What you can control and what you can't is the core question to ask!
This little book provides techniques, skills and information the reader can use on their own, while also receiving guidance for when it's necessary to call for professional help. It is written for those who don't make a counseling appointment because they're not sure about the process or if it will help. This little book is a carry along counseling handbook to read, review, and apply what is common in counseling sessions regarding the symptoms contained in its pages, at the readers pace. The author is a professional counselor who uses these techniques and skills for patients in her practice. The principle of what's in our control and what is not is emphasized throughout it's chapters.
“This is a common-sense self-help book packed with
accessible suggestions for confronting negative emotions.
The actions proposed for alleviating common feelings of
anxiety, depression, guilt, anger, and negative thoughts are
accessible and easy to execute.” – Clarion Review
What you can control and what you can't is the core question to ask!
This little book provides techniques, skills and information the reader can use on their own, while also receiving guidance for when it's necessary to call for professional help. It is written for those who don't make a counseling appointment because they're not sure about the process or if it will help. This little book is a carry along counseling handbook to read, review, and apply what is common in counseling sessions regarding the symptoms contained in its pages, at the readers pace. The author is a professional counselor who uses these techniques and skills for patients in her practice. The principle of what's in our control and what is not is emphasized throughout it's chapters.
“This is a common-sense self-help book packed with
accessible suggestions for confronting negative emotions.
The actions proposed for alleviating common feelings of
anxiety, depression, guilt, anger, and negative thoughts are
accessible and easy to execute.” – Clarion Review
No one person or book can tell you what’s right for you,
and magically all problems are solved. You are the one
who lives your life each day and feels the way you feel. Oth-
ers can’t know what you feel inside, and even if you express
it completely, it’s still up to you to decide what you will do.
Self-help books that tell you ‘how’ – including this one –
are general for everyone. Basic principles of mental health
counseling are effective, but it’s up to you to choose what’s
important and apply it to your life.
I wrote this book to give you information and skills you
can use on your own and tell you when you should see
a counselor. If you make an appointment with a counsel-
or, these kernels will help you gain the most, including
ways to determine if a particular counselor is right for you.
(Counselor, as used in this book include the degrees and
licenses as listed in the Appendix).
Along with my experience as a counselor, I was inspired
by my Midwest farmer relatives who raised corn. I use them
as examples of mental health principles by the way they
lived and are a part of how I view mental health counseling.
These kernels may be all you need to help anxiety, de-
pression, or other worries. They might prompt you to want
more information from the sources listed in the bibliogra-
phy, or to make an appointment with a counselor.
Counseling is like that. There is no one path in counsel-
ing that fits everyone. One session may be all you need, or
it might take two years. You can read one chapter in this
book, then skip to another in any order. In a counseling
session, and in this book, there may be one thing you learn
that helps you in your life. I’m glad you’re giving it a try.
I focused on the most common discomforts for people who seek counseling, anxiety, depression symptoms, anger, scary or negative thoughts, guilt, worry, direction in life, and motivation.
I do not include complex trauma,
gender identity issues, addictions, or any type of abuse
with the inherent trauma these events cause. All of these
issues will need professional help.
It is my intent to provide information, skills and tech-
niques you can use, and to advise you when it’s important
to make an appointment with a licensed therapist.
You can consume the whole book, or just take a few ker-
nels, but if you are reading this far, you’ve got a taste!
Chapter 1
Control
Ask the Question:
Is this (situation, person, job) under my control, or not?
If so, what part of it IS under my control, and what IS NOT.
The following list of rules provides a framework to guide
you as you apply the principle of control in your life. The
list is simple to apply to any situation and encourages
your next action.
(Stuart & Liebernem – Bibliography)
Rule 1 - Do not take responsibility for things
you cannot control.
(Epictetus A Manual for Living. – Bibliography)
Examples: I can’t control the weather. I can’t control the
traffic. I can’t control procedures at work if I’m not the
owner. If I let these concerns take over, I’m experiencing
extra stress over something that’s out of my control.
Rule 2 - Take care of yourself, or you can’t take
care of anyone else.
This does not mean you are selfish. It means you have the...
Don't let the fact that this book only has 4 chapters fool you! "The Little Book of Counseling Kernels" is filled page after page with sound advice that addresses its stated purpose as a "baseline" for helping you learn to better manage anxiety, stress, and other common worries. It does not focus heavily on deep seated issues. It is the kind of book that you can begin to scratch the surface with, and I think that is great for anyone who is struggling to figure out where to even begin!
The book has very few errors and it was a nice, smooth read. I only found 1 typo on page 24, and an area where things should have been in bold but were not on page 79. I have two favorite parts. One was acronym for "FEAR". I actually took a screen shot of it to look back on when I feel I need it. My second favorite part was "the potato sack exercise". It was a clever exercise and the end made me chuckle. This book is not only an enjoyable read but one that also sticks with you. It is light and uplifting rather than heavy and overwhelming. For me, the fact that this book is interactive makes it even better! I personally love this because so many things can get lost when you don't have the ability to write them down while you are reading a book like this. With spaces sprinkled throughout for people to take notes as they're learning techniques or just space for jotting down their own personalized examples you retain so much more! It really takes everything to that next level giving each reader a more personalized experience that is unique to them. Not only are we given spaces here and there to write throughout the book, but we are also given examples or prompts to help us with "what" to write. Though I read a PDF version, this feature will allow anyone who gets a physical copy to jot down their thoughts while they are still fresh in their head without side tracking them too far in the middle of reading. I like the ease of being able to revisit and build from those sections later during times where I am wanting to proceed with reading rather than doing the full prompt right then and there.
To conclude, again it’s an easy read and truly hits the mark of the authors intended purpose. When it comes to providing insight for where to begin in regards to learning how manage anxiety, depression, and all those nagging worries we all tend to face daily, I highly recommend giving it a try! There are absolutely things that anyone can work on themselves, and there are things we may need professional help with. The purpose of this book is to help you not only work on what you can for yourself, but to distinguish when you should seek help. That is fantastic information for anyone to have. The ability to compare pretty general issues to Midwest farmers and corn really shows that no matter what we are going through in life, we are all truly connected. The issues we face and our struggles in day to day life are things that mostly all people experience in their own ways no matter what their lifestyle or profession.