Jessie, Chapter 1
A fiery spark rocketed upward from the earth and burned through the dark sky. As gravity pulled it toward the ground, it shimmered into the golden shape of a palm tree. My lips flicked upward into a smile at the sight of my favorite firework. I walked Baby, our little black mutt, toward the large, grassy hill in the middle of Hunter Park.
Night was my preferred time to walk, as it hid my identity. In our neighborhood, suspicions and questions about his death surrounded me like a shroud. But Baby provided a good cover. I was a nameless girl with her dog.
I’d wanted to do a lot of things in silence since my dad died. It took too much energy to talk, to force my thoughts into words. It wasn’t worth the effort.
Grandma tried to hide her hurt feelings when I didn’t invite her on a walk. Tonight, it hadn’t been necessary, as she was spending the weekend with friends.
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the thoughts of his death—and the questions I still had. He died in the woods, but I had no idea how he ended up there or why he’d died. Bottom line: I was relieved. His death meant the abuse was finally over.
A striking Fourth of July display exploded overhead as I settled in with Baby. I chose a grassy spot on the outskirts of the crowd.
My fellow firework-watchers chatted and wrangled their children. Cans cracked open, and the aroma of beer hung in the humid summer air. The deep booms of the fireworks resonated through my body. Orbs of gold, blue, and red flashed across the night sky and then crackled back to the ground. Baby pressed herself against me and trembled. I squeezed her to my chest.
“You’re fine. You’re fine,” I whispered into her black, silky ear.
I should have left her at home, but I had been too uncomfortable to watch the fireworks completely alone.
Mom had been staring blankly at the TV when I left. Severe depression had plagued her since my father’s death. Inconceivably, she missed him. She thought they had been in love. Her continued delusion angered me and drove me crazy. Of course, he had been slightly less abusive to her.
She hadn’t even turned her head to acknowledge my goodbye. Instead of our lives getting instantly easier with his death, they transitioned to providing constant care. Pushing down my feelings of frustration, I smirked. On the bright side, I wasn’t afraid for my life anymore.
Grandma had been keeping Mom under close watch, but she needed a break. We all did. I didn’t mind Grandma taking some time for herself. She had taken on most of the care.
Four months had dragged on while we processed the shock of Dad’s absence. Like the walking wounded, Brian, my brother, and I were so grateful the nightmare was finally over but were still dealing with the carnage.
Mom barely got out of bed unless Grandma made her eat or shower. I assured myself she would be OK watching TV for a bit. Crinkling my brow, I wondered whether her doctor was giving her too much medication.
The mosquitos buzzed incessantly around my long, dark hair. I swatted at the light tickles on my legs. A slight breeze brought a little relief, but not much. Sweat trickled down my back and beneath the waistband of my shorts. After thirty minutes of the swirling death match, I gave up battling the mosquitos and walked back toward my house, brushing the grass from the back of my shorts.
“Jessie?”
I jumped and wheeled around to find Will, my classmate, previous kissing partner, and the blond Adonis of my dreams.
“Oh hey, how are you?” I said. My mouth had become a des-ert wasteland.
His profile was like a Greek statue, with its strong jaw and nose. It wasn’t just his looks that attracted me. He cared about me. He had shown up to support me over and over again, such as after my car acci-dent and, most importantly, during my dad’s search party.
There were moments I couldn’t remember about that day. My cheeks flamed with embarrassment. Will’s warm and caring embrace before the hunt for my dad was the only thing I did recall.
“Better now. I’m glad I spotted you,” he said. Even in the darkness, his eyes eagerly searched my face.
My heart pounded as he began to walk beside me. “Are you here with friends?”
“Yeah.” He nodded toward them with a smile. “But they can live without me for a few minutes.”
I hadn’t seen Will since the day we found my father dead in the woods. We had texted a few times, but it had been pretty general. It had been a lonely summer so far. Alex, my cheating ex-boyfriend, was out of the picture. Will had been one bright spot of love and attention.
I didn’t blame him for not staying in touch. What do you say to a girl whose parent just died? “I know your dad died recently, but let’s go out” wasn’t Will’s style.
We continued to talk as I made my way back to the house. It was so nice to see him and hear his voice. As it always had, our conversa-tion flowed easily as we ambled along the sidewalk under the canopy of trees. I basked in his attentiveness.
Far too soon, we were back at my house. Will lingered on my front porch, his weight shifting from one leg to the other. He stilled, leaning down to wrap his long, strong arms around me. My face pressed into his chest, and his heart thudded steadily in my ear. My whole body relaxed.
He straightened but kept his hands on my shoulders. “It’s good to see you.”
My brown eyes locked with his light-blue ones. His hug had soothed my starving soul, and I desperately wanted more.
“It’s good to see you too,” I said.
Will’s face split into a wide smile, revealing perfectly white teeth that screamed, “I wore braces for years.” His hands slid down my arms and squeezed my fingers.
“Let’s hang out soon. Message me,” he said.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” I said. Will bent down and patted Baby’s head.
He smiled and gave me a small wave as he slowly backed away. He couldn’t possibly be any cuter.
Humming to myself, I opened my front door and crouched down to let Baby off her leash. I straightened as the door clicked shut behind me.
The house was silent. Every light had been turned off, including the TV. I groped my way toward the kitchen and flipped on the light. A scrap of paper lay on the spotless kitchen counter. I recognized my mom’s handwriting.
Don’t do drugs. They ruin your life. Love Mom
My brows furrowed in bewilderment. What in the hell was that supposed to mean? I crumpled the ridiculous piece of paper in my hand. It took only a few seconds to understand.
“No! Mom!” I shrieked, the sound ricocheting through the house. The windows were open, but I didn’t care what the neighbors might think of my screams. I thundered toward the hall.
I pushed open her door and flipped on the light. She lay on her bed, curled to the side in the gray sweatshirt and pants she’d had on when I left the house. My whole body trembled as I shook her shoulder. Her mouth dropped open, but she didn’t respond.
Footsteps pounded down the hallway. “Jessie?” Will shouted. He ran into her room with wide eyes.
“She tried to kill herself!” I cried while ineffectually gesturing toward her.
Will dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed 911. I stared blankly as he gave the operator the details.
“Is she breathing?” Will asked.
His question made me focus. I watched her chest slightly rise and fall. “Yes.”
What had she taken? Her nightstand was empty, so I turned to the adjoining bathroom. A prescription pill bottle lay at the bottom of the white sink with just a few capsules remaining. My hand trembled as I reached for the bottle to quickly scan the label. I wasn’t familiar with the medication.
I stood by the bed, rocking back and forth as I watched the minutes tick by. I focused on the shallow rise and fall of her chest. Why had she done this? Didn’t Brian and I mean anything to her? Life wasn’t worth living if her drunk, abusive husband wasn’t around? Rage built within me.
The squawk of the ambulance startled me from my stupor. Will let the EMTs in and led them to the bedroom.
