Social skills have proved essential for the development of children. Children who are less social can be bossy, impatient, or demanding. Such children may face a host of different issues later in life and become shy, not talk at all or talk too much. Children with improved social skills have certain abilities:

·   They can break the ice; they can introduce themselves to anyone or invite someone to carry out an activity with them.

·   They know how to manage conflict. Such children know how to compromise and stand up for themselves when unreasonable demand is requested of them.

·   They show interest in their friends and other valuable relationships.

·   Socially successful children make eye contact; they listen, and offer help.

In society today, children and teens are faced with obstacles and challenges that the earlier generations weren't opportune to experience. Looking at Today’s world, technology and social media have taken the reins; as such, there is a need to observe the ways technology and social media have tampered with social interactions. In my experience as a teacher, I've heard students make statements like:

“I find it weird to talk to people over the phone; why should I do that?”

"I don’t know what people think about me when I talk to them over the phone.”

I have since been putting different thoughts into the questions and issues raised by students, and have wondered: How can we, as teachers, carers, educators, parents and clinicians teach the younger generation the necessary social skills to have in a world where face to face interactions and communications are now so reduced?

Over time, I have compiled a list of ways by which teachers, carers and parents can teach and encourage healthy and appropriate social skills in children and teens to combat the adverse effects social media may be having on their developing mind.

DEVELOPMENT TIPS

FOR CHILDREN:

1.      Role Play Self-Introduction

A child would ask:

“How do I talk to someone that I know little or nothing about?”

“What do I say?”

“Do we have common interests?”

In role-play, self-introduction with your child, assume the role of your child and let the child take the role of the supposed "new friend" he/she is meeting. The role-play of self-introduction will further lead to several discussions and should hopefully lead to questions like,

“How do I invite a friend over to the house for a playdate or sleepover?”

“How do I join a game that's started already?”

2.  Start a Game of Emotional Charades

More than often, face to face interactions for children with their peers are limited. As such, children are often finding it more difficult to read the emotional cues of others. For the game of emotional charades, write down different emotions on pieces of paper and give each emotion to each child. After this, you want to express or demonstrate the emotions across your face.

You can up the challenge by using other body parts to express the feelings. For instance, you can demonstrate or express the anger emotion by clenching your fists or cross your arms tightly on your chest. This will open an avenue for discussions and answer questions like:

"What are the situations that call for these emotions?"

“What do these emotions communicate?”

“How do you react to each emotional situation?”

Teach how to express emotions, let the child know the consequences of his or her actions which make others feel bad. Actions are connected to other people’s feeling and create a world around them.

3.  Match the Tone of Your Voice to an Emotion

This can be achieved in diverse ways, such as role-play, charades, voice recording and using examples from movies or TV shows. Sit with your child and identify all the emotions that are expressed and can be identified through the tone of voice of a person.

For instance, for sad emotion, a sad person will talk in a low or quiet tone. This will teach your child both how to register and read social cues others are giving off about their emotions, and how to react when they face those emotions in real life.

4.  Practice Taking Turns

Being patient and taking turns is not a simple task for children. Consider filing a colouring sheet or playing a game by taking turns.

5.  Use the Child’s Interests

If you find that a child has an interest or hobby, use it as an advantage by discussing social skills that are related to that interest. For instance, if a child plays hockey, you can ask questions like,

"How do you think your hockey team can work together?"

"What can you do to improve the mood of someone who's having a bad game?”

You can also use a child's interest to organise playdates and help the child form relationships with other children outside of those interests.

Always pay attention and nurture the interest of your child. If your child has an interest in something, explore it; find out more about it so that the interest does not die. Take the example of hockey: the communities dedicated to it should be your point of focus. Devote more of your time to nurture this interest, and water it so the seed does not die. Interest is like a seed that should bring fruits out if they are planted and are well cultivated, else they will die.

FOR TEENS:

6.  Volunteer for a Charity Work with Your Teen

Taking up a charity work with your teen will create an opportunity to work closely together. You can be precise and well assured that your teenager will follow your lead and example and in turn use the same etiquettes you used when working with his/her peers and other people.

7.  Play a Game that Allows You to Say Anything

This game is a board game that allows you to answer questions whichever way you choose. This board game is a fun way of enhancing communication. As the teacher or parent, you can point out the emotions you observe in your teens when they were sharing the answers to the game. Answering question is one-way children discover the world around them.

 8. Role Play Job Interview Skills

As a teacher, I have seen several teens who are anxious about the topic of a job interview. To ease this tension and anxiety in teens, provide a list of interview questions for role play. You play the role of the person being interviewed and your teen plays the role of the interviewer. From your answers to the interview questions, your teen will be able to create a visual example of how to engage interview questions correctly.

9.  Write a Letter Seeking for Help

Instead of giving in to every request of your teen on the spot, ask him/her to write a letter to you seeking help. More often than not, writing out our needs and feelings affords us the chance to take a step back from what is causing the distress and focus on addressing how we feel and the things we need. Not only will this be helping your teen to practice the skill of seeking help, it will most certainly also help them to identify their needs. Both perform an essential role in your teen’s success later in life.

10. Play the Awkward Moment Card Game

The awkward moment card game is an entertaining and fun game designed for teens. It engages scenarios that aren't comfortable, where the players have to submit a reaction to the uncomfortable scenarios. This game provides the opportunity for teens to talk about social situations that are not comfortable, and practice thinking on the spot on how to escape or deescalate the awkwardness of the situation.