While it may seem inappropriate of me to copy an old girlfriend's letters and include them in yet another self-published memoir, I do so because, during the time I write about, phones were very scarce in Thailand, and Noy's letters were the only channel she had to share what her life was like right after I left her. I should also say that, although I quote very liberally from letters and other sources in this memoir, I've done research on this topic and believe I'm on the right side of the law when quoting long passages from other authors because of the nature of my writing. Thus, I believe intellectual property attorney Mike Fowler was right when he wrote as follows in item seven of a piece titled "Sixteen things writers should know when quoting from letters" on the Rights of Writers Blog (rightsofwriters.com): "As with any quotation," Fowler wrote, "the more you 'transform' what you are quoting--comment upon it, analyze it, criticize it, put it into a larger context--the more likely it is that your use will be found to be "fair use."  I've also been careful to reference sources, albeit with fictitious names when it seemed appropriate. In any case, Noy's first two letters were written entirely in Thai, and the next eight she wrote in English. Those ten letters, with the Thai language letters translated into English, along with my comments, are included in the first three chapters of this memoir.

December 7, 1973

 Jim, loved one

 You will have to read this letter in Thai, because I want to write you in Thai, because Noy always spoke with you in Thai when we were together. 

I miss you very much. Today is the 7th of December. In three days you will be 25. Noy would like to be with you on your birthday, but it’s impossible. Noy doesn’t know whether you’re still in Thailand or not. Some􀀁mes Noy thinks that Noy should go to America with you now, but it would surely not be good. We would certainly be sa􀀁sfied if we lived close together and could see each other every day, but we must live with your mother and father in their house. We don’t have any work to show that we can accept responsibility for ourselves. Noy would like to have you have some self pride and self-respect. Do you understand, Jim? I want you to be proud of yourself and respect yourself in everything that you do. That would be better than thinking nothing, wouldn’t it? 

You know that Noy would like very much for you to live in Thailand, but that’s a very selfish thing and it makes you uncomfortable. If you live in Thailand and just do nothing you already know how Noy thinks. Noy will wait for you, and won’t take off your ring either.  

On Tuesday Oscar came to Noy’s house. He said that he didn’t understand why you went back to America, because you may not find work in America, and he talked about books. He tried to make Noy smile a lot, and talked about politics too. He didn’t speak a lot about you. He must have known that Noy misses you a lot and that speaking about you makes Noy lonely. Noy missed you a lot

The weather in Nakhon Phanom is almost cold. The flowers are still pretty. The mountains and the river makes Noy miss you.

Noy met with Jiawn. He thought that Noy had a broken heart, because you’d gone, and won’t come back to Thailand. But Noy knows that Noy doesn’t have a broken heart even a little, because you love Noy, but Noy didn’t feel that it was necessary to explain that to him. Isn’t that so? Noy’s lonely but comfortable. What about you? 

December 19, 1973 

Dear Jim, 

I want to write you in English, but you know I’m not good at writng or speaking, only reading English fictions, and I’m not used to write anyone too. I mean in English. So can I write in Thai? I think you can still easily read Thai. Right? Noy has received many letters from you and read them many, many 􀀁times. They gave me a feeling that you’re near me not far away like this.

Noy will have four days off at the first of the year. Noy thinks that she’ll go to Roi-et Province to see her uncle who is the governor there. Might look for work at Roi-et too. It might be a different kind of work. It might be good, and it might not be good. I think God’s already prepared my tomorrow, and I don’t know how it will be. Everything in Nakorn Panome is the same. Noy sits and reads English 

fictions as she did before you left. If she’s very bored she writes letters to her friends in Bangkok. If Noy could get work in Bangkok, it might make things better. 

Noy meets with Joe often. He comes to my house and chats with my mother and father. He lets me be his little sister and gave me many rules to do at home and to make things go better between my parents and me. He said I will laugh at him, but I don’t. I know what I should do to satisfy my parents, but I didn’t. Maybe how childish I am, I don’t know. But I told Joe that I would try. How about this? Noy misses you very much Jim. Find work quickly so that we can meet sooner than the two years that you said.

December 21, 1973 

Dear Jim, 

I have many of your letters. I am fine. I think about us too. It is not selfishness if you love someone and you want her for yourself, dear Jim. I don’t think forever, no one can live forever, right. But I understand how you feel. If you are a selfish man then we will find selfish men very much in the world. Remember you asked me why do I love you and I answered I don’t know, and I’m s􀀁ll don’t know now, what a fool am I. But it’s true, Jim, I know now that I love you and that’s all, s􀀁ll no reason. I wear your ring, someone noticed it and said what a lovely ring it is. I will wear it 􀀁ll I meet you again. I hope to see you again and be with you. 

Everything at Salaglang are the same before you left􀀂. I sit at my place, reading, writing letters or some poems, have lunch at noon with Jiawn or Joe and sit at the front stairs in the evening for my car to pick me home. They (whoever) say how comfortable to be a government officer as me. I just smile and quiet, it is unnecessary to explain to them how I feel about hanging around like that. You know this too then I’d better stop talking about it. 

Joe gave my father egg plant plants and he will come to Tat Panome tomorrow (22) to explain how to plant and to see Oscar. I think he will just sit and listen to Oscar. Jiawn said he will come along. He [Joe] also loaned me many books just to look for fun and returned them when I finished. Am I so childish just to look at the pictures in the books? But he always make me smile and laugh.

 Love, Noy 

How I miss you, Jim. Everywhere at Salaglang and my home always remind to 

you all the time. Do you understand the English, Noy style.