Today I woke up and decided to press play.
No more pausing, waiting or unnecessary delay.
I’ve accepted I can’t go back to fix and rewind.
I don’t want to relive or fast forward time.
I’ll grow from the lessons bestowed upon me.
And know with full faith here is where I should be.
No questions to ask, no doubt left to fill.
I’ll remain on my task of peace and freewill.
I awoke from the slumber, with intentions to dive.
In all the discomfort, we run from and hide.
No malice, no judgement, no hatred no pride.
No ego, no torture no place for this to reside.
Farewell to the creature who had not one clue.
Hello to this beautiful soul, it’s way overdue.
We spend the first half of our lives learning how to obey rules and what’s
expected of us. Some of us break free from expectations and spend the
next half exploring life on our terms, realigning with our purpose, finding
our passions. Others aren’t as lucky forcing the universe to push us into
directions turned into lessons, heartbreaks and tears- living the true
definition of insanity until we finally get it. I’ve been there; in the ugliest,
darkest, coldest, loneliest places thinking I deserved it every time, ready
to surrender into a deeper hell. Something happened one day...I snatched
up the storm in formation and flipped it upside down. I embraced my tears
and was happy I could love so hard. I felt my heart aching in pain and
told myself- this will pass. I knew I had been here before but this time felt
different, I had the power to control how deep I wanted to fall. Emotional
pain lasts a few minutes and anything after that is the energy we are giving
it to keep it alive. What about giving that energy back to source (yourself)
and keeping you alive?
I’m sorry for torturing you with the most negative thoughts in every
I’m sorry for keeping you sheltered.
I’m sorry for downplaying your intelligence to make others feel better.
I’m sorry for not taking care of you.
I’m sorry for abusing your heart.
I’m sorry for turning my back on you.
I’m sorry for not loving you.
I’m sorry for never thinking you were good enough.
I’m sorry for allowing you to think your life was worthless.
I’m sorry for allowing anyone to dictate your feelings.
I’m sorry for being your enemy.
I’m sorry for not letting you grow.
I’m sorry for hurting you.
I’m sorry for not being your friend.
I’m sorry I didn’t inspire you with creativity.
I’m sorry for not letting us live.
I’ve been working on loving myself to a capacity where no one can infiltrate,
manipulate or influence who I am. I used to have this wall up when I met
people, letting them in layer by layer until I didn’t recognize who I was
anymore. My energy was heavy, I was in a constant worry and I felt lost. I
was right where others wanted me to be; vulnerable and unfocused. I had
no voice, I felt guilty for being creative and I felt my purpose was to make
others feel good...even if that meant I didn’t. I made people uncomfortable
in my comfort. These layers were everything that made me who I am and
for mere acceptance from others, I allowed them to nip away and steal
whatever they can strengthen in themselves. I was broken down to nothing
until all I had left was a reflection of someone who wanted to be loved.
I began to ground myself to help protect my energy and differentiate my
emotions from others, quickly realizing these burdens weren’t mine to
carry. In doing so, I fell so in love with who I was and started accepting
who I was becoming. I found the light that so many have dimmed. People
can have so much influence on us, especially if you’re an empath. The best
part about these energies not originating from you is THAT exactly- you
don’t own them, so stop allowing them to own you.
Meditate to gain clarity, listen to your intuition and decide where your
loyalty stands- with your sanity, happiness and health or with toxic,
negative and draining vibes? You can love people from afar, love people and
not fuck with them, love people without becoming them.
Repeat “I love you, but I love myself more.”
It’s become a task too much to bare.
It’s painfully exciting to be self-aware.
I’m done listening to lies I pretend to believe.
I’m not that oblivious and far from naïve.
It’s a struggle to remain silent when the garbage that’s shared sounds like
whimsical knowledge to others’ ears.
There’s a thin line that will never have full balance when you are awake; you
either remain a little warm hearted or completely desolate.
I am struggling to shift myself into the perfect equation that eliminates
frustration and enhances my vibration.
Forever chasing intoxicating revelations to feed this high and increase my
Listen to that inner whisper; those puzzling words that softly echo in your
head. The ones that tend to go ignored. We hear them over and over…
“This isn’t good for you…. this isn’t right…. that’s not the truth…. you
know better…that was odd…” Engage in those feelings that surface; the
comfort, the hurt the love or the pain. Our true self knows when something
is wrong. It is our physical body that fights this awareness. We become the
complex human that can’t feel and think simultaneously so we diminish one
trait to enhance the other.
But we know.
We know within the first few moments what energies will elevate our
vibes and which ones will deceive it. We are aware of betrayal when action
is nothing more than a transparent seed. We are in love’s forecast when
comfort sings and vulnerability tickles.
Yet we fight both.
We inadvertently confuse the two and redefine a thief of hearts for
an eloquent charmer. Sometimes it’s as if the universe wants to send
a reminder of these vibrational forces that weave into our aura with
And still, we fail to listen.
Until our hearts are pierced, we disengage with all the answers within our
Wishing farewell in full certainty to an old and vaguely acquainted part of
my story…and fearlessly welcoming all the unfamiliar serene specs of life
waiting to latch onto me.
People aren’t ready for the truth. They want a raw form of emotions but are
incapable to reciprocate the vulnerability that comes with being honest.
We have been cursed to coexist with unemotional creatures, lingering
around indestructible barriers, searching for an ethereal entity that will
ignite something within us. The truthful ones are constantly crushed and
disappointed with the trust they instill in the wrong souls. But what do we
do when that’s all that surrounds us? What do we do when wounded hearts
are patched with bullshit mediocracy? And the simplicity of remaining
unattached, selfishly loving themselves? These leeches scream, “Love me!
love me!” and run with a spark of light expecting to stay bright enough to
feed one of their own.
Invest in your vibe.
Constrict your energy.
Keep your chakras balanced.
Reinvent your roots.
Free your heart.
Brighten your aura.
Forgive, forget, move on.
Embrace the unfamiliar.
Indulge in nature.
Respect your vibrations.
Wander the wonders.