Prologue
I sat on the cold, concrete floor, looking over Kitty curled up in a tight ball, and tried vigorously to shake her awake. Just moments ago, she cried out in her sleep again, and I wanted to wake her before her fitful cries became wails of terror.
“Kitty? Kitty! Wake up! You’re having another nightmare. KITTY!” I grabbed her by the shoulders and literally pulled her from her dreams. Kitty teetered upright with half-closed eyes, appearing to be in a state of momentary confusion. After a few seconds, the fog cleared her head, and her eyes clouded over with that deep haunted sorrow as she remembered where we were.
I hugged Kitty close, being very careful to avoid pressing down on the wounds on her frail body. Kitty emitted the most pitiful mewling sounds as I rocked her in my arms.
“Shh, shh,” I tried to soothe Kitty feebly. “Please don’t cry, Kitty.” I searched my head for any possible comforting words to offer her. “Shh, it’s okay.”
Kitty suddenly lifted her head and looked at me with her red, tear-filled eyes. Her once pretty blonde hair now laid limply in knots, matted and dirty. “No, it’s not okay, Capricorn!” she sobbed angrily. “It’s never going to be okay again!”
Of course, she was right. What was I thinking trying to hand her an empty platitude like that? Dummy, “it’s okay” only works if everything will eventually be okay, I silently scolded myself.
The terrifying sound of familiar footsteps echoed as Big Boss entered the room, holding an open book in one hand, and a half-eaten apple in the other. My mouth salivated for the apple, and I automatically reached out for it in aching hunger. Big Boss was entrenched in his book, never taking his eyes off it as he walked through the room. It was only after I took my focus off the apple and onto the book that I noticed what he was reading: my journal.
When we were captured, I had few belongings in my backpack, including a mostly blank mini notebook with a few written pages. Something told me it was important to document what was happening to us. I started writing our story during the time Big Boss wasn’t there and tried my best to hide the journal from him when he came into the room. One day though, Big Boss caught me writing, and demanded I hand the book over. That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I was forced to give it to him under threat of severe punishment, and I figured I would never see my journal again. Big Boss took it, looked over a few pages, and smirked in a scoffing manner when he realized what it was. I pleaded with him to let me keep it, assuming it was a lost cause, but then to my ultimate shock, he agreed.
“Sure, why the hell not, it’s not like you’re going anywhere,” he laughed, throwing the journal back at me. “One condition though, Capricorn: I get to read it.”
I continued to write in the journal whenever possible and got used to Big Boss taking it to read whenever he wanted. He wasn’t going to stop me from telling our story. If by some miracle we ever escaped here one day, I’d find a way to tell our story to the whole world.
Now Big Boss, his eyes still on the journal, took a bite from the apple, and stopped to read in front of our cage. Instinctively, Kitty drew as far back to the corner of the cage as she could go.
“This is very invigorating reading material, Capricorn,” Big Boss said, still reading the journal. Then he abruptly looked up at me, his mouth bursting into a sadistic smile. “So when do you get to the part where I kill the little brats?” He slammed the journal closed with a flat thwap that resounded through the basement.
Big Boss took another bite of the apple and held up the journal. “You sure do talk about Allie a lot in this thing,” he said with a ridiculing grin. “You were really close to her, weren’t ya?”
“She was my s-s-sister and my best f-friend. I-I-loved her,” I said, my voice cracking. Don’t you dare cry, I thought to myself. Not now. Not while he’s here. Wait till he’s gone. Don’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry.
Big Boss clasped his hand to his chest. “Oh, be still my weeping heart, Capricorn,” he mocked.
I glared at Big Boss with pure hatred. I never wished more that the phrase “looks can kill” wasn’t just an expression.
In the corner of the cage, Kitty was trying desperately to make herself as small and invisible as possible. Every day I grow increasingly concerned about Kitty. She was always the meekest of our siblings to begin with, and these days she was looking downright weak, sickly, and broken. Kitty is fading away on me, becoming a living ghost of her former self. I’m terrified Kitty will continue to dissolve, each day becoming a little less visible, until one day I’ll look over and she’ll simply be gone.
Big Boss opened the door of the cage and threw my journal at my head. It hit my nose with a hard thump and fell to the concrete. I covered my nose and was somewhat surprised to find it was bleeding. I barely noticed the pain anymore.
“Keep writing, Capricorn,” Big Boss smiled. “I can’t wait till you get to the end. That’s the best part.”
Big Boss took one last bite of his apple and looked up at us. “Here brats! Don’t say I never gave you anything.” He tossed the apple core onto the floor of the cage, and slammed the door, leaving the room.
Kitty and I dived madly towards the apple remains with ravenous longing. I reached it first and held the apple in my hand to inspect it. Big Boss ate almost all of it and there was barely any flesh left on the core. Under normal circumstances, you’d consider it garbage and wouldn’t think twice about throwing it away. Starvation will have you fighting for even the tiniest of scraps. Don’t say I never gave you anything, sure, I thought bitterly. This is what he so generously gives us. My eyes burned with tears of hatred and anguish.
Kitty was next to me, her sad brown eyes refilling with fresh tears. “Kitty,” I said. “I’ll split this in the middle so we’ll each have half. We’ll share it.” I broke the core into two pieces and pressed one of them into Kitty’s tiny hand.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I gnawed on my half and Kitty started eating hers. Before she even took a full bite, Kitty broke into full-blown sobs again. I couldn’t hold it in any longer either. The tears came cascading down my face like a fountain.
“Kitty,” I cried, hugging her again. “We’re going to get out of here. I’m going to find a way to get us out.”
“There is no way out of here, Capricorn!” Kitty wailed.
“I’ll find a way,” I said desperately. “Just hang on, Kitty. Just hang on a little longer.”
Kitty only answered me in broken, heartbreaking whimpers.
“Kitty,” I cried. “You have to find a way to hang on. You have to stay with me! You can’t leave me, please! You’re all I have left! I promise you I’ll find a way out of here!”
Kitty looked up at me, and at that moment she looked more like a very old woman who had lived long past her prime than a small girl. “Please don’t make promises you can’t keep, Capricorn. I can’t take anymore dashed hope.”
Kitty crawled away to eat the rest of her apple core alone, quietly weeping. I, however, was suddenly overcome with fierce rage. I hated Big Boss for what he was doing to me and Kitty. Hated him even more for what he did to our family. I will get out of here if it’s the last thing I do. And when I do, I’ll spend the rest of my life getting revenge and making Big Boss pay for what he’s done. I will get justice for my family. For all my sisters and brothers. For Chase, and Kevin, and Ryan, and Ashley, and Allie, and Breezy and Hazy…Tears welled up in my eyes again. No, stop it. You’ll make yourself cry and you need to focus. Right now, your goal is to get this story finished. Focus.
I found my pen on the ground, grabbed my journal, opened it up, and furiously began writing.
