Calcination and Dissolution
Considered the most formidable and strenuous phase, Nigredo is the period of deconstruction. In Calcination, the raw material is vigorously reduced to ashes, or ‘burned down to the bones.’ The ashes become submerged in liquid during the Dissolution stage, rendering them saturated and formless.
I am a wide-mouth Solo cup slinging ‘round an s-curve,
waking up in a hotel room
and more than once, a hallway,
the dregs of my brain drag my body like a corpse.
I lost keys like morals, like scruples, like scholarships and chances,
always coming-to on the other side of the world.
A circumstance claims its victim—but not me,
I was busy co-creating my own abyss,
a seasick dinghy riling up the waves.
All I wanted was to feel good
on the way to hell and make a new best friend
in the unisex bathroom—
and here I am, curled up fetal,
trying to find a heartbeat in the dirt and begging
the earth to take me back.
Blackout promises don’t mean a damn thing.
FIRES, PART I
I used to start fires everywhere—
the sweat-bees lining up
to taste the mineral of me
licking the magnesium
hoping for the fuse, and I
was twirling in flames
scorched and naked
as if my cells were silicone
eyes ablaze, dazed from the loss of it all
smoke-choked and wheezing
holding my breath—
I was riding sparks, kicking coals
touching toes to lighting bolts
and burning bridges to the ground.