Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.

–Bill Nye

Listening Is a Skill

It might seem rather unusual to start off a communication book with a chapter on listening. However, the best communicators are exceptionally good listeners—and this is no coincidence either. Active listening, which is the ability to listen with intention, is what drives a conversation forward.

The speaker shares a thought, you catch it and process it in your mind, then produce a similar or counter thought for the speaker to catch and process. This constructive exchange of ideas leads to deeper insights and mutually beneficial outcomes. But unfortunately, active listening is not something you are born with. In fact, research has shown that the average person remembers only 25% of what they heard (Smith, 1958).

Your natural human tendency is to enter conversations, armed with your preconceived ideas. Instead of listening to the message being spoken in its entirety, your mind is prone to filter the information and look for evidence for or against your own ideas. It is more concerned with being right or making sure that your ideas are given enough air time than seeking to understand what the other person has to say. In doing so, you miss plenty of opportunities to influence others because—put simply—you can’t remember what they told you!

Listening is a skill that you can strengthen each time you accurately acknowledge and interpret spoken communication. This skill is vital in running a successful business because in order to be on the same page, your staff will need to exchange ideas and messages on a regular basis. At some point, usually during the onboarding process, you will also need to communicate your company’s vision, values, and mission statement. You hope and pray that the new hire is able to listen effectively and translate your core business messages in the quality of their work and in their interactions with customers.

It is common to confuse listening skills with hearing abilities. Perhaps it is because the concepts are so similar. Hearing refers to registering sound in your ears. It is an automatic process that doesn’t require much thought. When someone is speaking to you, you can hear their voice without much effort, but this doesn’t mean that you are listening. There is more focus required when you are listening because the intention is to pay attention to what is being said.

The strength and quality of your concentration is what makes you a good listener; you are able to concentrate on both verbal and non-verbal cues. Not only do you hear the tone of voice, you listen to the way a message is phrased, the fresh perspective being shared, and the emotions behind the words. During this process, your point of view is put aside because you cannot effectively listen to someone while being distracted by your own thoughts.

Types of Listening

Listening is often listed as a “soft skill,” but when you assess the number of work tasks and processes that require effective listening, you quickly realize that it should be considered a “success skill.”

Evaluating the business landscape nowadays, you will notice that many companies are built around collaboration. It is becoming more uncommon to find employees or work teams that function independently. Imagine how difficult collaboration becomes when there is miscommunication between employees or teams—or when the business strategies that you have laid out are lost in translation.

The same miscommunication occurs when different types of listening are used. While information is being received, it isn’t processed in the same way. In a group setting, this usually means that the same message is interpreted in multiple ways and everyone walks away with a different understanding of what took place or what was spoken. Of course, the best way to avoid this is to ensure that everyone applies the same type of listening.

There isn’t any particular type of listening that is wrong, however, as it is important for an organization to set an expectation of what kind of listening is suitable for each context. In general, all types of listening are based on two main types: discriminative and comprehensive listening.

Discriminative Listening

You started learning discriminative listening when you were in your mother’s womb, as you attempted to make sense of different sounds produced in your environment. The aim wasn’t to understand the words spoken, but to recognize different voices, like the voices of your parents.

The more life experience you gained, the more nuanced your discriminative listening became. Not only could you recognize different voices, but you could learn and interpret different languages, tones of voice, and cues about the emotional experiences of the speaker.

For example, by listening to the sound of someone’s voice, you can tell if they are annoyed or being condescending. This additional information adds a layer of depth in how you understand the message being conveyed. When discriminative listening skills are used in conjunction with visual cues, you are able to listen to someone while taking note of their body language.

In most cases, one will confirm the other. An annoyed coworker is more likely to display defensive body language, like crossing their arms or avoiding eye contact. Without them even speaking, you would have been able to tell that they were unhappy, but listening to their voice just confirms the signs written in their body language.

But don’t be fooled—you are bound to come across passive-aggressive coworkers who try very hard to mask their true feelings. In this case, their body language may not match up with their tone of voice or language. Usually, you will need to ask for clarification by pointing out what you are noticing. For instance, you might say “Daniel, I hear what you are saying, but by the look on your face, I can tell you are not satisfied with this resolution. Am I correct in saying this?” The speaker will then have another opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings, and you can once again compare their body language against what they are saying.

Comprehensive Listening

With comprehensive listening, words and phrases are crucial components required to interpret messages. Thus, to develop this type of listening skill, you must brush up on your vocabulary and language skills. However, even after doing so, you may still find it difficult to understand the point the speaker is trying to make. For example, a speaker who uses technical jargon or pompous words can easily confuse the listeners or make it difficult for them to extract the main ideas from their speech.

If you happen to listen to a coworker who speaks in this manner, you can ask them to simplify their language to make the message clearer. What always works with my team is asking employees to convey a message as though they were talking to a five-year-old. This helps them assess the type of vocabulary to use to get the message across in the best way. Another barrier to comprehensive listening is words with double meanings or the use of figurative language. Once again, seeking clarification can reduce the risk of misunderstandings and ensure that you are on the same page as the speaker.

From discriminative and comprehensive listening come various specific types of listening. Three of these are informational, critical, and empathic listening. Please note that these three subtypes fall under active listening and there are many more subypes than those mentioned here, though you will find that they are variations of these three subtypes. Below is an explanation of each subtype.

Informational Listening

When you are listening to a speech or presentation, you are engaging in informational listening. The purpose is to collect and retain information, so that you can recall it later on. It isn’t important to have an opinion about the information you are receiving because many times you will apply the information objectively.

For example, a manager might host a training seminar on how to operate a newly adopted system. All they expect from the employees present is to concentrate on what is being said, so that they can later operate the system without difficulty. There is often an expectation or instruction that comes with the information being shared. Thus, the extent to which employees are able to meet these expectations or follow the instructions shows how well their informational listening skills are.

Critical Listening

Having an opinion is considered appropriate when you are encouraged to use critical listening. The intention of sharing information is so that it can be evaluated and scrutinized. Employees may be presented with a challenge that they need to find solutions to, and in order to do this they have to analyze existing information and explore new ideas.

To avoid critical listening meetings that go around in circles and don’t lead to any constructive outcome, ensure that you set meeting or brainstorming objectives that will help to facilitate the discussion. For instance, every now and again, you will assess whether the information being analyzed is helping you reach the objectives laid out or not. This can also be a great way to improve the quality of ideas being expressed by employees.

On a day-to-day basis, your team will rely on critical listening skills to make informed decisions. The extent to which you as the leader have taught your employees how to evaluate what is considered helpful or harmful to the business will determine how confident they are to make good decisions. One of the ways you can groom employees to be effective in making good business decisions is to spend time sharing and reinforcing the company values, beliefs, goals, and culture. When they are clear about what is favorable for the business, they can use critical listening skills to scrutinize business opportunities and evaluate what is required for business growth.

Empathic Listening

Listening empathically involves stepping inside the shoes of the speaker and attempting to see the situation from their perspective. The aim is to connect to the other person’s experience and understand why they think or feel the way they do. Empathic listening should not be confused with giving sympathy because it isn’t mandatory for you to agree or relate to what the speaker is saying.

For example, in a disciplinary hearing an employee may explain the reasons behind their low performance and sight factors that you have not personally experienced before, like going through a divorce. As a leader, you may not even have sympathy for them because of how your mindset is set up, and how differently you would have acted given the same situation.

However, even without agreeing with them, you can still imagine the impact that going through a divorce might have on their work. You might say, “I can imagine how difficult it is to go through a divorce and still maintain focus at work. It must not be easy for you.” Your goal is to validate their experience and accept that it is their reality. Once you have reached an understanding, it can be easier to think of appropriate consequences or company policies to put in effect moving forward.

Cognitive Biases That Cause Miscommunication

Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to empathize with another person? For many of us, this skill doesn’t come easily. We are so fixated on our thoughts and assumptions, and will sometimes fight tooth and nail to prevent others from challenging them. We comfort ourselves by believing we are logical leaders, but the truth is that many of our perceptions are based on cognitive biases.

A cognitive bias is a mental shortcut that occurs during processing and interpreting information. This mental shortcut is informed by preconceived ideas that influence how you think and make decisions. Cognitive biases are not entirely bad. After all, the human brain relies on mental shortcuts to conserve energy, make quick decisions, and carry out repetitive processes.

However, what makes cognitive biases harmful, especially as a leader, is that they prevent you from interpreting new information for its merits and unique attributes. You fall into the trap of basing your understanding of new information on what you have heard, seen, or experienced in the past. Below are five types of cognitive biases that cause miscommunication:

Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias occurs when you often favor information that confirms, or reinforces, your existing beliefs. In a conversation, for example, you might only pay attention when topics that you are interested in are brought up, or you might only engage with people who share the same viewpoint as you. If you are doing business-related research, you might only search for information that supports your mission, overlooking any perceived threats like information that would present disadvantages.

Informative listening becomes tougher when you are functioning under confirmation bias. Since you are less motivated to consider all of the facts, you may struggle to think in a rational manner. Even objective data will be interpreted subjectively because subconsciously your mind is seeking to confirm what it believes to be true. The danger to this is that your cognitive reasoning capacity is limited and you are unable to solve complex or newly emerging problems in innovative ways. You may also find it difficult to get along with employees who challenge your ideas or provide different perspectives during team discussions.

Hindsight Bias

This type of cognitive bias typically occurs “after the fact.” When you are presented with certain information, you may claim that you knew it all along. Life events and outcomes are treated as predictable, even when they are random and unexpected. For example, if a new product doesn’t sell as well as you would have hoped, you might think that the signs were always there. You might say “Oh, I knew the price point was too high,” rather than looking at the results and examining what mistakes you might have made.

What makes hindsight bias dangerous is that it predicts that past patterns or outcomes can predict future patterns and outcomes. After a few failed attempts at a project, you might assume that you can predict the outcomes of your future actions, which, of course, is not possible. This can lead to risk aversion or making unwise decisions based on unfounded predictions.

Anchoring Bias

When you are operating under the anchoring bias, you have a tendency of making decisions or basing your opinion on the first piece of information that you receive. A typical example is listening to a negative report about the economy on the evening news and allowing that single piece of information to inform your business strategy moving forward. The source of the anchoring information also plays a role in the extent to which it influences your decision-making. The more credible the source is perceived, the more likely you are to hold onto that information.

But not all information is reliable, and when you base your decisions on questionable data, you can put your business at risk. Research shows that businesses lose up to 20% of their revenue as a result of poor quality of data (Rongala, 2020). It is therefore important to not have a single source or channel for sourcing information, but a few of them so that you can compare and evaluate the consistency of the data.

False Consensus Effect

The false consensus effect occurs when you erroneously overestimate how much people agree with your ideas, values, and beliefs. For example, you might think that everybody on your work team shares the same interests and attitudes as you, or perhaps they have the same drive to achieve company goals.

The danger with this type of cognitive bias is that it fails to recognize people as unique individuals with various needs—which may or may not align with your needs as a leader. It can cause miscommunication in leadership because instead of communicating your expectations, you assume that employees know what is expected of them. You may also fall into the trap of overvaluing your ideas, making it harder to empathize with employees’ experiences.

Halo Effect

The halo effect tends to occur when discriminative listening is practiced, and heavily relied upon, without comprehensive listening. Your opinion about a person is based on the first impression. Typically, a metaphoric halo is given to people you are attracted to, or who you perceive as confident. This conclusion is drawn mostly from physical characteristics and positive body language.

For example, in the recruitment process, the halo effect occurs when attractive candidates are perceived as being more reliable or smarter than unattractive candidates. The same applies when a confident candidate is perceived as being more competent than a candidate who is shy. By making a first impression based on their body language, you might assume that you can trust them. The danger with the halo effect is that first impressions are not always accurate. A positive impression of someone doesn’t prove much about their skills and competency (you can also remember this when looking for supplies and other business partners).

It is difficult to avoid cognitive biases, especially when making quick decisions. As a leader, you won’t always have the time to collect various data and weigh the pros and cons of information before formulating your opinion. However, you can reduce cognitive biases by practicing active listening and focusing on what someone is saying, rather than what you perceive about their verbal and non-verbal communication. Be present during conversations and absorb the information as though it were the first time you are hearing it. The fewer mental shortcuts you make, the easier it will be to accept fresh perspectives.

Don’t Fix What Isn’t Yours to Solve

Tasty Catering is a US-based catering service business that employs 50 full-time employees and 100 seasonal employees. The company started out as a hot dog restaurant co-founded by three brothers. The idea to expand the business came about when an increasing number of customers would ask for private catering services. Needless to say, the team of staff grew rapidly, and a stronger company culture was needed to better manage employees.

The co-founders instilled a culture of ownership, where employees would be held accountable to the company values and the quality of their work. There just wasn’t enough hours in a day for managers to oversee employees or solve unexpected issues that would arise suddenly. To take ownership of their work, employees had to improve on their listening skills.

This meant that instead of looking to managers to solve their daily work challenges, they had to first evaluate possible solutions on their own. The company encouraged employees to come up with three solutions to their problems before approaching their team leaders. Over time, employees became more resourceful and saw themselves as capable decision-makers.

It is the job of a leader to be a problem-solver. In fact, solving business-related issues are part of the day-to-day tasks of many small businesses. However, there is a limit, particularly when it comes to responding to “emergencies” of your employees. The larger or busier your business gets, the more work and responsibility you will need to entrust to your team. Solving their problems for them won’t reinforce good listening skills.

Rather than searching for answers on their own and making informed decisions, they will become dependent on your involvement in both small and large operational tasks. Before you know it, your full-time job will be attending to everyone else’s needs and not spending enough time on big picture tasks. Being a problem-solving leader can also disrupt workflow and lead to micromanaging.

Some of the leadership issues you may experience include:

●     Overvaluing data and undervaluing the opinions and perspectives of employees.

●     Viewing decisions made by your employees with skepticism and needing more reassurance before you sign off on a decision.

●     Approving ideas or choices that are closely related to your personal views, rather than scrutinizing the information for what it’s worth.

●     Overplanning for potential negative outcomes and investing very little time on assessing the potential positive outcomes.

●     Wearing employees down with many questions that lead to paralysis by analysis (overthinking without making any substantial progress).

Taking a step back and giving employees the time and space to solve their own problems can teach them how to take ownership of their work and become confident contributors in the company. You also won’t need to repeat information over and over again, since you have set an expectation for employees to actively listen, process, and learn company policies, processes, and standards.

The next time an employee presents a problem, listen empathically but don’t aim to be the solution provider. Create a culture of good listening by empowering them to dynamically solve their own problems. Don't allow them to “give” you their problem, as it belongs to them. You can always offer ideas, but ask them first “What could you do about this? What are your options?”

Applying the Mirroring Technique for Effective Listening at Work

One of the techniques you can practice to improve communication in your team is mirroring. This involves mimicking the verbal and non-verbal language of another person. The goal of mirroring isn’t to mock, offend, or manipulate another, but rather to gain a richer understanding of their perspectives and experiences.

As a leader, it is not natural for you to think like an employee. Even if you spent the last 15 years or so as an employee before becoming an entrepreneur, your new role requires a mindset shift. Therefore, when communicating to your team members, you will need to consciously step out of your role as leader and listen empathically. The mirroring techniques help you do this in an authentic and respectful manner. Some of the various workplace situations where mirroring can increase cooperation and understanding include:

●     When hosting a meeting, mirroring can help you steer the direction of the discussion toward your desired outcome. By taking everyone’s ideas and opinions into consideration, they are more likely to trust and support your guidance.

●     Mirroring can be valuable when establishing a new team or strengthening an existing one. Instead of employees feeling like subordinates, they are reassured of their valuable contribution to the company.

●     When resolving conflict between coworkers, or issuing disciplinary measures, mirroring can make employees feel heard, rather than judged. Your calm tone of voice, open body language, and affirming words can reduce defensive behavior and create an environment for constructive communication to take place.