DiscoverFantasy

The Pale Queen

By

Not for me 😔

A creative, poetic story, full of imagination, but in need of some major structural editing...

This is a difficult review for me because I started and stopped reading the story several times before I slogged through to the end. Every time I got frustrated from the lack of plot, world-building or storytelling, I was drawn in again by some of tidbit of genius writing.


On one hand, there are parts in the novel that are poetic and wonderfully imaginative, but then there are paragraphs that are incoherent and not finished, or overly poetic and hard to understand descriptions not connected to anything.


The book is separated into parts, and there are no real chapters, but are organized into scenes: that isn't an issue, but if it's not done well, it can easily frustrate and confuse the reader. Which it did to me. Several times, I thought I was getting introduced to another character, because of the vague descriptions, but found out mid-way through the scene, that the 'man by the fire' was in-fact the hero, Seren.


It was frustrating to read and could probably use a major overhaul in plot development, and several layers of editing. Then, there could be a real gem that is unlocked!


The story follows Seren, a poet-warrior (cool idea if executed well), who is searching for his lover, and is serving the Pale Queen, who is very mysterious, as is the rest of the world which is barely touched on. It is hard to understand much of anything other than what the character is thinking, which is riddled with poetic ramblings most of the time. And the reader is left to scramble through, trying to piece together the miniscule tidbits of how this world works.


Overall, the ideas are solid, the world-building has major potential, and in places, the writing is great, but in terms of story, I feel the plot and character arcs have major holes, and with little to no world building, it is hard to follow and I had to go back and re-read several times, then gave up when something made little sense, and just ploughed through to finish.


I think this novel has great potential to be something great one day, it just needs some major help.

Reviewed by

Ryan Carriere, a new Canadian author, lives with his family in Western Canada and is developing two new series simultaneously! Assassin Rising, a young adult scifi thriller, and Heroes of Atlantis, an action packed fantasy filled with monsters and mayhem!

Part 1

About the author

Tyler Sehn lives in Alberta, Canada. He is the author of the epic/grimdark fantasy trilogy, The Spiritbinder Saga. view profile

Published on March 13, 2021

40000 words

Genre: Fantasy

Reviewed by