Every day, the average person spends around eight hours engaging with screens—more time than they spend sleeping. This fact is even more pronounced for new parents, who often find themselves scrolling for comfort in the wee hours while feeding or rocking their baby. I wrote the majority of these chapters during those vulnerable first months with each of my boys. Watching them grow, I became increasingly fearful of the online world I'd been instrumental in building, a world they will soon be fully immersed in. This book is a deep dive into how those hours online are spent, what they’re doing to our minds and culture, and how we can better understand the digital world that’s become an integral part of our lives. I've spent the most recent part of my career teaching people how to protect themselves and their families from the dangers that the digital age poses whilst still empowering them to harness and adapt to the inevitable, ever-changing technological landscape. I think I do this largely in part to attempt to assuage a mounting guilt that I’ve been contributing for many years to some of the greatest problems of our lifetime.

In today's world, social media has become an inescapable presence, deeply woven into the fabric of our society. It has fundamentally altered the way we communicate, consume information, and engage with the world around us. With billions of users worldwide, spending an average of 145 minutes per day scrolling through feeds and engaging with content, the digital platforms we use every day have undeniably -and, many think somewhat tragically- become a central pillar of modern life. Navigating this new territory comes with more prominent and widely documented perils, such as sex crimes, data fraud and grooming, catfishing and hacking. But what about the less obvious and more insidious dangers of digital platforms? The burgeoning threat to our democratic system, the attack on our self-worth, or the equality recession? Amidst the endless scrolling and constant connection, how has social media reshaped our understanding of identity and togetherness? What are the long-term consequences of living in a digital ecosystem that thrives on likes, shares and validation? As our online lives become increasingly intertwined with our offline existence, how do we reconcile the digital and the real?

As we navigate the digital landscape, we find our virtual lives and real lives colliding in profound ways. The boundaries between online and offline existence blur, and the digital realm infiltrates our daily routines, relationships, and self-perception. A notification on our smartphones has the power to alter our mood, while a viral post can shape our worldview. We curate our online personas, carefully selecting the moments and aspects of our lives to share, often grappling with the dichotomy between authenticity and aspiration. Our online interactions can lead to real-world consequences, from building connections and mobilising for social change to experiencing cyberbullying or falling victim to online scams. Through social media, we can change our careers, find our next husband and learn how to make cheese. We can choose where to eat on holiday, buy a lumbar support cushion, tell anyone who will listen how much it’s changed our lives, and then sell it after discovering it three years later under the spare bed. 

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In the early days of social media, platforms like Myspace and blogs revolutionised online communication and self-expression. These spaces offered individuals unprecedented freedom to share their thoughts, creativity, and personal stories. At age 11, I created an “e-zine” on a web-hosting site that combined my passion for rescue donkeys, The Simpsons and Gareth Gates. It included a list of animal shelters and their phone numbers for making donations, a rudimentary interactive quiz to find out whether you were “more of a Bart or a Lisa”, and a Gareth page, a screenshot of which -upon reflection- could be used as evidence against me in court for any number of crimes (the page in question contained sections of The Unfortunate Mr Gates’ features -his tooth gap, his hair gel spikes, his freckles- roughly cut out on Microsoft Paint and left floating in a nightmarish rankings list of ‘cutest’ to ‘least cutest’). 

In this newness, suddenly, people could connect with like-minded individuals from around the world, creating virtual communities centred around shared interests and passions. It was a pivotal moment that challenged the traditional media gatekeepers and paved the way for democratised content creation. As social media evolved, platforms such as Facebook and Instagram gained prominence, forever altering the landscape of personal connections and social interactions. The rise of these platforms coincided with a shift in how we perceive and present ourselves to others. The pressure to curate a polished online presence and accumulate social validation through likes and comments became prevalent. I’ve been connected professionally to the social media industry for 15 years - since long before it became an industry. Throughout this time, I’ve worked with some of the biggest names online. I’ve represented women with a following of millions, walked red carpets with people who “post selfies” for a living, countersigned seven-figure contracts, and sweated through PR crises. I’ve sat in editing suites as people were picked apart for their imperfections – a spot on their chin, an unsightly armpit, or, heaven forbid, a stray hair! I’ve watched from the front row as women criticise and are criticised in an evergreen public forum.

Shockingly, I never made it to the Big Time with donkeysandsimpsonsaresocool.com, but millions of people with their own corners of the internet have. These individuals -many call them “Influencers”- have harnessed the power of social media platforms to build personal brands, amass large followings, and monetise their opinions on brands and products. Throughout my career, I’ve watched many digital content creators, some of them close friends, raised up and torn down by fans, the press, brands and each other. I have observed and been a part of the evolution of influencer culture and its impact on consumer behaviour. Like it or not, creators impact most peoples’ lives today, whether through the content they consume on their devices or the purchasing decisions they make. Social media's influence extends beyond personal lives. It has become a powerful tool for shaping the zeitgeist, influencing politics and social change, and impacting the economy. 

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My beginnings were humble. I was raised by a single mother who was raised by a single mother, and we lived in rented accommodations in small, quiet towns for the majority of my upbringing. Entering the world of corporate beauty PR felt like stepping onto the set of the Devil Wears Prada on acid, and I’ve always been unavoidably aware of how not at home I feel in the industry that has been my constant for my entire adult life. The industry which preaches body positivity whilst perpetuating unattainable beauty standards. Where brands compete to deliver the most diverse campaigns but whose workforce is in the overwhelming majority white, middle class and not disabled. In the past decade, the authenticity and transparency of influencer marketing have come under scrutiny. As we explore the rise of influencers, we must delve into the ethical implications of the ‘Creator Economy’ and the roles that those who exist in and earn money from it play in everyone’s lives. What responsibilities do social media creators and marketers carry as culture leaders? With most of the world online, the power to amplify voices, spark movements, and challenge established norms lies at the fingertips of every individual with an internet connection. Does this then mean that the accountability sits with all of us?

Social media has been a more significant part of my life than it is for the billions of people worldwide who scroll daily. I use these chapters to share statistics, anecdotes and insights I’ve collected over a decade of my love/hate relationship with the online world, woven in with the historical levers and drivers that have led us to this point. I like to acknowledge all facets of this space, however. Whilst there are clear connections between Instagram and low self-esteem, Twitter and cancel culture, digital journalism and rampant sexism, there are also great victories for progress, particularly intersectional progress, which have emerged through the democratising power of digital voice.