A father and son stood silently beside one another under the moonlit sky. They drifted peacefully as the waves calmly brushed against the wooden boat. The wind gently caressed their hair as the sweet aroma of the ocean offered peace amid the open water. As the clouds passed by gently cloaking the evening stars all seemed well. The father and the son enjoyed the tranquility together as they began their adventure. Yet, as the two drifted, subtle taps could be heard in the distance. The taps became eerily closer turning from taps to splashes and splashes to crashes. As it rapidly approached the boat, hastily reaching closer and closer, the father pulled his son close as the once calm water erupted to a violent rage atop the ocean’s surface. The two looked up and a red aura filled the skies while the drifting clouds looked down in contempt. The boy once again looked to the sky to see what tyranny threatened their sanctuary. The world as they knew it began crashing down in a fiery fury. As hellfire rained down around them, the father looked to his son with a calming gaze and softly spoke to him,

“It will be okay.”

Embracing his son as the flames faded away, darkness once again filled the sky. Only then did I awake.

This is the dream I once had. For as long as I could remember it was my father and me against the world. Soon I would realize that the world would intend to fall apart around me, crashing down at every opportunity to tear me apart and swallow me whole. This dream would strike me at the heart, reminding and encompassing every trial I had ever encountered. This though would be the moment I could realize that everything would be okay. Combining the trials of my life I would soon learn that only then could I solidify success and resilience. However, success and resilience could only be obtained through the forging of gruesome trials.

For many years I had sheltered my experiences and trials, labeling them as normal, believing I was nothing unique. I spent much time reflecting on my life wondering, “What makes David so unique? Everyone has struggles and hardships, what makes me so special?” Yet, as I began opening up to people close to me about my story, I kept hearing the same responses. The interest could be heard in their voice. Questions surged grasping for more detail. Some described what they heard as unbelievable or terrible. Once I began sharing these stories and elaborating on experiences through counseling, my therapist expressed that though everyone struggles; based on studies of resilience I was destined for failure from the start. Though, somehow despite the studies and statistics, I defeated all of the trials and overcame some of the most debilitating experiences few could imagine.

I was not able to grasp this for the longest time. How could I ever see outside of my lens when the scope was so small? So isolated. Kidnapping, betrayal, substance abuse, alcoholism, mental illness, physical abuse, incarceration, and ultimately the loss of the unity of nearly all I shared blood with. The list became compounding of the world I grew to know. These were the chains that confined reality to a distorted perception of what normal really was.

Many years have since passed since I’ve closed those doors, however, reflection has been a never-ending constant. I would not change any of it for the world. Without these experiences, I would not be who I am today. Through all of the shattered pieces and distorted concepts I’ve endured; they have given me a gift that can only be forged in the most abysmal hell. That gift is molded through tremendous trials, and that gift is resilience.

For the first time, I am able, confident, and ready to share this journey with my readers. To walk side by side with me to peer into another dimension. Or rather, for some, to understand that perhaps I do know what you as the reader are experiencing in your own life? Even if I can only impact one, to help someone else realize they are not alone; and maybe it is not my journey they see as they read, but instead a reflection of your journey. Regardless, it is my goal and desire that whatever you as the reader are experiencing you may find solace as you read. You may find hope, strength, and comfort in knowing that though not all nightmares are when we are sleeping; there is a way out. A better life awaiting all of us as long as we are willing to reach for it.

My name is David Kranz and this is my story.