Enjoying this book? Help it get discovered by casting your vote!

Worth reading 😎

A wonderfully conceived and beautifully described epic flawed by lack of editing

Synopsis

Elinor, Kalloire’s last light-bearer, stands alone in a realm shrouded by perpetual darkness. After her father is killed by aurora-hunters she comes into possession of her tribes most sacred relic, a pendant that possesses uncanny abilities, and that has been handed down from one generation to the next. Surrounded and out-numbered by the enemy Elinor is forced to flee her home in search of a distant tribe that she believes can turn the tide of war in her favor.

Once she manages to slip behind enemy lines, however, Elinor soon realizes Kalloire is not as lifeless as she had been led to believe. She quickly becomes embroiled in tribal politics and fractured alliances that force her to form partnerships of her own. Across distant lands and a vast sea, eventually, Elinor arrives at her destination – Raven Rock – where she encounters the ruler of House Aysgarth who has been imprisoned since Kalloire’s downfall.

Together, they formulate a plan to free Kalloire from Evil’s stifling grasp. But in the end the cost of their alliance must be paid in blood…

I really wanted to like this novel. It starts out with a powerfully evocative writing style, with an opening scene that promises wonderful world building. It is a story about myth and faith and the power of the individual against all odds. 

This story is partly set in an alien post-apocalyptic reality, and partly in a lush metaphysical realm to which characters are transported at random times. Complex mythology, complete with magical people, demigods, and creatures, abounds. 

The main character is all too human, despite her magical powers. She has the same doubts and fears as all of us, but played out on a grander scale. She is the last of her people, and everything depends on her. This should lead to great conflict and suspense. 

However, a serious problem in the writing stems from the strength of the metaphysical characters. They are beings of such huge power that they manipulate the main character unmercifully, to the point where we no longer concern ourselves with how she is going to escape the latest crisis, because more often than not, the picture will fade to black at the key moment, and she will wake up in another reality with the conflict over. 

Another difficulty with the writing style is the large amount of explanation of actions, motivation, and feelings. Sometimes this happens at inopportune moments, where the action needs to be moving to create suspense. Otherwise, the action is pretty well non-stop, and fairly well described, although a bit repetitive.

But the major unfortunate flaw of this book is the amateurish writing. While the copy is relatively clean of proofing errors, his book has had the assistance of neither a developmental nor a copy editor. Faulty sentence structure, misuse of words (lie and lay, duel and dual, for example) and poor paragraphing occur regularly. Sudden point-of-view switches and frequent use of passive voice happen for no apparent reason. 

For example, what could this sentence possibly mean? 

“The slightest inkling of doubt could be fatal by ending the battle prematurely.”

With a good copy edit, this could be a fine book. With some developmental help, it could be a classic.

This is a to-be-continued story. I urge the author to find a good editor for the second installment. 

  

 

 

 


Reviewed by

Brought up in a logging camp with no electricity, Gordon Long learned his storytelling in the traditional way: at his father’s knee. He now spends his time editing, publishing, travelling, blogging and writing Fantasy, Sci-Fi and Social Commentary, although sometimes the boundaries blur.

Synopsis

Elinor, Kalloire’s last light-bearer, stands alone in a realm shrouded by perpetual darkness. After her father is killed by aurora-hunters she comes into possession of her tribes most sacred relic, a pendant that possesses uncanny abilities, and that has been handed down from one generation to the next. Surrounded and out-numbered by the enemy Elinor is forced to flee her home in search of a distant tribe that she believes can turn the tide of war in her favor.

Once she manages to slip behind enemy lines, however, Elinor soon realizes Kalloire is not as lifeless as she had been led to believe. She quickly becomes embroiled in tribal politics and fractured alliances that force her to form partnerships of her own. Across distant lands and a vast sea, eventually, Elinor arrives at her destination – Raven Rock – where she encounters the ruler of House Aysgarth who has been imprisoned since Kalloire’s downfall.

Together, they formulate a plan to free Kalloire from Evil’s stifling grasp. But in the end the cost of their alliance must be paid in blood…

CHAPTER ONE

In the far east, across a barren sea in a desolate and forgotten place, a light emerged in an empty sky. At first it shone lazily, moving without purpose. An ancient one took notice. Weary eyes that had witnessed the beginning, and the end of what once was, observed with astute clarity. In anticipation her arthritic hand tightened around a cane fashioned from bone. The light grew brighter. It descended against the backdrop of nothingness, a vast shroud that stretched from one bleak horizon to the other. A flaming tail emerged as an orb accelerated over a land laid to waste. It drew nearer. Then a cosmic roar erupted and rosy hues of streaming light burst outward, throwing the ancient one to the ground when the orb impacted bone-riddled earth.

Slowly, the ancient one clambered to her feet. All that remained of the brilliant light was a ray of shallow radiance originating from the impact site. Waddling from one foot to the other, she carefully navigated a heavily damaged landscape. She coughed, clearing her airway as she pushed through the settling dust. On the edge of a crater she paused, staring eagerly at the fallen object while listening to its familiar hum. It cooed, pitching high and low. When her hand stiffly rose from her side, the recently born testalar throbbed. Her coy smirk faded as an ominous gust tried to smother the testalar’s brilliance. Loose soil spilled over the crater’s rim, covering the marquise-shaped object, and subduing its droning signal. The ancient one’s hand shot out. And in an elder tongue, using a forgotten language, she proclaimed in a gravelly voice, “Ash-car-ah—Awaken.”

The ground shook and splintered around her. Light particles raced outward from the dissolving testalar. The ancient one’s skin changed from dull gray to arctic white; her tawny eyes radiated between their natural color and that of rich green; a heavily worn and soiled cloak turned white with gold-colored stitching along the seams; stubby horns that grew from her upper forehead lost their patina, becoming youthful in the transition; and thinning white hair grew silver. Her cane lengthened and thinned, morphing from animal bone into a crystalline staff. Curved prongs formed at the top. As the particles coursing through her body reemerged, they coalesced at the top of her staff again into a testalar. Her appearance was one of youth while she still possessed the keen mind of experience.

Obscure lightning flashed across the sky, signaling displeasure with her transformation. She ignored the warning with a pestilent stare. The ancient one turned from the impact site and stared wide-eyed over a ravaged vista. Another gust slammed against her, pushing her back. With gritted teeth and a clenched fist, she dug in. The wind howled. The ancient one used both hands to firmly clutch her staff. The testalar flashed green with short pauses between. Her eyes glowed in sync with the flashes and then the cane’s tapered end was driven forcefully against the ground. A circular pulse shot outward, silencing the land. She smoothed her tousled hair. The ground trembled in a final warning. The ancient one responded with a simple nod and a pursed smile as if she were acknowledging the existence of an old friend. Then her staff was driven downward again, the act consuming her in brightness, and leaving in her place a white raven. The bird’s rocking call softened the grasp of perpetual darkness.

No activity yet

No updates yet.

Come back later to check for updates.

Comments

About the author

Skylar Gentry is a lover of all things "fantasy". As a Contemporary Erotica and Dark Fantasy Author, Skylar focuses on developing vulnerable characters that readers can relate to. view profile

Published on March 31, 2021

70000 words

Contains mild explicit content ⚠️

Worked with a Reedsy professional 🏆

Genre:Fantasy

Made with Reedsy
Learn more
Reviewed by