Diane Papalia's world was turned upside down when she met Bob Zappa, "the man with the chocolate brown eyes," in 1986. They were immediately drawn to each other. Over the course of 27 years, their stars would cross again and again, but it was complicated for them to be together. It wasn't until 2013 that Diane and Bob were free to commit to being together. This is Diane's story about their journey across those years, and how their love endured. The Married Widow is a poignant look at a beautiful love story between two people who waited years to finally be together.
Diane Papalia's world was turned upside down when she met Bob Zappa, "the man with the chocolate brown eyes," in 1986. They were immediately drawn to each other. Over the course of 27 years, their stars would cross again and again, but it was complicated for them to be together. It wasn't until 2013 that Diane and Bob were free to commit to being together. This is Diane's story about their journey across those years, and how their love endured. The Married Widow is a poignant look at a beautiful love story between two people who waited years to finally be together.
I first saw Bob in January 1986, at a McGraw-Hill sales
meeting in St. Louis. I was invited to that meeting to
celebrate the success of the first edition of the college
text, Psychology, by Diane E. Papalia and Sally Wendkos
Olds, which was McGraw-Hillâs âBook of the Year.â
Bob, its marketing manager, was âMarketing Manager
of the Year.â The book had sold 50,000 copies in its
first year, which, in the world of college publishing,
is pretty much unheard of. At the meeting, Bob was
making a pitch to a group of sales representatives
about a new book he was promoting. In college publishing,
the marketing manager has to convince the
sales force that it is worth their time to try to get a
book adopted by professors who teach the relevant
course. Bonuses depend on it.
Bob was a compelling speaker, very funny, and I
found him adorable. He was definitely âmy typeââ
not too tall or too short, dark complexion, chocolate
brown eyes, a sexy Italian man. I was standing because
it was a full house. I remember the peopleâ
editors, sales reps, marketers, and other corporate
typesâaround me saying, âYou know who that is?
Thatâs Frank Zappaâs brother.â
The meeting in St. Louis was a blast. I closed down the
hospitality room every night. This was a partying crowd,
even after a full day of learning about McGraw-Hillâs
new titles. The food was great and the drinks flowed
endlessly. But Bob, being a bit more prudent, avoided
the hospitality suite and went to bed early.
A second sales meeting was held that January
at the Nassau Inn in the beautiful college town of
Princeton, New Jersey. When I was first invited to
that meeting I declined, saying I had to be at work
and couldnât attend. I was a tenured full professor of
Child and Family Studies at the University of Wisconsin-
Madison, teaching undergrads and grad students.
The meeting in St. Louis had been held before second
semester began so I went guilt free. But recalling that
I had had such a good time in St. Louis, I decided to go
to the second meeting, and arranged for a TA to teach
my classes in Madison.
It was a decision that would change my life.
Bob was assigned the task of collecting me at Newark
airport and getting me to Princeton. He met my
flight, took my floral brocade bag, and we headed for
the parking lot. I remember his rental car was white
and I wore a hot pink coat. When we got in the car to
drive to Princeton, he took a wrong turn leaving the
airport. The ride, plus the wrong turn, took an hour or
so. We spoke easily together, about so many thingsâ
my books, his brother Frank, publishing in general,
and McGraw-Hill in particular. I learned he had been
married for 21 years and had a 15-year-old son. I told
him I had been married for 10 years, but I had no children
at the time. His wife, Marcia, was a nurse. My
husband, Jon, was a pediatric oncologist.
Both nights that I was in Princeton, I had dinner
with Bob along with a crowd of editors, sales reps,
and marketers. The first night was a banquet and,
when he saw there was only one other person at
my table, he came over and sat next to me. The next
night, dinner was with a small group that went to a
local restaurant. Bob and I sat together at the end of
a long table, lost in our own little world. He sat to my
right. I found out he was 42; I was 38.
When we talked later about that dinner, we both
remembered an intense and immediate connection.
Looking back, we realized thatâs when we fell in love.
Diane and Bob met for the first time in 1986 and form a special connection almost immediately. Both married, they go through years of no contact, separated by work and life obligations. But no matter how much time passes, they always find their way back to each other.
Their stars finally align in 2013 and they can be together, still as in love as they were 30 years before. Though they aren't as young as they used to be, and Diane needs hip surgery, while Bob is dealing with injuries following an accident, and their wedding has to be delayed. But when the wedding finally happens in 2015, it is stunningly beautiful, like out of a movie. Friends and family gather in a luxury New York City hotel to celebrate the happy couple and their union.
Diane Zappa's The Married Widow is a heartfelt and loving memorial to her husband, Bob Zappa, who passed in late 2018. It explores their individual lives before meeting, painting a detailed picture of who Diane and Bob were as people and why they were soulmates. Diane writes with such a personable style that readers will feel the love against all odds and the loss that came too soon.
In The Married Widow, Diane writes of Bob's own writing endeavors about growing up with his brother Frank Zappa. In fact, Diane writes more about Bob and all the reasons she loves him than about herself. Through Diane's words, Bob comes alive in the pages, showing his selflessness and devotion to those he loved. Diane states that writing The Married Widow was cathartic for her, and the result is a deeply heartfelt story that continues on in a way to this day. In the closing pages, Diane recounts hearing strange unexplained noises, including hearing someone rocking in their rocking chair in the room upstairs. Bob may very well be watching over his dear Diane until it is time for them to be together again.