In 2022 I published a collection of poems in the book “Our Dementia Journey” charting my family’s experiences with dementia since my Dad’s diagnosis.

My Dad, also called Pat, was diagnosed with dementia several years ago. Over the last couple of years my Mum’s health has deteriorated from a physical perspective and she now has no mobility and suffers from a deal of pain. I live with my parents and am the main carer for them both, having retired early from my job in finance. The journey we are on since Dad was diagnosed with dementia is very much a family affair for Dad, my Mum Margaret, my sister Donna and my brother Steven.

As a carer for Dad I know how difficult both physically and emotionally dementia can be for both the person who has it and close family particularly those who are carers day to day. Relationships can be strained but also strengthened and I truly believe that love conquers all. Despite the pain, the dementia journey can still provide gifts of memories that will last forever.

It is true to say that no one person’s dementia journey is exactly the same as anyone else’s and it is also true to say that family members who are carers can go through moments of emotional despair when nothing they try to do seems to work.

It occurred to me in writing the book that caring for loved ones, no matter what illness or condition they have, is a similar journey for all carers certainly from an emotional perspective.

The collection of poems in this book is therefore aimed at and inspired by all of those on a caring journey.

It aims to highlight the journey they are on as well as celebrate what they are doing. At the same time it aims to help those on the caring journey through sharing my experiences, and those of others.

I should also add that I will receive no payment for any time or effort in writing the book and that all my royalties from the sales of this book will go to Alzheimers Research UK, the world’s largest dedicated dementia research charity, in the hope that it will go some way to helping find a cure which I am sure is the common wish of us all.

Finally, I hope you find this book useful on your journey. If so I would be very grateful if you would leave a review on Amazon, Goodreads, Reedsy or any other forum. It does so much to encourage other readers and to raise funds for Dementia Research.

Thank You

Pat

 Sample Poems:

Carers

Carers for the young

Carers for the old

Old caring for the young

Young caring for the old

Parents caring for their children

Children caring for their parents

Caring for people with illnesses of the mind

Caring for people with illnesses of the body

Carers unpaid and not recognised

Carers with a vocation and undervalued

Carers unseen with stories often untold

Always remember you are many in number and not on your own

Share your stories and needs with each other and don’t be alone

Look after your loved one but look after yourself too

What you are doing is wonderful so always stand tall

The poems in this book are to celebrate you one and all

The Wind and the Waves

The winds of dementiabeating constantly again, again, again against the

caregiver

Repeating, challenging, following, aggressive winds

Suddenly a wave of emotion rises loudly, angrily, full of frustration

A cry for help by both the wind and the wave

The call goes out to the family rescuers lifeboat to come to the aid of us all

Then the wave crashes on to the beach, and slowly runs up the warm soft sands

as the wind stills

The beach strewn with guilt, tiredness, tears and love

Sorry Dad

when I get impatient with you

when I don’t understand what YOU are going through

when I try to hurry you along

when I don’t listen to YOUR song

when I lose my temper with you

when I am trying so hard not to

when everyday things get in the way

when they stop us making a great day

when I don’t see what is bothering you or giving you pain

when I can’t make it go away and not come back again

when I feel so tired and frail

when despite doing my best for you I fail

but …

I will always remember the real you.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me as much as I love you

 Silent Scream

A silent scream

You know what I mean

Sometimes it is needed, to let off steam

It is loud and it is clear

But no one can hear

And it is nothing to fear

It can help with your sanity

And sometimes bring clarity

Releasing emotions from within

Letting calmness back in

Best done in your private place

Where no-one can see your face

You are after all only part of the human race