The day I met my Boaz was nothing short of God’s glory. For many years I was informed that I would know that I know when the right one comes along. I was at a pivotal point in my life where everything needed change. I was working a good job. I had a lovely townhome that I was renting in Corona Hills, California. I was driving a Lexus, even though it was an older model, it was mine. My money was flowing fluidly. Aside from all of the material possessions, I dug deep to do the work that was needed to move onto the mountain top of the relationships that I had experienced. I literally came up on the rough side of the mountain. I was doing my best to make it in.
Understand this, The Day I Met My Boaz is not a fairytale in the traditional way. I am not selling you a pipe dream to make you believe that I woke up like this. I did not wake up in the arms of my Boaz and life was grandiose along the way. I will be transparent with you. I want you to understand that there is no fast way to a successful relationship without doing the work. Doing the work is mandatory to get to your mountain top of relationship bliss. If you do not do the work required, you will find yourself chasing your tail like a puppy. Chasing your tail is an idiom. An idiom is an expression that typically presents a metaphorical, non-literal meaning attached to the phrase or statement. In essence, the term “chase your tail” means to take action that is ineffectual and does not lead to progress. Refers to how
a dog can exhaust itself by chasing its own tail (Farlex Dictionary of
Idioms, 2015). Therefore, if you are trying to achieve relationship success, you want to reach that relationship mountain top, you want relationship serenity and you want to leave the relationship drama behind, then this book is for you.
If you have had a tumultuous time in your relationships, experienced rejection, and abandonment in your relationships (this is not limited to romantic relationships), or if you have no blueprint for relationship success, grab your tissue, purchase the journal and let’s get ready to do this.
Meeting My Boaz was what I needed when I needed it. After doing the work that I needed to do to accomplish my goals of rebuilding my relationship with Christ, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I got to the point where I was prepared to ride this ride solo. Years prior, I remember the Holy Spirit enlightening me about cutting my hair. He said that my husband to be liked long hair. My hair was a decent length at this time. However, I was prepared to cut it and start over fresh. Lorella Flego (2016), said,
“A dramatic change of a hairstyle, new hair colour or just some highlights reflect our subconscious wish for changes. When we want to turn the page to a new chapter in our life, we start at the head. Sometimes an unpleasant experience is the reason, like an end of a relationship, death of a loved one or something else significant. We get rid of the pain in our past symbolically by cutting our hair and changing our hairstyle that somehow ties us to it. A woman with long hair is considered beautiful and attractive. Long, silky and shiny hair touch the deepest parts of human psyche: healthy hair is attractive because it represents health, youth and fertility. Although it’s true that this perception varies depending on the culture. The Maasai people consider a woman with a shaved head or extremely short hair to be beautiful. The Native American tribe of Navajo believed that hair is the part of the body that is closest to thoughts. So to them, long hair was a representation of memory. Even Coco Chanel said: “A woman who cuts her hair is planning changes in her life.” Hair actually symbolizes our identity, it’s linked to Eros, to a growing desire that needs some direction. That is why it’s so pleasant when somebody strokes our hair.”
I was in search of a deeper change that no longer tied me to the yokes of bondage of failed, broken, abandoned, and rejected relationships. While I worked on my inner woman, I was looking for a newness on my outer woman. Short hair was going to be the way. I was planning on relocating back to Georgia. I wanted to buy a BMW 700 Series. I knew I didn’t want to buy any property in California because it was too expensive. Honestly, I didn’t want to buy property outside of being married. My thought was that I wanted my biggest purchases to be with my husband. This doesn’t mean that a woman shouldn’t pursue property ownership on her own. It wasn’t something that I wanted to do. Nonetheless, I had already started looking for employment in Georgia. I wanted to move to Newnan, Georgia. I prayed about it and talked to God about it. I started writing my plans on paper. In Habakkuk 2:2-4 (NKJV) talks about The Just Live by Faith.
Then the Lord answered me and said:
“Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.
“Behold the proud,
His soul is not upright in him;
But the just shall live by his faith.
However, in planning, Proverbs 16:9 (TLB) says that we should make plans—counting on God to direct us. So let’s examine: I was preparing to move back to Georgia. I was searching for employment. In my preparing, I needed to write the vision and make it plain. I needed to be patient and wait for the appointed time. On top of this, I needed to maintain my faith in God, especially since eminent changes had taken place in my life. I was not going to go backwards. There was no quitting. There was no returning to my past.
Understandably, you want to reach your mountain top of relationship bliss. You can. However, you can’t skip the process to get there. If that were the case, we’d all be billionaires, have the bomb.com relationships, and there would be no need for you to read my book. Therefore, take everything that you learn here and do the work needed to overcome your challenges. If you try to skip this part, just know that you will have to repeat portions, if not all, of the processes to get to where you are trying to go. Remember, the dog who chases his tail never gets any further than that. I want you to be whole and healed. I want you to come out of the lion’s den never smelling like the fire or hell that you have been through, but smelling like a rose. Roses are beautiful flowers that have long been a symbol of love. According to an article by Linda Crampton (2020), roses belong to the genus Rosa, which exists in both wild and cultivated forms. A rose color can have a different meaning for different people. Often people like a color simply because it's beautiful. It's fun to look at the traditional meanings of the colors, though.
Red: romantic love
Pink: gratitude and appreciation
Orange: desire and passion
Lavender: enchantment or love at first sight
White: innocence or purity of love
Black: pure elegance
Royal blue: True love associated with the unattainable
Royal purple: mysticism, royalty, and love
Today, red roses are a frequent symbol of true love and are a traditional Valentine's Day gift. In the past, white roses were used to symbolize love. Even today, the white flowers are often referred to as "bridal roses" and are used at weddings. They're also used to express love for a deceased person at a funeral. You can make it through this. You can come through the fire smelling like a rose. Don’t doubt yourself through this, but trust God for everything to see you through while you are doing the work.
Whatever you lacked prior to reading this book, let that all be a thing of the past. Your mother wasn’t there for you growing up. Neither was mine. Your mother was a drug addict. So was mine. Your mother was a fille de joie. So was mine. Your father wasn’t there for you neither was mine. Your father got married or is in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t care for his children that he had before her. Same here sis. You always felt rejected by everyone in life. My hand is raised. You were abandoned by your village. Both of my hands are raised. What I am saying here is that there is no excuse. So what because you didn’t have the blueprint to life. So what because your parents failed. We all do. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ALL OF THE WEALTH OF CHALLENGES THAT YOU HAVE BEARED IN THIS LIFE? You may have lost your mother or father at an early age. You may have experienced some violent acts against you from family, partners, or strangers. You may have or had a relationship with a married man. Let this go sis. He ain’t yours and he NEVER will be. Regardless of the fact, you have the power to move into a new season in your life if you want it. Meeting My Boaz, a worthy man, as the bible calls him, was not by chance. God didn’t drop him out of the sky. I wasn’t lucky. God didn’t deliver him on a silver platter although that would have been nice.
After working on me, breaking soul ties, yokes of bondage, abandonment and rejection issues and having such low self-esteem, God presented us to one another. Actually, I was presented to him. it was very non-traditional. I was not interested, initially. Remember, I was ready to ride solo and cut my hair off and buy a BMW 700 Series and move back to Georgia. The moment was amazing. We actually took over the conversation that was started by my cousin, Jenee`. He was persistent, but very kind and subtle. He was smooth. He knew what he wanted. He came for me. He made it known that he did.
How this unfolded for me was in the recognition of the work that I did to improve myself for myself and ultimately, for the glory of God. I was ready for marriage and I was done with the single life. You can’t have both. It causes a lot of confusion. I knew that I was one woman who wanted only one man. I wanted to date him, marry him, and date him for the rest of our lives. I established boundaries that I refused to bend on. I established my 80/20 Rule and refused to bend on it. I recognized that my relationships suffered because I never knew how to be in a relationship. My relationships suffered because my parents didn’t know how to teach me to be in a relationship. They didn’t have it within themselves to give me. Instead of focusing on what I didn’t have or get from my parents, which was a lot. A lot of my life skills suffered for lack of knowledge. Hosea 4:6 (ESV) My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children. I was suffering. Although the devil meant for these situations to break me, God sought to turn it around for my good. Genesis 50:20 (NIV) You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. We are presented with many opportunities in life. It is up to us to accept or reject the opportunity. Sometimes we take these opportunities and get the best prize out of it. Other times we take these chances and they turn out bad, dangerous and in some cases with a loss of life. I urge you more than anything else, put God’s work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well, Matthew 6:33 (CEV). Choose wisely in whatever you do.
If you want to discover your way to finding your Boaz, just know that it all begins with you. If you keep the mindset that you are who you are and someone will just have to accept you like you are then you will continue to end up in the same scenarios that have haunted you since you began dating or whenever life took it’s turn for the worse with your relationships. If you want better, not only do you have to do better, you have to change from the inside first. One thing that is definitely true, you won’t have to go looking for your Boaz, he will find you in due time. It’s an act of faith and you still have to add work with it. This man is not going to drop out of the sky. Remember Habakkuk 2:3 (NKJV) - For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry. Therefore, while you are waiting, do your work so that you will be ready and won’t have to get ready.
The storyline is discussing three men I dated and one man I married. I call them Mr. Dressed Up In Lies, Mr. Totally Ambivalent, Mr. Love Pistol, and My Boaz. Their names literally tell their story. As you prepare to read, I want to encourage you to get your tissue, grab your coffee and get ready to laugh. While reading, if you notice any resemblances to your life, do not hesitate to feel it. Even if you see something that is resemblance of someone else you know, get them involved and tell them to grab a copy for themselves. My goal is to help you to see it, acknowledge it, deal with it, heal from it, grow from it, and move into a new place in your life. Most of us have dated some not so Mr. or Mrs. Right for Me type of men before. As you read about these three men, you might get angry. You might laugh out loud. You might feel my past pain. You might even be going through it right now. Either way, I pray that you enjoy this book and that you have some great takeaways from it.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I pray for each person reading this book that you blessed me to birth. I pray that everyone who is trying to figure it out will see value in this book will be able to find the missing pieces to their puzzle in order to put their lives back together. I pray for everyone who is or has dealt with abandonment, rejection, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and any other negative emotion or mental issue as it relates to relationships. I ask that you impart wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to them. Give them the strength to do their work. Give them the mindset to choose to love themselves and to command their atmosphere in areas where they have been weak. Give each person the ability to see themselves as You see them: loved, whole, the ABSOLUTE best, healed, successful in their relationships with people, relationship serenity, the ability to love despite past trauma, and most of all, that each woman will be able to marry her Boaz and each man will be able to find and marry his Ruth. As I am praying this prayer, I ask that you give them the ability not to settle and not to compromise. Let them move into their winning season for love under new management. I ask these and more in the matchless name of Jesus. Amen.