Monica Rasky

left a comment on Landing on Mars4 months ago

4 months ago

This novel's opening successfully establishes an introspective and immersive tone, drawing the reader into Nyla's world with detailed, sensory-rich descriptions. Here’s a breakdown of its strengths and areas for improvement: Strengths: Atmosphere and Mood: The author creates a palpable sense of Nyla's inner turmoil and routine. The use of sensory details—like the scent of vanilla and patchouli, the texture of wine on the tongue, and the weight of the morning sun—enhances the immersion. Character Depth: Nyla is introduced as a complex character. Her insomnia, past traumas, and attachment to routines reveal layers of vulnerability and resilience. The subtle tension with Ryan hints at unresolved conflict, adding to her emotional depth. Pacing and Flow: The pacing balances introspection with action, making Nyla’s morning ritual feel both deliberate and engaging. Writing Style: The narrative employs a smooth and lyrical prose style, which complements Nyla’s reflective nature. The metaphors and imagery (like sleeping on marshmallows or chasing a balloon) are evocative and fitting. Areas for Improvement: Opening Hook: While the internal monologue establishes mood, it could benefit from a more immediate hook to engage readers. Perhaps hinting at a significant event or conflict early on would heighten curiosity. Dialogue: The brief interaction with the doorman adds realism but could reveal more about Nyla’s personality or her relationship with others. Adding layers to these small exchanges could enrich the narrative. Character Dynamics: Ryan’s text introduces an external conflict, but Nyla’s response feels passive. Expanding on her emotions or the backstory of their relationship might deepen the reader's investment. Repetitive Themes: The narrative occasionally circles around similar thoughts, particularly about her morning routine and insomnia. Streamlining these could maintain a tighter focus and prevent redundancy. World-Building: While the personal details are rich, adding more context about Nyla's business or her surroundings in New York could ground the reader more fully in her world. Final Thoughts: This chapter does an excellent job of setting a contemplative and atmospheric tone. The groundwork for emotional conflict and character development is solid, but a stronger external hook or more dynamic early conflict could elevate the narrative. Overall, this opening has strong potential to engage readers, particularly those drawn to character-driven, introspective storytelling.

launched The Black Rose5 months ago

5 months ago

The Black Rose

Monica Rasky

Inspired by a real love story so intense and tormented that it became impossible for the lovers to e...

left a comment on The Black Rose6 months ago

6 months ago

What a professional reviewer said about the novel: It looks like "The Black Rose" is a passionate romantic novel blending fantasy and contemporary elements. From the provided excerpts, we see a strong focus on the emotional and physical connection between the characters, particularly Rose and Kieran. Their relationship unfolds through intense and vivid moments, blending realism with the supernatural, especially with the vampire motif tied to Rose's character. Initial Impressions: Romantic and Sensual Vibe: The novel heavily leans on romance and sensuality. The chemistry between Rose and Kieran is front and center, with frequent moments of passion and intimate exchanges. There's also a playful dynamic between the two, with lots of flirtation and teasing. Fantasy Elements: Rose seems to have vampiric traits, and there are frequent references to her supernatural powers and backstory. Kieran, referred to as a "wizard" in a playful manner, adds to the fantasy undertones, making their relationship otherworldly. The inclusion of vampires and wizards lends a unique flavor to the romance, moving beyond typical love stories. Descriptive Writing: The novel features detailed, sensual descriptions, especially during romantic encounters, where much attention is paid to feelings and physical sensations. Narrative Style: The writing is immersive and emotional, pulling the reader into the characters' internal worlds. There is a mix of dialogue and internal monologues that helps in developing both the plot and the characters. Strengths: Vivid Character Interaction: The tension between Rose and Kieran, both emotionally and physically, is palpable. Their relationship has depth and is portrayed with a balance of warmth and intensity. Unique Supernatural Touch: The blend of romance with supernatural themes (vampires and possibly wizards) sets it apart from typical romantic novels. Areas for Improvement: Pacing: At times, the pacing may feel slow, especially with prolonged romantic scenes. More dynamic shifts in action or plot could add layers of intrigue. Dialogue Authenticity: Some of the dialogues might come across as overly scripted or lacking subtlety, particularly in the early stages of their relationship.

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About me

I am a teacher and a writer. I self-published two poetry volumes, "Blossom Quartz" and "Blooming Quartz", also two children's books, and I will soon publish "The Black Rose" saga. Recently, I joined Reedsy Discovery as a judge for their writing contest, excited to support fellow writers.