At twenty-one, Lucia Farris is graduating college and looking ahead to graduate school, believing her future to be bright and secure. But life comes to a painful halt when she is admitted to the hospital and rushed to several emergency surgeries. The doctors diagnose her with two new autoimmune diseases: pulmonary arterial hypertension and lupus.
Lucia doesn’t know what to expect, but she knows her life is forever changed—nothing she’s diagnosed with is curable, not that her life expectancy is more than six months, anyway. Her dreams, including working at the International Monetary Fund, seem grounded for good.
In the present, told in an alternating timeline three years later, Lucia is lucky to be alive, but life will never be what it was. Yet, when she meets Oskar, an Austrian graduate student, her body is painfully aware of her reaction to him. From date one, sparks fly. When lips meeting becomes hips meeting, both find their bodies as dangerously compatible as their minds.
As feelings shift toward more, Lucia’s all too aware that her disease was “too much” for boyfriends in the past. And Oskar doesn’t plan to stay in Atlanta forever. Still, there’s a pull they just can’t resist.
At twenty-one, Lucia Farris is graduating college and looking ahead to graduate school, believing her future to be bright and secure. But life comes to a painful halt when she is admitted to the hospital and rushed to several emergency surgeries. The doctors diagnose her with two new autoimmune diseases: pulmonary arterial hypertension and lupus.
Lucia doesn’t know what to expect, but she knows her life is forever changed—nothing she’s diagnosed with is curable, not that her life expectancy is more than six months, anyway. Her dreams, including working at the International Monetary Fund, seem grounded for good.
In the present, told in an alternating timeline three years later, Lucia is lucky to be alive, but life will never be what it was. Yet, when she meets Oskar, an Austrian graduate student, her body is painfully aware of her reaction to him. From date one, sparks fly. When lips meeting becomes hips meeting, both find their bodies as dangerously compatible as their minds.
As feelings shift toward more, Lucia’s all too aware that her disease was “too much” for boyfriends in the past. And Oskar doesn’t plan to stay in Atlanta forever. Still, there’s a pull they just can’t resist.
Authors Note:
The romance and story are fictional. Liz has five diagnosed autoimmune diseases, Raynaud’s, Sjogren’s, Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension (PAH), and Primary Biliary Cholangitis (PBC). The flashbacks and medical issues all reflect real medical experiences of hers. Please note autoimmune diseases presentations, symptoms, and long-term prognosis vary widely. She was diagnosed with most between 2008-2009. Luckily, medicine, treatments, and long-term prospects are always improving. All names of characters, medical professionals, and locations have been changed and/or are fictional.
 Chapter One
January 5Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
I shifted uncomfortably on the exam table. Without warning, my barking cough came barreling out of my chest again. The deep, wet sound finally stopped, and I struggled to catch my breath for several minutes. Even after I was done coughing, I was still panting.
I’d been sick a lot in the past three years, from strep throat to bronchitis, and had even dislocated my ribs twice due to coughing just last year, but I’d never had a cough like this before. It sounded just like a seal—bark, bark, bark—not at all like my normal cough, which was why I was here instead of in class for my first day of graduate school.
 I frowned at the cream-colored wall, struggling and failing to find relief. I didn’t even want to be here, in Atlanta, for graduate school. I’d been accepted into The George Washington University, my dream school, for a Master’s in Economics. It would have given me easy access to an internship at the International Monetary Fund (IMF), my dream job. I’d been lucky to live in Europe for the past several years, but there was so much of the world I wanted to see—no, not just see but explore, understand, and interact with.
The cough ripped through me again, my breath coming out in raspy gasps. This was why I was fucking here. This was why my ex, Alessandro, had cheated on me. I couldn’t stay healthy for two weeks in a row. I couldn’t even start graduate school on the scheduled start date. No—of course I’d be sick. I didn’t want to go to grad school at Georgia State or to live at home, but I needed help. Something was wrong with me. There had to be. No one should be sick this much.
I shifted again against the wall, my breath still heavy, as comfort eluded me. Holding my body upright was a struggle, but if I lay down, I couldn’t breathe. I hadn’t been this exhausted in a long time, if ever.
My ears perked up as the exam room door opened.
“Lucia,” Dr. Steinberg said softly. His gray eyes traveled over me, slowly cataloging everything. He had an analytical brain and had studied medicine at Harvard. He was the smartest and most considerate person I knew. Maybe it was also because he pronounced my name correctly, Lu-chi-ah. I was half-Italian, not Spanish, so most people said it wrong.
I smiled despite it all. I had a deep affection for Dr. Steinberg, who’d seen me off and on since I was fifteen. He’d even had me tested for Sjogren’s last year when I thought I was losing my mind over how dry my mouth was and the fact that my eyes couldn’t open in the morning without eye drops, or that they’d get painful scratches due to dryness. I’d tested positive and had started medicine for it that week. I wished he was my rheumatologist.
Julia, his PA, entered behind him and my shift to acknowledge her started the barking cough again. When I finished, I was more aware of Dr. Steinberg’s concerned gaze and wondered why Julia was in the room too. Normally, I just saw him.
“Is it pneumonia?” I tried to joke. My trip to the chest X-ray had just about killed me. It was just down the elevator and through a hallway maybe three hundred feet long, but I’d had to stop about every ten feet to catch my breath.
Julia and Dr. Steinberg shared a look. “Lucia, it’s not pneumonia,” he said gently. “We need to do a few more tests, but I am going to be admitting you to the hospital. Can I see your ankles?” He stopped to feel them. “Do you have any other symptoms besides the fever, fatigue, and shortness of breath?”
I nodded weakly. “My shoulder is killing me. It feels like someone is stabbing me in the right shoulder blade.” He and Julia shared another look as I started coughing again. Usually, I just got my antibiotics and was sent home, then came back in a few days depending on how sick I was, but I’d never been this tired. “What is it?”
“Well, the reason you are short of breath is you have a large amount of fluid around your heart, and also some in your lungs, which is why you can’t lie down and why your coughing sounds the way it does. It’s probably why your shoulder hurts. Lucia, your heart is stressed. What we don’t know is why. A few things can cause it, but we need to do a few more tests. We need to start the admission process. It’s four now, so you’ll be admitted through the ER.” He paused and added, “Do you want us to call your parents?”
“Yes.” I nodded again, more numbly this time. “What could cause it?” My words weren’t fearful—just confused. My heart? I was twenty-one. Wasn’t that too young for heart problems?
How would you look at life if you were diagnosed with an illness that only two in a million have? Would your outlook be positive or negative? What if it meant that dreams you had were taken away? You hear about people who have chronic illnesses, and then surprisingly, their courageous outlook on life is eye-opening. You read testimonies of how they live every second of every day to its fullest. That makes life precious and makes you look at how you live your own life. Hsu writes a beautiful and riveting romance about a woman who has been through hell and back, with four autoimmune diseases, but she finds a way to fight for life.
Lucia is Italian-born, residing in Atlanta with her dog Bea, where the best treatment center for Lupus is. Oskar is Austrian-born, also living in Atlanta to pursue a career in bioengineering, one of the best schools in the world for the field. When they meet for the first time on a hike, sparks fly. Oskar and Lucia both speak German which intensifies their conversations, but Oskar realizes he has never seen anyone more beautiful in his entire life. He soon comes to find out that she has been sick all of her life, but looks like perfect health for a twenty-year-old woman. The story switches back and forth from present to past, and from Lucia to Oskar, so the reader can understand them both and the trials they've faced. A relationship seems inevitable, even though both talk themselves out of it as much as possible until they are inseparable. Oskar immediately sees the strength, the optimism, the beauty, and the desire for companionship in Lucia, but is he able to be all of those things for her the next time she gets sick. Lucia knows it is only a matter of time before he will see her sickness, but her fear nearly smothers her and this new relationship before it can blossom, leaving her with the burning question as to whether anyone can ever love her for the long haul or will her sickness always scare them away?
Hsu's characters are stunning and well-developed in this beautifully written story. Readers will find it easy to sympathize with Oskar and Lucia as they are taken on a journey of loss, pain, joy, and passion. The name of this story is quite metaphorical, but the symbolism between a vampire and a chronical illness like Lupus or PAH is quite accurate and fitting. Readers lose themselves in emotional, credible stories where the characters are far from perfect, but instill able to show creativity and originality. Having characters struggle to live is painful to read about, but the jubilant personalities and desire for a better life is insatiable. This one is hard to read, but hard to put down. The pace is steady and engulfing, with little to no spelling or grammatical errors which makes it an enjoyable read. For readers who like young adult romance and medical fiction, you'll find this particular story a must-read.
An electronic copy of this book was provided to Turning Another Page by Reedsy Discovery and in no way affects the honesty of this review. We provide a five-star rating to The Vampire Inside Me by Liz Hsu.