Perhaps, surprisingly to some, a 'walk that leads to nowhere," is not the worst type of walk to take!

The author and I have quite a bit in common, born and raised in pockets of America where diversity and variety were hard to find at the time, and where Bible-beliving was lived out in every facet of life. Where going to a Christian college was a natural next step and, in my case, attending a movie like "Brokeback Mountain" was it's own form of rebellion and some type of victory; especially, for our gay classmates that joined us.

For me, this book proved to be an undertaking where I wrestled. I'm not one to prescribe to the whole "love is love" notion or to believe that there is no hell. However, I appreciate reading things that make me somewhat uncomfortable or challenge my beliefs.

God is love and He wishes that no man should perish. God's love is the type of love I would hope to espouse. He loves everyone but He doesn't wish for us to stay as we are. I wish to love in a way that is accepting, kind, compassionate, but also with a touch of salt that uplifts and prompts change. I think the author wants no less in his own life. We are just going about it in different ways.

I found this book to be a bit repetitive but perhaps this is because the author's life has found itself lived within circular patterns. A surface level rendering that begets relationships that are not sustainable while living an internal life of depth filled with questions; some questions with answers and some without.

There are moments of absolute truth and brilliance that raised the bar of this book to within striking distance of a four-star read such as at the end of Chapter 4 where you will find this gem, "People get in trouble when they get their life advice from bumper stickers." I also thoroughly appreciated the contemplative and philosophical ending of Chapter 5 as well, "The question is not how much bad we do but how much of it we can live with. We are all monsters, but we get to decide if and when we will act monstrously. I think that choice probably makes all the difference."

There is morbid darkness that's embraced and sat within, as found at the end of Chapter 7, "The truth is, all of us, whether for a season or for all time, live damaged by life and not as the manufacturer made us. Or maybe we just use that as an excuse for all of the bad deeds we have done. Either way, if we buried every version of ourselves as they came and went, there would be a tombstone every mile." (I don't know if I can, or would want to, argue with that, you?) However, there is also hope mingled within the darkness providing us with some semblance of light; after all, the author is still with us and impacting lives for the better by sharing his own with us.

We give thanks, alongside the author, for Moms and Aunt Bee's and cold, crisp swallows of Mountain Dew and count those things the blessed joys of life. All is not lost when you realize you are not alone and become brave enough to speak.

Please note: This book includes suicidal ideation, rape, and sexual assault. Do not read if you have not yet healed from your own past incidents of painful encounters; regardless, if they were brought on via self-harm or at the hands of others.