Blue Beams
Coming up over the bridge, it had these big blue metal beams overhead. I ain't realize them until bro mentioned something about them. Before that, though, we was crossing state lines, heading over into Iowa. I think it was about halfway, maybe a little before the middle of the bridge, I was looking down at the river below us. Frozen on top, but I knew damn well that motha-fucka was flowing underneath. I felt just like that body of water. I felt stuck and complacent back home, but I also knew I had to make a move and keep going forward with my life. Being on that bridge crossing over into Iowa had me feeling like I was really in between the two states. I felt as if I was neutral — like I was nothing. I was in the grey zone, the unknown. It's like leaving home was me leaving my old life behind. In between the two states, I was an empty vessel, vacant.
Once I crossed over into Iowa, it's as if I was an empty vessel being filled and starting its new life. Kind of like a car getting a fresh new oil change, or like I was Gus from that show Breaking Bad when he got that blood transfusion. I was in between my old life and the new one that was about to begin. Maybe that's why I was zoned out and not tuned in. Like I was a vibration of energy in between two different frequencies, being pulled by each one. Just confused and not knowing which one to gravitate towards, but in the end, I was magnetized by the greater force. All I know is that it was a bad and good feeling at the same time. A very familiar one I'd felt plenty of times before when I left the state in order to get myself right. I'd left before, but this one was different, no doubt. It felt a lot more serious, but more scary and unknown as well. Crossing the bridge wasn't nothing too special at first, even after I looked down at the river and was spacing out. It wasn't until bro mentioned the big blue beams overhead. I mean, there was one after another, and this bridge was long as fuck, so it felt like it was going on forever.
I felt like I was aging quickly until bro mentioned something else — this was when I started tripping. He said all the blue beams, back-to-back, looked and felt like the beginning of the bridge. The way my brain tuned into what he was saying made my vision tune into it as well. It made it seem as if we weren't even moving at all, like I wasn't aging at all. I just looked up and seen blue beam after blue beam, and eventually, it was as if the beams morphed together and created a big blue clear sky. I felt a sudden form or feeling of relief. Either that, or it was like an ocean, and I was ready to explore the vast open sea that was ready to take me away on its new and exciting but very scary journey into the unknown.
