails them. Fr... read more

Joey Green's Amazing Pet Cures: 1,138 Simple Pet Remedies Using Everyday Brand-Name Products

Joey Green

From the man who knows how to fertilize houseplants with Jell-O and give someone a dry shampoo with Quaker Oats comes the first book of pet care tips that tackles everyday pet illnesses, quirky behaviors, and animal smells and stains by tapping into the power of brand-name products.The ever-inventive Joey Green presents fun and offbeat remedies for a wide range of pet troubles, from bad breath... read more

From the man who knows how to fertilize houseplants with Jell-O and give someone a dry shampoo with Quaker Oats comes the first book of pet care tips that tackles everyday pet illnesses, quirky behaviors, and animal smells and stains by tapping into the power of brand-name products.The ever-inventive Joey Green presents fun and offbeat remedies for a wide range of pet troubles, from bad breath... read more

Joey Green's Kitchen Magic: 1,882 Quick Cooking Tricks, Cleaning Hints, and Kitchen Remedies Using Your Favorite Brand-Name Products

Joey Green

From the guru of brand-new uses for brand-name products come ideas and tips for culinary fun, cleaning shortcuts, and kitchen cabinet remedies Joey Green has fascinated readers for more than a decade with his quirky and innovative tips to make domestic engineering a lot more fun. Now fans will be completely intrigued and entertained by Joey's kitchen--and pantry-focused ideas, like using Canad... read more

From the guru of brand-new uses for brand-name products come ideas and tips for culinary fun, cleaning shortcuts, and kitchen cabinet remedies Joey Green has fascinated readers for more than a decade with his quirky and innovative tips to make domestic engineering a lot more fun. Now fans will be completely intrigued and entertained by Joey's kitchen--and pantry-focused ideas, like using Canad... read more

Dumb History: The Stupidest Mistakes Ever Made

Joey Green

A book that proves idiocy is as old as timeThink civilization has deteriorated and that people these days are dumber than ever? Dumb History proves that we didn’t invent stupidity in the 21st century. You’ll find facts from throughout the ages about everyone from Cleopatra and Napoleon to Elvis Presley and even NASA scientists. Consider this: • In 820 C.E., Emperor Hsien Tsung’s herbalist pres... read more

A book that proves idiocy is as old as timeThink civilization has deteriorated and that people these days are dumber than ever? Dumb History proves that we didn’t invent stupidity in the 21st century. You’ll find facts from throughout the ages about everyone from Cleopatra and Napoleon to Elvis Presley and even NASA scientists. Consider this: • In 820 C.E., Emperor Hsien Tsung’s herbalist pres... read more

Last-Minute Kitchen Secrets: 128 Ingenious Tips to Survive Lumpy Gravy, Wilted Lettuce, Crumbling Cake, and Other Cooking Disasters

Joey Green

Your guests are arriving in a half hour, and your dinner has taken a turn for the worse. The lettuce has wilted, the gravy's lumpy, and the pie crust has burned! Time for takeout? Not if you have Joey Green's Last-Minute Kitchen Secrets. This book contains more than a hundred helpful hacks to avoid and salvage cooking disasters, store and prepare ingredients, keep appliances running smoothly, ... read more

Your guests are arriving in a half hour, and your dinner has taken a turn for the worse. The lettuce has wilted, the gravy's lumpy, and the pie crust has burned! Time for takeout? Not if you have Joey Green's Last-Minute Kitchen Secrets. This book contains more than a hundred helpful hacks to avoid and salvage cooking disasters, store and prepare ingredients, keep appliances running smoothly, ... read more

Last-Minute Survival Secrets: 128 Ingenious Tips to Endure the Coming Apocalypse and Other Minor Inconveniences

Joey Green

Last-Minute Survival Secrets contains more than a hundred ingenious survival tips that may sound quirky at first, but really do work. Readers will discover a wide range of handy and unusual secrets to outsmart the unexpected and escape perilous situations using common, household products. Green shows how to start a campfire with potato chips, open a locked suitcase with a ballpoint pen, and pr... read more

Last-Minute Survival Secrets contains more than a hundred ingenious survival tips that may sound quirky at first, but really do work. Readers will discover a wide range of handy and unusual secrets to outsmart the unexpected and escape perilous situations using common, household products. Green shows how to start a campfire with potato chips, open a locked suitcase with a ballpoint pen, and pr... read more

Electric Pickle: 50 Experiments from the Periodic Table, from Aluminum to Zinc

Joey Green

Why does a pickle light up when you plug it into a wall socket? Can iron burn? Are Cheerios magnetic? Explore these strange questions and more in The Electric Pickle, an indispensible collection of 50 madcap experiments based on the periodic table. Each project demonstrates an element's unique properties using easy-to-follow instructions. Experiments include:Hexed Helium BalloonGreen Tornado F... read more

Why does a pickle light up when you plug it into a wall socket? Can iron burn? Are Cheerios magnetic? Explore these strange questions and more in The Electric Pickle, an indispensible collection of 50 madcap experiments based on the periodic table. Each project demonstrates an element's unique properties using easy-to-follow instructions. Experiments include:Hexed Helium BalloonGreen Tornado F... read more

Clean It! Fix It! Eat It!: Easy Ways to Solve Everyday Problems with Brand-name Products You've Already Got Around the House

Joey Green

Hundreds of humorous yet helpful tips on using brand-name household products are presented by the author from his wackyuses database. He explains what chore or problem the product can be used for, such as using Alka-Seltzer( to clean a toilet, or using Bounce( to remove soap scum from shower doors.

Hundreds of humorous yet helpful tips on using brand-name household products are presented by the author from his wackyuses database. He explains what chore or problem the product can be used for, such as using Alka-Seltzer( to clean a toilet, or using Bounce( to remove soap scum from shower doors.

Last-Minute Travel Secrets: 121 Ingenious Tips to Endure Cramped Planes, Car Trouble, Awful Hotels, and Other Trips from Hell

Joey Green

The golden days of complimentary in-flight champagne and cushy sleeping car coaches on the Orient Express are largely behind us. Say hello to $50 "leg room upgrade" fees and bedbug-infested hotels. What's a weary, frustrated traveler to do? Ask Joey Green for advice, that's what! A lifelong world explorer, Green has collected more than a hundred of his best travel hacks to rescue your hard-ear... read more

The golden days of complimentary in-flight champagne and cushy sleeping car coaches on the Orient Express are largely behind us. Say hello to $50 "leg room upgrade" fees and bedbug-infested hotels. What's a weary, frustrated traveler to do? Ask Joey Green for advice, that's what! A lifelong world explorer, Green has collected more than a hundred of his best travel hacks to rescue your hard-ear... read more

Vacation on Location, Midwest: Explore the Sites Where Your Favorite Movies Were Filmed

Joey Green

If you've ever wanted to step into your favorite movie, Vacation on Location, Midwest is the perfect guidebook. Author Joey Green gives readers detailed, chronological, scene-by-scene breakdowns with addresses and maps to visit sites in the Midwest where the most popular films of all time were shot. With this book as your guide, you can turn these excursions into full-scale vacations or quirky... read more

If you've ever wanted to step into your favorite movie, Vacation on Location, Midwest is the perfect guidebook. Author Joey Green gives readers detailed, chronological, scene-by-scene breakdowns with addresses and maps to visit sites in the Midwest where the most popular films of all time were shot. With this book as your guide, you can turn these excursions into full-scale vacations or quirky... read more

Contrary to Popular Belief: More than 250 False Facts Revealed

Joey Green

Is Everything You Know Wrong?Set the record straight!Debunk myths!Learn the truth behind fallacies, falsehoods, hearsay, and lies!Isn’t it time you knew the honest-to-goodness truth? We’ve all come to believe hundreds of “false facts”—myths that we’ve blindly accepted as truth, misconceptions that we’ve ignorantly retold to others—Contrary to Popular Belief provides an instant remedy for your ... read more

Is Everything You Know Wrong?Set the record straight!Debunk myths!Learn the truth behind fallacies, falsehoods, hearsay, and lies!Isn’t it time you knew the honest-to-goodness truth? We’ve all come to believe hundreds of “false facts”—myths that we’ve blindly accepted as truth, misconceptions that we’ve ignorantly retold to others—Contrary to Popular Belief provides an instant remedy for your ... read more

Selling Out: If Famous Authors Wrote Advertising

Joey Green

In Selling Out, author Joey Green has taken the voices of famous writers past and present - from Nathaniel Hawthorne to e. e. cummings, Jane Austen to Erica Jong - and fashioned their words into the ad campaigns they might have written if their prose pushed brand-name products. Sure to raise a chuckle from anyone who ever watched television commercials, as well as from those slightly familiar ... read more

In Selling Out, author Joey Green has taken the voices of famous writers past and present - from Nathaniel Hawthorne to e. e. cummings, Jane Austen to Erica Jong - and fashioned their words into the ad campaigns they might have written if their prose pushed brand-name products. Sure to raise a chuckle from anyone who ever watched television commercials, as well as from those slightly familiar ... read more

Sarah Palin's Secret Diary

Joey Green

This genuine imitation of Sarah Palin’s diary, fabricated by a bona fide satirist, reveals spurious behind-the-scenes happenings with all your favorite mavericks from the extended Palin family—Todd, Bristol, Piper, Willow, Trig, Levi Johnston, John McCain, and Joe the Plumber. They’re all here—and more! Inside you’ll find the ersatz adventures of America’s favorite hockey mom, including such f... read more

This genuine imitation of Sarah Palin’s diary, fabricated by a bona fide satirist, reveals spurious behind-the-scenes happenings with all your favorite mavericks from the extended Palin family—Todd, Bristol, Piper, Willow, Trig, Levi Johnston, John McCain, and Joe the Plumber. They’re all here—and more! Inside you’ll find the ersatz adventures of America’s favorite hockey mom, including such f... read more

Joey Green's Incredible Country Store: Potions, Notions and Elixirs of the Past--and How to Make Them Today

Joey Green

To wander through the pages of Joey Green's Incredible Country Store is to experience the innocence and warmth of a bygone era. In this treasury of tips, recipes, and make-it-yourself concoctions, you will discover which country-store gadgets and gizmos have stood the test of time-and which are now collectors' items. You'll find recipes for homemade soaps, candles, perfumes, elixirs, and candi... read more

To wander through the pages of Joey Green's Incredible Country Store is to experience the innocence and warmth of a bygone era. In this treasury of tips, recipes, and make-it-yourself concoctions, you will discover which country-store gadgets and gizmos have stood the test of time-and which are now collectors' items. You'll find recipes for homemade soaps, candles, perfumes, elixirs, and candi... read more

Joey Green's Fix-It Magic: More than 1,971 Quick-and-Easy Household Solutions Using Brand-Name Products

Joey Green

From the man who's been called the Mad Scientist of Home Improvement―who taught Jay Leno to shave with Jif Peanut Butter and helped Rosie O'Donnell condition her hair with Reddi-wip―here is another irresistible volume filled with fun, offbeat ways to fix things around the house and garden using brand-name products already on hand. Readers of Joey Green's Fix-It Magic will delight in this treas... read more

From the man who's been called the Mad Scientist of Home Improvement―who taught Jay Leno to shave with Jif Peanut Butter and helped Rosie O'Donnell condition her hair with Reddi-wip―here is another irresistible volume filled with fun, offbeat ways to fix things around the house and garden using brand-name products already on hand. Readers of Joey Green's Fix-It Magic will delight in this treas... read more

Joey Green's Gardening Magic: More Than 1,145 Ingenious Gardening Solutions Using Brand-Name Products

Joey Green

Solve your gardening problems with items from your pantry From the man who taught Jay Leno to shave with Jif Peanut Butter and Rosie O'Donnell to condition her hair with Reddi-wip, Joey Green's Gardening Magic is a compendium of practical tips for any gardener. An astounding variety of household items can do double duty outside the home. Here is a just a sample of the more than 1,000 ideas you... read more

Solve your gardening problems with items from your pantry From the man who taught Jay Leno to shave with Jif Peanut Butter and Rosie O'Donnell to condition her hair with Reddi-wip, Joey Green's Gardening Magic is a compendium of practical tips for any gardener. An astounding variety of household items can do double duty outside the home. Here is a just a sample of the more than 1,000 ideas you... read more

Joey Green's Supermarket Spa: Hundreds of Easy Ways to Pamper Yourself with Brand-Name Products from Around the House

Joey Green

Joey Green has become a cult favorite for his offbeat uses for brand-name products. In Supermarket Spa, he turns his attention to the hidden pampering potential of dozens of everyday items found at the local grocery store.With Supermarket Spa, you can...* Condition your hair with Aunt Jemima Syrup*Give yourself a facial with Pepto-Bismol* Condition your hair with Cool Whip* Give yourself a moi... read more

Joey Green has become a cult favorite for his offbeat uses for brand-name products. In Supermarket Spa, he turns his attention to the hidden pampering potential of dozens of everyday items found at the local grocery store.With Supermarket Spa, you can...* Condition your hair with Aunt Jemima Syrup*Give yourself a facial with Pepto-Bismol* Condition your hair with Cool Whip* Give yourself a moi... read more

Joey Green's Encyclopedia of Offbeat Uses for Brand Name Products

Joey Green

Please remove sticker affixed to back of book in the bottom left-hand side.

Please remove sticker affixed to back of book in the bottom left-hand side.

Jesus and Muhammad: The Parallel Sayings

Jesus and Muhammad presents for the first time the sayings of Jesus from the New Testament and the parallel teachings of Muhammad found in the Koran and Hadith. These quotes clearly show that the core values of Christianity - love, peace, compassion, forgiveness, and repentence - match the central tenets of Islam and demonstrate that despite centuries of conflict, these two religions possess a... read more

Jesus and Muhammad presents for the first time the sayings of Jesus from the New Testament and the parallel teachings of Muhammad found in the Koran and Hadith. These quotes clearly show that the core values of Christianity - love, peace, compassion, forgiveness, and repentence - match the central tenets of Islam and demonstrate that despite centuries of conflict, these two religions possess a... read more

Joey Green's Mealtime Magic: More Than 250 Offbeat Recipes Using Beloved Brand-Name Products

Joey Green, a

America's brand-name wizard is at it again, this time creating culinary magic in a cookbook packed with fun, fast, unexpectedly delicious recipes and little-known facts all revolving around brand-name pantry favoritesAs a magician of brand-name miscellany, Joey Green got Jay Leno to shave with Jif peanut butter on The Tonight Show and gave Meredith Vieira a facial with Elmer's Glue-All on The ... read more

America's brand-name wizard is at it again, this time creating culinary magic in a cookbook packed with fun, fast, unexpectedly delicious recipes and little-known facts all revolving around brand-name pantry favoritesAs a magician of brand-name miscellany, Joey Green got Jay Leno to shave with Jif peanut butter on The Tonight Show and gave Meredith Vieira a facial with Elmer's Glue-All on The ... read more

The Ultimate Mad Scientist Handbook

Joey Green

Get ready for more than 100 awesome science experiments that are too cool for school. Chock-full of nonstop madness and jam-packed with easy-to-understand step-by-step instructions and photographs, this is the one book no Mad Scientist should be without. Inside, you'll discover how to . . . • Blow monster bubbles • Launch a homemade UFO • Make a flying potato • Speak through a hose phone • Tur... read more

Get ready for more than 100 awesome science experiments that are too cool for school. Chock-full of nonstop madness and jam-packed with easy-to-understand step-by-step instructions and photographs, this is the one book no Mad Scientist should be without. Inside, you'll discover how to . . . • Blow monster bubbles • Launch a homemade UFO • Make a flying potato • Speak through a hose phone • Tur... read more

Hellbent on Insanity

A rollercoaster ride with the best college humor of the 1970's (and a smattering from the 1980's while your back was turned)

A rollercoaster ride with the best college humor of the 1970's (and a smattering from the 1980's while your back was turned)

The Warning Label Book: Warning: Reading This Book May Cause Spontaneous, Uncontrollable Laughter

Joey Green, Tony Dierckins, Tim Nyberg

Warnings-they're everywhere.On toys. On hair dryers. On compact discs. On take-out coffee cups. Almost everything for sale today comes with a warning. Why? Now, most people have enough common sense not to take a bath with an electric blender, but thanks to a few morons out there who sued big companies and won huge settlements, products now come with warnings that treat consumers like a bunch o... read more

Warnings-they're everywhere.On toys. On hair dryers. On compact discs. On take-out coffee cups. Almost everything for sale today comes with a warning. Why? Now, most people have enough common sense not to take a bath with an electric blender, but thanks to a few morons out there who sued big companies and won huge settlements, products now come with warnings that treat consumers like a bunch o... read more

Official Slinky Book: Hundreds of Wild & Wacky Uses for the Greatest Toy on Earth

Joey Green

The many uses for this simple, versatile, and long-lasting toy are enumerated in this paean to a classic toy, including mobile radio antenna, Pecan harvester, and zero-gravity prop on the Space Shuttle, not to mention the slinky walk down a set of stairs. Original.

The many uses for this simple, versatile, and long-lasting toy are enumerated in this paean to a classic toy, including mobile radio antenna, Pecan harvester, and zero-gravity prop on the Space Shuttle, not to mention the slinky walk down a set of stairs. Original.

Famous Failures: Hundreds of Hot Shots Who Got Rejected, Flunked Out, Worked Lousy Jobs, Goofed Up, or Did Time in Jail Before Achieving Phenomenal Success

Joey Green

Just graduated with no prospects whatsoever? Been fired from your job? Rejected from a snazzy college? Looking for that next big break but coming up empty handed? Fear not, you’re in excellent company . . . • Albert Einstein failed the entrance exams to the Swiss Polytechnic Institute.• J. K. Rowling lived on welfare in an apartment infested with mice.• Muhammad Ali graduated 376th from a high... read more

Just graduated with no prospects whatsoever? Been fired from your job? Rejected from a snazzy college? Looking for that next big break but coming up empty handed? Fear not, you’re in excellent company . . . • Albert Einstein failed the entrance exams to the Swiss Polytechnic Institute.• J. K. Rowling lived on welfare in an apartment infested with mice.• Muhammad Ali graduated 376th from a high... read more

The New Disney Babies Bedtime Stories

Joey Green

Stories and verses featuring Baby Mickey and his friends celebrate the events in a baby's life and provide examples of friendship and cooperation

Stories and verses featuring Baby Mickey and his friends celebrate the events in a baby's life and provide examples of friendship and cooperation

How They Met: Famous Lovers, Partners, Competitors, and Other Legendary Duos

Joey Green

Everyone loves popular biography, especially when served up in concentrated, fact-filled listings, each one enhanced by an eye-catching photograph. How They Met tells the entertaining and often enlightening stories of all those twosomes for whom the total was much more than the sum of their parts. It's an irresistibly insightful celebration of the icons of entertainment, business, and more--fr... read more

Everyone loves popular biography, especially when served up in concentrated, fact-filled listings, each one enhanced by an eye-catching photograph. How They Met tells the entertaining and often enlightening stories of all those twosomes for whom the total was much more than the sum of their parts. It's an irresistibly insightful celebration of the icons of entertainment, business, and more--fr... read more

Paint Your House With Powdered Milk, and Hundreds More Offbeat Uses for Brand-Name Products

Joey Green

Offers unconventional uses for brand-name household products, along with information about the history of each product

Offers unconventional uses for brand-name household products, along with information about the history of each product

The Road to Success is Paved with Failure : How Hundreds of Famous People Triumphed Over Inauspicious Beginnings, Crushing Rejection, Humiliating Defeats and Other Speed Bumps Along Life's Highway

Joey Green

An inspirational compendium of historical trivia and pop culture designed to amuse and delight readers of all ages, including tales of John Grisham's trouble getting published, Barbra Streisand's failed debut, Edgar Allen Poe's expulsion from West Point, and other notables who have overcome failure to find success. Original. 35,000 first printing.

An inspirational compendium of historical trivia and pop culture designed to amuse and delight readers of all ages, including tales of John Grisham's trouble getting published, Barbra Streisand's failed debut, Edgar Allen Poe's expulsion from West Point, and other notables who have overcome failure to find success. Original. 35,000 first printing.

The Mad Scientist Handbook II

Joey Green

A collection of experiments includes those that can be performed using ordinary household objects, such as making a battery from money or a beach ball-powered elevator, plus explanations of why each works. Original.

A collection of experiments includes those that can be performed using ordinary household objects, such as making a battery from money or a beach ball-powered elevator, plus explanations of why each works. Original.

Potato Radio, Dizzy Dice, and More Wacky, Weird Experiments from the Mad Scientist

Joey Green

More mad-lab fun! Here's an all-new book of wacky experiments and off-the-wall tricks kids can perform with things from around the house, from the original "Mad Scientist," Joey Green. Readers will learn how to create their own: ? Anti-Gravity Bucket ? Disappearing Peanuts ? Ice Cream Machine ? Potato Radio ? Instant Silver ? Exploding Flowers ? and much, much more! Loaded with easy-to-underst... read more

More mad-lab fun! Here's an all-new book of wacky experiments and off-the-wall tricks kids can perform with things from around the house, from the original "Mad Scientist," Joey Green. Readers will learn how to create their own: ? Anti-Gravity Bucket ? Disappearing Peanuts ? Ice Cream Machine ? Potato Radio ? Instant Silver ? Exploding Flowers ? and much, much more! Loaded with easy-to-underst... read more

Senior Moments

Joey Green, Alan Corcoran

You've hit the golden years, but it feels more like the Twilight Zone. You receive birthday cards from funeral homes. You need three pairs of glasses to get through the morning paper. Your old friends are dropping like flies. On a good day, nothing hurts until your medication wears off. Well, fear not. You're not alone: senior citizens are the fastest-growing segment of the population. You hav... read more

You've hit the golden years, but it feels more like the Twilight Zone. You receive birthday cards from funeral homes. You need three pairs of glasses to get through the morning paper. Your old friends are dropping like flies. On a good day, nothing hurts until your medication wears off. Well, fear not. You're not alone: senior citizens are the fastest-growing segment of the population. You hav... read more

The Bubble Wrap Book

Joey Green, Tim Nyberg

At long last, the Spam Guy and the Duct Tape Guy have teamed up to bring the world the ultimate bubble wrap bible.Here, in one comprehensive compendium are oodles of quirky and innovative uses for everybody's favorite wrap 'n' pack -- Bubble Wrap.Plus:Great Moments in Bubble Wrap HistoryThat Trademark Bubble Wrap SoundStress Therapy -- Pop Psychology and You How to Get Free Bubble WrapWacky Bu... read more

At long last, the Spam Guy and the Duct Tape Guy have teamed up to bring the world the ultimate bubble wrap bible.Here, in one comprehensive compendium are oodles of quirky and innovative uses for everybody's favorite wrap 'n' pack -- Bubble Wrap.Plus:Great Moments in Bubble Wrap HistoryThat Trademark Bubble Wrap SoundStress Therapy -- Pop Psychology and You How to Get Free Bubble WrapWacky Bu... read more

Wash Your Hair with Whipped Cream: And Hundreds More Offbeat Uses for Even More Brand-Name Products

Joey Green

The successor to Paint Your House with Powdered Milk and Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose offers unorthodox, slightly illicit uses for brand-name products and reveals their secret histories. Original."

The successor to Paint Your House with Powdered Milk and Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose offers unorthodox, slightly illicit uses for brand-name products and reveals their secret histories. Original."

Hi Bob!: A Self-Help Guide to the Bob Newhart Show

Joey Green

The "Bob Newhart Show" is one of the best-loved sitcoms to come out of the '70s. Joey Green, author of The Partridge Family Album pays loving tribute to the show with more than 60 photos, interviews with cast members, a history of how the show came to be, an episode guide, a trivia quiz, and more. Indispensable to old followers and new fans alike, this is the first and only viewer's guide to "... read more

The "Bob Newhart Show" is one of the best-loved sitcoms to come out of the '70s. Joey Green, author of The Partridge Family Album pays loving tribute to the show with more than 60 photos, interviews with cast members, a history of how the show came to be, an episode guide, a trivia quiz, and more. Indispensable to old followers and new fans alike, this is the first and only viewer's guide to "... read more

Clean Your Clothes with Cheez Whiz: And Hundreds of Offbeat Uses for Dozens More Brand-Name Products

Joey Green

Did you know that Baby Magic Baby Powder repels ants and Campbell's Tomato Soup prevents blond hair from turning green in a chlorinated swimming pool? Many of the foods and household items on the shelves of your kitchen and bathroom cabinets have properties and near-magical powers never indicated by what's printed on their labels. In Clean Your Clothes with Cheez Whiz, bestselling author Joey ... read more

Did you know that Baby Magic Baby Powder repels ants and Campbell's Tomato Soup prevents blond hair from turning green in a chlorinated swimming pool? Many of the foods and household items on the shelves of your kitchen and bathroom cabinets have properties and near-magical powers never indicated by what's printed on their labels. In Clean Your Clothes with Cheez Whiz, bestselling author Joey ... read more

Philosophy on the Go (The Bathroom Professor)

Joey Green

We may be a society perpetually on-the-go, but we've still got a little downtime when we go. In just a few short sittings, The Bathroom Professor makes any reader a scintillating cocktail party guest, successful game show contestant, or basic, well-rounded person. Philosophy on the Go introduces all the great philosophers through the ages, from Socrates to Sartre. Wildly entertaining, the fun ... read more

We may be a society perpetually on-the-go, but we've still got a little downtime when we go. In just a few short sittings, The Bathroom Professor makes any reader a scintillating cocktail party guest, successful game show contestant, or basic, well-rounded person. Philosophy on the Go introduces all the great philosophers through the ages, from Socrates to Sartre. Wildly entertaining, the fun ... read more

Monica Speaks!

Monica Lewinsky, Joey Green

Working as a Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, Ziggy demonstrates the true holiday spirit to a pickpocket and a suspicious policeman.

Working as a Santa Claus on Christmas Eve, Ziggy demonstrates the true holiday spirit to a pickpocket and a suspicious policeman.

Weird Christmas

Joey Green

So what DOES happen to a torn dollar bill? And what should you do with a defective coin? Dr. Knowledge answers these questions and provides many more fascinating facts in this entertaining book about everyone’s favorite subject—money! Packed with unusual, amusing, and interesting information on everything from the history of the credit card to the history of social security numbers, from t... read more

So what DOES happen to a torn dollar bill? And what should you do with a defective coin? Dr. Knowledge answers these questions and provides many more fascinating facts in this entertaining book about everyone’s favorite subject—money! Packed with unusual, amusing, and interesting information on everything from the history of the credit card to the history of social security numbers, from t... read more

You Know You Need a Vacation If...

Joey Green

We must declare war on the disease of hyperefficiency and reembrace the American virtues of laziness, indolence, and sloth. . . . Workers of the world unite! . . . Take a vacation! . . . You have nothing to lose but your health insurance." -You Know You Need a Vacation If . . .You Know You Need a Vacation If . . . is a compelling read for the 80 percent of the workforce who feel they are overw... read more

We must declare war on the disease of hyperefficiency and reembrace the American virtues of laziness, indolence, and sloth. . . . Workers of the world unite! . . . Take a vacation! . . . You have nothing to lose but your health insurance." -You Know You Need a Vacation If . . .You Know You Need a Vacation If . . . is a compelling read for the 80 percent of the workforce who feel they are overw... read more

Lunacy: The Best of the Cornell Lunatic

Voted the funniest college humor magazine in America by its own staff, the Cornell Lunatic celebrates its 30th anniversary with this collection of comedy—jam-packed with insanity—that will have readers convulsing with laughter. From articles such as "The World's Worst Opening Pick-up Lines" and "Procrastination Made Easy" to "Sex, Drugs, and Bowling," "Choose Your Own Obsessive-Compulsive Diso... read more

Voted the funniest college humor magazine in America by its own staff, the Cornell Lunatic celebrates its 30th anniversary with this collection of comedy—jam-packed with insanity—that will have readers convulsing with laughter. From articles such as "The World's Worst Opening Pick-up Lines" and "Procrastination Made Easy" to "Sex, Drugs, and Bowling," "Choose Your Own Obsessive-Compulsive Diso... read more

Champagne and Caviar Again?: Complaints of the Rich and Famous

Joey Green, Debbie Green, Alan Corcoran

In clever one-liners that take a tongue-in-cheek look at the “problems” that accompany fame and fortune, these silly passages poke fun at the absurdity of modern society’s complaints while reminding people how good they have it.

In clever one-liners that take a tongue-in-cheek look at the “problems” that accompany fame and fortune, these silly passages poke fun at the absurdity of modern society’s complaints while reminding people how good they have it.

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Seth Kaufman

Versatile ghostwriter and fictioneer. Multiple books on Amazon Top 100 and NY Times list. Memoirs, current events, humor. A fun, fast pro.

New York

Martin Toseland

I am an award-winning ghostwriter and author with over 20 titles published in the UK (both as author and ghost).

London, United Kingdom

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