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The Nine Lives of Felix the Tomcat

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Loved it! 😍

Hilarity abounds in this first-person narrative about the perils, pitfalls & pranks of one smokin’ hot Tomcat (we’re not talking fast jet).

Warm up your funny bone and smooth out those laugh lines. You’ll need both and then some in M.P. Frank’s laugh-out-loud trip into hilarity and beyond, courtesy of a smart and sassy feline named Felix. At just over two hundred pages, this humor and comedy book earns its meows right out of the kitty door as it chronicles the perils, pitfalls and pranks of one smokin’ hot Tomcat (and we’re not talking fast jet).


In Felix the Tomcat’s mind, he’s a jaguar. He’s also an “apex predator.” A “fine lookin’ tomcat” with a photographic memory, Felix is “ a treat to the eyes and a mighty specimen of a Tomcat.” Felix is also a self-described “brainiac” with  unlimited access to TV and use of the remote. He puts both to good use in and around Pittsburgh in this hilarious and fast-paced “ottobiography” told in “Chaos-on-a-Page” writing style.


We first meet Felix in the rundown apartment he shares with Dakota and her husband, “Fishface.” Following a riotous run-in with a racoon and a ruined TV, Felix splits. He plans to get himself adopted “out to Guppieland," also known as the high rent district. Here Felix outsmarts humans and pretty everyone else. Every time.


After a series of near-misses that use up some of Felix’s “lives,” he ingratiates himself unto a Guppie fam at Fox Chapel Hill Gated Community. It’s a place where the well-to-do family loads up on food like “100% Blended Oreganic (sic) Bolivian Popcorn” that’s made by Fritos in Detroit.


The fam includes dad “Velcrodrome” the “Star Stud,” mom Afrodite, and the two kids, “Gloomer” and “Goldenboy.” Also Rosa the steely-eyed housekeeper. Ensconced in his new digs, Felix discovers the effect of “Meowi-wanna” and cat nip on cat flight (“Violently ejected, like bacon at a Bar-Mitzva.”) The cat-a-pult. Romance in a trailer park with his new pal, Slick. Ever the erudite feline, Felix also buys himself a Prime membership on Amazon. There’s also a trip to Niagara Falls and Canada, Aye (“Mounties take Visa and Mastercard.”) The “local sinus fair.” Then on to Harvard and a Gold Cup. Rosetta’s Stones. “Get outa my chair!” “Ya gotta love a cat with a Morgan Freedom voice.” “Live free or die.”


The action is narrated by Felix in “Catonese.” Hence, made-up and deliberately misspelled words are part of the package and purr-fectly consistent with the mane karacter. This may great (sic) on some readers. It may take some getting used to for others. It spells laughter for all. Tip: Don’t read this book when drinking hot apple cider. You’ll laugh so hard in places, you’ll wind up snorting cider out your nose (don’t ask how I know that).


Smug and snarky with an “Out of my way, peasant” vibe Felix’s creative “storyifying” is an “equal opportunity offender.” Feline fans will recognize the cat-ittude as Felix goes after just about every entity and icon available with what can only be described as feline fervor. So be sure to pack your dry sense of humor. It’s imperative in appreciating this book and its wicked wit. The humor is definitely adult.  Some of the funniest rib-tickling portions of the entire book are the exchanges between “The Editor” and “The “Arthur.” The level of profanity is unnecessary and could use a serious dial-back. But overall, it's hilarious!

 

Accessories not included. Cider sold separately.


My Rating: 3.5 due to excessive profanity.

Reviewed by

Library Board Member. Communications & Marketing Prof'l. Interests incl: Historical, Christian, Literary Fiction. Action/Adventure/Outdoors. Children's/ YA. Select Non-Fiction. Inspy. A frank but fair reviewer, Kristine averages 300+ books/year in a WIDE VARIETY of genres on multiple platforms.

About the author

A semi-retired Emergency Physician with a wild imagination and a fictitious Tomcat friend called Felix. This amazing tomcat,who is literafied and Googlified gets himself into a maze of troubles from the mean alleys to the hallowed halls of Harvard. First published humor book on amazon now. view profile

Published on December 27, 2022

Published by

40000 words

Contains mild explicit content ⚠️

Genre: Humor & Comedy

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