No one person or book can tell you what’s right for you,

and magically all problems are solved. You are the one

who lives your life each day and feels the way you feel. Oth-

ers can’t know what you feel inside, and even if you express

it completely, it’s still up to you to decide what you will do.

Self-help books that tell you ‘how’ – including this one –

are general for everyone. Basic principles of mental health

counseling are effective, but it’s up to you to choose what’s

important and apply it to your life.

I wrote this book to give you information and skills you

can use on your own and tell you when you should see

a counselor. If you make an appointment with a counsel-

or, these kernels will help you gain the most, including

ways to determine if a particular counselor is right for you.

(Counselor, as used in this book include the degrees and

licenses as listed in the Appendix).

Along with my experience as a counselor, I was inspired

by my Midwest farmer relatives who raised corn. I use them

as examples of mental health principles by the way they

lived and are a part of how I view mental health counseling.

These kernels may be all you need to help anxiety, de-

pression, or other worries. They might prompt you to want

more information from the sources listed in the bibliogra-

phy, or to make an appointment with a counselor.

Counseling is like that. There is no one path in counsel-

ing that fits everyone. One session may be all you need, or

it might take two years. You can read one chapter in this

book, then skip to another in any order. In a counseling

session, and in this book, there may be one thing you learn

that helps you in your life. I’m glad you’re giving it a try.

I focused on the most common discomforts for people who seek counseling, anxiety, depression symptoms, anger, scary or negative thoughts, guilt, worry, direction in life, and motivation.

I do not include complex trauma,

gender identity issues, addictions, or any type of abuse

with the inherent trauma these events cause. All of these

issues will need professional help.

It is my intent to provide information, skills and tech-

niques you can use, and to advise you when it’s important

to make an appointment with a licensed therapist.

You can consume the whole book, or just take a few ker-

nels, but if you are reading this far, you’ve got a taste!

Chapter 1

Control

Ask the Question:

Is this (situation, person, job) under my control, or not?

If so, what part of it IS under my control, and what IS NOT.

The following list of rules provides a framework to guide

you as you apply the principle of control in your life. The

list is simple to apply to any situation and encourages

your next action.

(Stuart & Liebernem – Bibliography)

Rule 1 - Do not take responsibility for things

you cannot control.

(Epictetus A Manual for Living. – Bibliography)

Examples: I can’t control the weather. I can’t control the

traffic. I can’t control procedures at work if I’m not the

owner. If I let these concerns take over, I’m experiencing

extra stress over something that’s out of my control.

Rule 2 - Take care of yourself, or you can’t take

care of anyone else.

This does not mean you are selfish. It means you have the...