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Weasel Words


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A pair of ultra-charming thieves set off on a quirky heist to relieve an unpleasant family of their prize silver weasel. What's not to love?

Which one is the real weasel?

Suspect: Bernard and Melody Earls, a pair of lovestruck thieves tasked with tracking down a silver weasel and "restoring it to its rightful owner." All they care about is avoiding capture — either by the police, the family's state-of-the-art security systems, or randy old ladies — and keeping their wits about them as they bounce from party to party.

Suspect: Each named after the founding fathers and mothers, the snooty Plasketts just can't stop fighting over a silver pine marten. It's practically worthless, this pine marten statuette, but its sentimental value is astronomical... or so everyone says. As far as Bernard and Melody can tell, its only value is making the Plasketts' attorneys rich in small claims court. From Jimmy Madison to Alex Hamilton, the buffoonish Plasketts care little about anything but making each other jealous and throwing around their money.

Suspect: Just what is a pine marten and what do the filthy-rich Plasketts have to do with it? What's this sentimental value everyone's going on about? Is it really worth $7,000 for Bernard and Melody to circumvent the unbreakable Fitzroy Fortress security system and put up with all five rotten Plasketts?

This quirky heist story is utterly delightful. Our sticky-fingered protagonists are deeply in love, despite a constant barrage of temptation and indecent proposals. They're peanut butter and jelly, playing off each other's strengths and using their unique talents to weasel their way into the Plasketts' inner circle while dealing with loud neighbors and constant money woes. Bernard has the brains, Melody has the heart, and they both have the looks... for better or for worse.

The charming cast of characters all bursting with personality makes Weasel Words a cozy pleasure. I can't wait to see what the Earls get up to next!

Reviewed by

Sarah is a freelance writer, obsessive reader, and prolific reviewer. Her work may not always have her byline, but chances are you've seen her around.

Friday Morning, July 14, 2017

About the author

Dale E. Lehman is an award-winning writer, veteran software developer, amateur astronomer, and bonsai artist in training. His fiction includes mystery, SF, and humor. His work has also appeared in Sky & Telescope and on Medium.com. With his wife Kathleen he owns and operates the imprint Red Tales. view profile

Published on February 15, 2021

Published by Red Tales

70000 words

Contains mild explicit content ⚠️

Genre: Mystery & Crime

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