This book started out as a final love letter to my family before I boarded a plane. But let me rewind a bit. As the world was watching the crisis unfold in Ukraine during the Russian invasion, I found myself far away, stationed at the US Embassy in Guatemala. One early morning, a colleague from Ukraine reached out, drawing me into a chapter of my life I never anticipated.

The Ukraine Mission was short-staffed in the foreign assistance effort during the summer of 2023—a critical transition time for foreign service staff, and the assistance package was swelling to unprecedented levels. They needed someone with my skill set to help co-manage the program office at USAID through the summer. I’d never been in an active warzone, but I felt a deep urge to help, even if just for a short period, and it was deeply fulfilling.

Before my departure, my colleague, Erin, gave me some sobering advice. She said I should get my affairs in order—including my will, finances, everything—just in case things went south. She was right; with a heavy heart, I hurried to sort everything out. I prepared myself for that summer—mentally, physically, and emotionally. In preparation for this, I started writing letters to my family in case I didn’t return home. At the time, my twin boys were seventeen and my daughter was eleven. If I hadn’t headed to Ukraine for the summer, I would have spent more quality time exploring colleges and gap-year options with my boys, who were on the cusp of leaving the roost. I wanted to leave all three of them with something encouraging and some life advice. 

Writing the letters was difficult. How do you condense a lifetime of advice and love into mere words? There was just too much to say. I timed these letters to send out after my expected return date, but I felt highly unresolved about these letters.

Fortunately, I never had to send the letters. Yet this whole process of writing and reflecting got me thinking—there was so much advice I wanted to pass on to my three children, and I was fully aware that my boys were already becoming young men. So, I just kept writing. Initially, it was for them, but then it hit me—the insights, advice, and skills I wanted to share could help anyone. 

That’s how the idea for this book came about. It is a no-nonsense compendium of game-changing life skills. It is a practical guide for anybody who wants to enter adulthood skillfully and seize every opportunity to live a richer, more fulfilling life.

Each chapter covers a different pillar of success—developing a winning mindset, goal mastery and productivity, a healthy lifestyle, boosting brainpower, people skills, money skills, and learning to learn and lead. Throughout this book’s drafting, I was most fortunate that my children helped me edit my work through thoughtful reviews and dialogue, which was tremendous.

Searching for Gold

Back when my kids were little, we lived on a twelve-acre piece of forested land in rural Virginia. There was a local rumor that there might be gold buried there. David and Zack, my twin boys, would spend hours wandering through the woods and along the creeks on our property, sometimes searching for this rumored gold. Their adventures helped them pick up some excellent skills for exploring the wilderness.

We sold the land before we ever found out if the gold rumors were true. My wife, Amy, and I decided to join the US Foreign Service, and that decision led us to move our whole family to Central Asia, a place entirely new for us. This pivotal moment marked a new chapter for us, turning our family into world travelers. This experience turned out to be a more extraordinary adventure than we ever imagined, a chance of a lifetime that we just could not pass up. Sometimes, the gold we seek is in the seeking, and the prize is beyond our imagination.

Throughout my life, I've been deeply inspired by compassionate idealists and humanitarians—those extraordinary individuals who dedicate themselves to the betterment of our world. They are, in every sense, my soulmates in spirit and purpose. This profound admiration propelled me into the Foreign Service, particularly in the dynamic field of international development. My heart was set on contributing to the global fight against poverty, dedicating my efforts to a cause greater than myself, and genuinely making a difference.

My respect and admiration for my global development colleagues have only grown. These dedicated agents of change tirelessly work toward a world of peace and freedom. Their commitment continues to renew my faith in our shared ability to make transformative impacts worldwide, whether working to end poverty, champion human rights, or enhance global health and education. And, yes, it’s some very tough work!

At the root, this job involves helping more people at scale to find and unlock their untapped talents—a different sort of gold. Everybody has inherent worth and a wealth of talent, but sometimes, this innate talent needs to be discovered, unlocked, and cultivated. If you take the time to try new things and invest in yourself, you can discover and use your talents well. Learning, and especially developing the right skills, is key to this.

A skill is an aptitude or ability to do something competently. You can learn skills with sufficient focus, time, and energy. Sometimes, people confuse an acquired skill with a natural quality. Unfortunately, that misunderstanding might be why some people do not invest in improving specific skills. The skills covered in this book all support each other, and together, they can help you live a well-rounded life. There’s no silver-bullet solution to living life to its fullest, but developing a range of life skills is a critical part of the equation. Skills acquired are tools that become part of who we are and what we can accomplish.

Some people think they can’t change or improve themselves, but that’s a limited, fixed mindset. Believing that can trap you in a cycle where you don’t even try to get better. But if you shift your perspective, learn new things, and stay open to growth, you can go beyond what you thought was possible.

This book is about learning success life skills—essential skills that will unlock success in all areas of life. We all have different talents, but we discover and develop those talents by developing and applying relevant skills. There is always some skill you can work on improving. You hold the key but must unlock it and walk through that door yourself.

CONTENTS

ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATIONS

INTRODUCTION

LEVEL 1: CULTIVATE A WINNING MINDSET

  Skill 1: Pay Attention!

  Skill 2: Believe in Yourself

  Skill 3: Emotional Intelligence

  Skill 4: Resilience + Grit

  Skill 5: Mindful Presence

  Skill 6: Reflective Journaling

  Skill 7: Discovering Your Passion

LEVEL 2: DREAM IT, THEN DO IT

  Skill 8: Goal Crafting

  Skill 9: Prioritization Mastery

  Skill 10: Systematizing Productivity

  Skill 11: Time Management

  Skill 12: Digital Detox

  Skill 13: Finding the Good Enough

  Skill 14: Forming Better Habits

LEVEL 3: NOURISH YOUR BODY AND MIND

  Skill 15: Healthy Eating

  Skill 16: Nutrition Essentials

  Skill 17: Preparing Meals

  Skill 18: Physical Fitness

  Skill 19: Sleep Hygiene

  Skill 21: Mental Health Awareness

  Skill 22: Stress Management

LEVEL 4: BOOST YOUR BRAINPOWER

  Skill 23: Brain Nutrition

  Skill 24: Critical Thinking

  Skill 25: Memory Enhancement

  Skill 26: Learning Acceleration

  Skill 27: Creative Thinking

  Skill 28: Language Learning

  Skill 29: AI Fluency

LEVEL 5: BUILD BRIDGES, BREAK BARRIERS

  Skill 30: Truly Listening

  Skill 31: Empathy

  Skill 32: Assertiveness

  Skill 33: Public Speaking

  Skill 34: Conflict Resolution

  Skill 35: Networking

  Skill 36: Remembering Faces and Names

  Skill 37: Working in Teams

  Skill 38: Relationship Building

  Skill 39: Valuing Diversity

LEVEL 6: MASTER MONEY MATTERS

  Skill 40: Wealth Mindset

  Skill 41: Accounting for Your Money

  Skill 42: Budgeting and Saving

  Skill 43: Investing Basics

  Skill 44: Credit and Debt Management

  Skill 45: Strategic Risk Management

  Skill 46: Insurance Fundamentals

  Skill 47: Entrepreneurship

  Skill 48: Retirement Planning

LEVEL 7: LEARN TO LEARN AND LEAD

  Skill 49: Learning to Learn: the Skill of Skills

  Skill 50: Learn to Lead

NOTES

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

INDEX

ABOUT THE AUTHOR