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Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time but it ain't going away-Elvis Presley. Small Fingernails: Even Less Love by J. Peters.

Synopsis

Sometimes, love finds us; other times, love is a trauma that hurls itself into the very fabric of our lives. My experiences at New England University explain how traumatic events and life's unfortunate turns can become amplified and overshadow our understanding of how love and friendship should contribute to our lives. The sages say love can blind us; however, sometimes, that love transforms our lives into radically altered states--states in which we must learn how to cope for the relationship to survive and thrive. These altered states are often difficult to manage without help from friends and family. If left to our own devices, without these critical supports, the creative energy that once nurtured our passion can destroy the foundation of our love and care that was once manifest. Small Fingernails chronicles my life as a student at college in Freedomtown and in love. It evaluates the impact of toxic relationships on our well-being and our capacity to pursue friendship. The complications that interfere with our pursuit of happiness will one day be more easily overcome by people who follow their hearts and seek only the best for those they care about the most.

Normally when one sits down to write their memoirs they want to write about the best of themselves. They definitely don't want skeletons falling out of the closet for everyone to see. Yet that is exactly what Small Fingernails: Even Less Love by J. Peters is all about. The author dares to bare his truth for all the world to see.


There exist a stigma around those who suffer from mental health issues. If someone walks around talking about their high blood pressure for example, this is perfectly acceptable. People may even inquire about their medication(s) and what they are doing to take better care of themselves. But if someone begins discussing their mental health struggles they may find others staying far away from them. Heaven forbid that anyone actually starts discussing any medications or what steps they are taking to take better care of themselves. And there in lies the real tragedy. Not in having a mental health condition but not getting adequate help for it as needed.


The author begins his story along the time line in which he can first pinpoint feelings of anxiety, stress, the peer pressure to be liked and accepted. You guessed it, that wonderful time in everyone's life know as adolescence and highschool. But as readers become all to aware something isn't quite right. Yes, the author discusses things such as dying his hair blue, cutting classes, and smoking. Normal teenager angst, right. However, there are the beginnings of behavioral patterns, such as stalking others, that begin to emerge. What lengths will Peters go to be liked? What happens when his methods of coping fail him?


Through the pages of this book readers join the author in his journey. Not his journey at Wales Highschool, (Wales being one of the wealthiest counties in one of the wealthiest states in England). Nor his life experience at the New England University perse. Rather, this is about traumatic events and unfortunate twists and turns that can overshadow one's appreciation of the collateral beauty of not only friendship but love.


I really appreciated the cover of the book as well. The dessert with both knives and pills on it reminds me of just how delicate and fragile life can be. Both bitter and sweet at the same time. A reminder that both our mental and emotional health states are just as important if not more so than our physical health. Small Fingernails: Even Less Love sheds light on such issues and dares to cross societal stigma lines in order to do so. Peters even provides confidential psychiatric records from his hospitalizations.


I give Small Fingernails: Even Less Love by J. Peters 4 out of 5 stars. Sometimes, when reading the book the chapters and circumstances meander and are told out of sequence (which can be a little hard to follow). However, this is one book definitely worth the read!



Reviewed by
Wymanette Castaneda

Synopsis

Sometimes, love finds us; other times, love is a trauma that hurls itself into the very fabric of our lives. My experiences at New England University explain how traumatic events and life's unfortunate turns can become amplified and overshadow our understanding of how love and friendship should contribute to our lives. The sages say love can blind us; however, sometimes, that love transforms our lives into radically altered states--states in which we must learn how to cope for the relationship to survive and thrive. These altered states are often difficult to manage without help from friends and family. If left to our own devices, without these critical supports, the creative energy that once nurtured our passion can destroy the foundation of our love and care that was once manifest. Small Fingernails chronicles my life as a student at college in Freedomtown and in love. It evaluates the impact of toxic relationships on our well-being and our capacity to pursue friendship. The complications that interfere with our pursuit of happiness will one day be more easily overcome by people who follow their hearts and seek only the best for those they care about the most.

THE SEWER DRAIN

“NOW YOU’LL NEVER WEAR IT again!,” I screamed as I threw her leaf-shaped necklace down a sewer drain in the middle of the night. Staring Dorothea directly in the eye, I watched her tear up and then cry uncontrollably. It was a bold move on my part, but not yet checkmate, in a series of miscalculated gambles in the game of unrequited love I had been playing with her for years.

         The night was pitch black. Even the moon wasn’t visible through the thick clouds above. Just one street light was flickering, and you could hear music playing in the adjacent building through the open window a few inches away. My heart was racing, and I had never been more upset.

         I had just thrown my girlfriend’s jewelry that I had custom designed for her just a year earlier down a sewer drain outside our apartment, and I felt great, at least momentarily. I knew I had hurt her, but I wasn’t sure how much. or If I had delivered the decisive blow in the final phase of our love saga. Just a year earlier, it seemed...

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About the author

Bold 10 Under 10 award recipient Max E. Guttman ’08, MSW ’12. Through his work as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), therapist, and disability rights advocate, J. fights for those without a voice in various systems of care. view profile

Published on November 30, 2022

20000 words

Contains mild explicit content ⚠️

Genre:Romantic Suspense

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