āIām done waiting around. Youāre mine. No more games or pining
over someone else when itās me you want. You wonāt remember
his name after I get through with you.ā
Lily knows exactly what she wants in life. To graduate, land a high-paying job, and forge her own way. Nothing will distract her. Until the ultimate playboy, billionaire Sebastian Dubree, barges in. Not to be overlooked, Lilyās longtime crush, Jackson, decides sheās worth the fight.
Reluctant to succumb to either, she quickly becomes a challenge to conquer. Lily must decide between the familiarity of her childhood longing or the newly discovered passion ignited by the dominant CEO. But can she surrender without losing herself in the process, or will someone take matters into his own hands?
Boundaries blur between desire and resistance in this gripping coming-of-age romance, leaving readers yearning for more.
āIām done waiting around. Youāre mine. No more games or pining
over someone else when itās me you want. You wonāt remember
his name after I get through with you.ā
Lily knows exactly what she wants in life. To graduate, land a high-paying job, and forge her own way. Nothing will distract her. Until the ultimate playboy, billionaire Sebastian Dubree, barges in. Not to be overlooked, Lilyās longtime crush, Jackson, decides sheās worth the fight.
Reluctant to succumb to either, she quickly becomes a challenge to conquer. Lily must decide between the familiarity of her childhood longing or the newly discovered passion ignited by the dominant CEO. But can she surrender without losing herself in the process, or will someone take matters into his own hands?
Boundaries blur between desire and resistance in this gripping coming-of-age romance, leaving readers yearning for more.
The walk home from work tonight seems to take forever. Iām exhausted after another grueling week between work and school. What is it about Fridays that seem to drag on? Probably because Iām forced to endure Brad, my pervy boss, all day. Classes are only three days a week, so I get the privilege of working in the office all day on Wednesdays and Fridays.
Iām relieved to be walking in my front door and am instantly greeted by Ebony, the black Persian cat we adopted, weaving around my legs. She was given up because she was too affectionate. Who does that?
āHey, how was work today?ā Cici asks from the kitchen. I can see sheās already opening a bottle of wine.
My best friend, Cici, graciously lets me share her apartment for way less than what I should be paying. Rentals around Balboa Park arenāt cheap, but Ciciās family owns the building, so it affords more generosity. It was a battle getting her to accept even the little I do pay. With her knowledge of my crazy past and her family taking me in when my dad abandoned me at fifteen, her empathy runs deep and charity over the top.
Setting my stuff down, I pick up Ebony. āOh, thrilling as always. I donāt know why I havenāt started looking for something else yet.ā
āIf I hear you say that one more time before you do it, Iāll start sending out rĆ©sumĆ©s for you. What happened today?ā Cici hands me my wine while I sit down at the breakfast bar and situate Ebony on my lap.
Ā āYou know how Iāve told you Brad is weird sometimes? He had me work in his office today instead of the reception area because he said he needed me to take notes for him, which I barely even did. It was so uncomfortable. Not only did I run out of work but I couldnāt start on my homework like normal because he was sitting right there watching me. Ugh, it gave me the creeps.ā
She points her finger at me and begins her lecture. āLily, Iām telling you now, somethingās wrong with that prick. Youāve had this feeling for too long to ignore anymore. At least start looking at what else is out there. Why donāt you do that when you get bored instead of homework next time?ā
I take a big sip before answering. āI canāt look for a new job at my current job, Cici. He could catch me, and I canāt afford to get fired.ā
āYou know I have your back no matter what. If itās a matter of your safety, Iāll cover you anytime.ā
I shake my head. āI wonāt do that. Thanks to you and your family, Iāve supported myself this long. Iām not taking any more help than Iāve already had to. Anyway, all I need to do is get through the next few months, and Iām on my way to better things. Once I graduate, Iāll be able to get my foot in the door at a bigger, more prestigious marketing firm and finally start making enough money to do more than get by.ā
She slams her hand down on the counter. āUgh, itās so frustrating that you have no support in situations like this. Your loser dad will never step up, so let me be your family, and if you need help, thatās what familyās for.ā
āI know and thank you. That means a lot. Now, no more about me. How was your day?ā Cici will push and push until I give in. Iāve become an expert at redirecting.
āWait until you hear this. I found out that Layla broke up with Braden! I finally have a chance at him!ā She squeals and claps her hands.
I laugh and give her a high five. āWell, if thereās anyone who can make him forget about his girlfriend of, what, three years? It would be you.ā
Cici is the classic California girl with thick long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and a fantastic body thanks to the gym. Sheās also the most genuine person on the planet. The only reason no one has snatched her up yet is because sheās as picky as they come and doesnāt have a monogamous bone in her body. Iām the opposite, with my auburn hair, olive skin and wide hazel eyes. Boring and basic, but attractive in the girl next door kind of way. At least I have a decent body thanks to my lack of a car and budget. I walk to everything within a couple of miles and run whenever I can find the time. My diet consists of basic home-cooked meals with no room for indulgences unless Ciciās buying.
The biggest difference between us is my experience with men. The closest thing Iāve had to a boyfriend was a kiss in the closet in fifth grade. Okay, thatās exaggerating, but not by much. There just hasnāt been time since being on my own at fifteen and having to work my butt off ever since. It doesnāt leave much time for dating. Iāve gotten so good at putting off the not interested vibe that my approachability level has become nonexistent. Not to mention, the only two guys Iāve kissed since the closet incident left me with no desire to work on that issue.
āTo celebrate my new pursuit, Iāve decided weāre heading out to a new dance club thatās all the rage, and it sounds like you need it after the day you had.ā She raises her glass to clink with mine.
Instead, I leave her hanging. āOh, Cici, I donāt think Iām up for it. You know Iām not very fun at those places, and Iāll end up holding you back more than anything.ā She rolls her eyes at me and takes a drink. I can already tell her mind is made up; thereās no way Iām winning this argument. Sheās too damn good at persuasion when she digs her heels in.
Pouring more wine into our glasses, she gives me her speech. āListen, Lily, you need to get out more. It wonāt kill you to let loose for one night. You know, one of these days, you need to lose your V-card or at least explore a little further than a make-out session with someone who doesnāt know what heās doing. Then youāll see what all the fuss is about. That wonāt happen if you stay home all the time and donāt put yourself out there. Letās go for it tonight, get tipsy and see what happens.ā
āI am not going to get drunk and haveāā
She holds her hand up, palm facing me. āIām not saying you should give it up tonight. I know you better than that. Iām just suggesting you loosen up and be open to the possibility of more. Someoneās out there for you, but you need to give them a chance. Regardless, you deserve to have fun now and then, so get ready. Weāre leaving in an hour.ā She sticks her tongue out and walks off with her wine.
An hour later, Iām putting my glass away when Cici walks in and stops dead in her tracks. āWhoa, you are not going out to the hottest club in San Diego dressed like youāre going to the office. Follow me.ā She turns around without another word, leaving me staring down at myself.
How are black slacks and a nice tank top considered going to the office? Okay, I can see her point on the slacks, but I would only wear this tank with a jacket to work. Most importantly, I put wedges on instead of flats. These are way different from my work shoes. Sighing, I tread down the hallway to her room.
āI think itās fine. I donāt want to give the wrong message anyway.ā Ciciās already standing in her closet and tossing things onto the bed. I can see from here thereās nothing Iām comfortable with. Luckily, weāre similar in size other than my average chest in comparison to her voluptuous one. Most of her clothes fit me, but that doesnāt mean Iād wear most of them. Everything in her overflowing closet is trendy and expensive thanks to her trust fund, but her style and mine are like our looks, night and day. However, I do borrow something for an event now and then since nice dresses are out of my budget.
She scowls at me. āLily, stop it. Just because you dress hot doesnāt mean you have to screw anyone. It just makes guys notice you more, and thatās step one to meeting the man of your dreams. You have to stop hiding behind your wardrobe. Youāre gorgeous and you need to own it. What are you afraid of?ā
Instead of answering, I go through the stack of clothes, pick two reasonable options and hold them up. Of course, she grabs two more and pulls me into the adjoining bathroom.
āCome on, youāre trying all four, and then Iām giving you a smoky eye. Lily is coming out to play!ā She winks at me as I groan.
Thirty minutes later, weāre pulling up in the Uber, and I must admit, Iām feeling pretty damn sexy with the final look from my stylist for the evening. Exiting onto the sidewalk, I head toward the end of the line, but Cici grabs my arm and pulls me to the VIP entrance. She gives the bouncer our names. He lifts his clipboard to check the list and steps aside, motioning us in. The club is already packed. Opposite the dance floor, thereās a bar the length of the building. Separating them is an enormous staircase lit with in-floor blue lighting leading to the second level, where a balcony looms over the lower level. The club is dark, with just enough strobes and motion lighting to see throughout. The music is pumping, and it already feels stuffy. Itās going to be a long night.
I lean in to Cici. āHow did you get us on the list?ā
āMy brother knows one of the owners, and he got a table for all of us tonight. I forgot to tell you that Jackson and Braden are meeting us here. Oh look, there they are.ā She points up to the balcony, where you can see the tables through the glass railing.
There he is. Jackson Soloman. The one guy I canāt seem to keep from thinking about, wishing I was good enough for. Iāve been in love with him since Cici and I became friends during freshman year of high school and I went over to her house for the first time. It was an instant crush. Her older brother by three years, and the hottest boy I had ever seen. If thereās one guy who makes me want to do more than make out, itās him. The problem is, I donāt think heās ever considered me as anything other than his little sisterās annoying friend. Why are they even joining us anyway?
Cici starts climbing the stairs, and I pull her arm to stop her. āWhy are they here? We never go out together.ā
āWell, I wanted to get us into the club without waiting in a line we might never get through, and voilĆ , here we are. I begged Jackson to get us on the VIP list with his connection, and luckily for me he made joining us a condition. Like Iād say no to spending time with Braden, duh. Now come on, letās have some fun.ā She resumes up the stairs, giving me no choice but to follow.
We walk to where Jackson and Braden are sitting, drinks already on the table with a bottle on ice. Jackson looks amazing, and instantly my insecurities come out in full force. āHey, ladies, looking good!ā Braden says, looking us up and down as we take our seats. āAnyone ready to join me in getting shit-faced tonight and drowning our sorrows?ā He lifts his drink in salute and takes a big gulp.
āYouāll have to excuse Braden. Heās on a mission to forget āshe who must not be named,ā and alcohol is the poison of choice,ā Jackson explains, looking at Braden with concern. āItās why we came tonight.ā Well, that explains that.
āI canāt join you in drowning sorrows, Braden, but Iāll join you in getting hammered,ā Cici happily agrees. I know how excited she is that heās finally free of Layla, but I hope sheās not setting herself up for disappointment. āWhat are you guys drinking tonight?ā she asks.
āOnly the best for a breakupātequila, tonic and lime. Would you ladies care for one?ā He lifts the bottle from the ice, ready to fill two more glasses.
Cici pushes her glass toward him as I shake my head. āNo thanks. Iāll start with prosecco.ā Thank goodness Cici told me the drinks are on them tonight. Otherwise, Iād be stuck with cheap beer.
Jackson waves the waitress over, and I order while Braden makes Cici her drink. āHey, Jackson, thanks for getting us in tonight. That was nice of you.ā Iām awkwardly trying to pull the dress down past my upper thigh. Cici insisted I wear this short, dark blue, curve-hugging dress, telling me, āIt makes your chest pop and your legs go on forever.ā Sheās full of it, but sometimes you have to agree to get her mouth to stop moving.
āThis oneāāJackson pats Cici on the headāāwas relentless. She wouldnāt take no for an answer and said it was the only thing she would ask of me until next year.ā
āNo way! Cici wouldnāt accept no? I find that so hard to believe!ā I say sarcastically, putting my hand over my chest.
āYep, you know Ciciāwhen she wants something, she gets it. If only we could all be like that.ā He contemplates for a moment before he slaps Braden on the back. āIt happened to be perfect timing since someone here needed a bit of a distraction.ā
āDude, this is great. Look at that dance floor and all it has to offer. If this canāt cure a broken heart, I donāt know what will. Thanks for getting us out tonight, Cici. I, for one, am grateful. Cheers!ā Braden holds his glass up, and we all follow, toasting to Cici. Sheās blushing like crazy of course. Good for her that she has her chance. Maybe one day Iāll get mine.
āWhoās ready to join me on the dance floor?ā Braden asks right after we all take a sip. This level has another dance floor, so we donāt have to go far.
āOh, me for sure! Come on, Lily, letās go.ā Cici tugs my arm as she gets up. Pulling out of her grasp, I quickly down my glass of prosecco, then rush to catch up.
Itās packed. Everybody is glistening with sweat and bumping into one another. I try my best to keep from touching anyone and stay within our small circle, but soon Braden has two girls surrounding him, separating us, and Cici has a couple of guys vying for her attention as well. Suddenly, I feel someone behind me, and I turn around to see a guy smiling, tilting his head in question. I smile back shyly, reminding myself what Cici said. Just because I put myself out there doesnāt mean I have to sleep with anyone. I dance with a few inches between us for a while, but heās slowly closing the distance. The guy is good-looking and smells great, but he isnāt the one I want to be with. This is the problem being here with Jacksonāheās all I think about. Ugh.
Suddenly, Mr. Smooth Moveās hands are on either side of my hips, holding me close. I can feel his package against my stomach. Gross. I try to pull back a bit, but heās holding me tight. He leans his head toward my neck, and I push him, forcing him to release me. After breaking free, I decide to leave the dance floor for another drink. Cici seems happy with both guys grinding on her, so I leave her alone.
I return to the table and find Jackson talking with a beautiful blonde. It doesnāt surprise me; thereās never a shortage of gorgeous women throwing themselves at him, and heās usually not batting them away. Jackson is dreamy with his bodyguard physique. Heās worked hard in the gym habitually since his high school football days. He also inherited the family genes of blond hair, blue eyes and a face that makes you want to stare at it for daysāsomething I had to train myself not to do early on. Heās a model for all womenās wet dreams.
I notice a full glass of prosecco waiting for me in place of my empty one. āThanks for the drink,ā I say, taking a large sip.
āSure, figured you may need it after fending off that jackass out there.ā He motions behind me, and I turn to see he has a perfect view of the dance floor. I notice Cici is still going strong, but I swear itās two different guys now.
I turn back. āIt was fine. He just got a little ahead of himself. I donāt know why guys always assume anything goes on the dance floor.ā Although, judging by the girl hanging on Jacksonās every word with obvious lust, the assumptions probably arenāt far off.
āWell, Iām in an anything-goes kind of mood if youād like to join me out thereā¦,ā Blondie says seductively while pouting up at Jackson, proving my thoughts correct.
āNot yet, babe. Iām here as moral support for my buddy and might need to carry him out later. Here he comes now,ā he says, looking behind me.
āI guess Iāll leave you to it then. Come find me if you change your mind,ā Bombshell purrs before she kisses Jackson on the cheek and saunters off, blatantly strutting her ass. Ugh, Iām internally rolling my eyes.
Cici joins us at the same time Braden makes it back. āWhy did you come back to the table? Itās not as fun out there without you.ā She pouts.
āIt looked like you were having plenty of fun from what I saw, so donāt even try to guilt trip me. I left ācause some prick started getting too handsy. Perfect timing to get another drink anyway.ā I show her my glass and take another sip.
Cici doesnāt let me off that easily. āThe guy dancing with you looked pretty cute. Maybe you shouldāve let him be a little handsy or at least had him buy you a drink,ā she says, wagging her eyebrows.
āLuckily, Jackson already had another one waiting. Besides, thereās no way Iām letting some creep put his hands all over me just because weāre dancing. He didnāt even ask my name,ā I say incredulously.
Braden, whoās succeeded in drinking enough to forget his problems, decides to chime in about mine. āThatās not how it works out there, babeānames are for later. I think little virgin Lily is just scared to get her feet wet. Maybe you should give it another shot. Cici can show you how itās done.ā The shock on my face is apparent. Itās not a secret that my virgin status is well-known among everyone present, but thatās just a low blow, and what makes it even worse is Jackson practically spits his beer out laughing. Great, just great.
Ā āI guess thereās no shortage of pricks here tonight,ā I rant, looking at Braden and Jackson.
Deciding Iāve had enough fun for one night, I lean in to hug my best friend. āYou know what, I think Iām just going to head out. Iām tired after this week. You stay and enjoy yourself, and Iāll text you when I make it home.ā I quickly turn around, grab my purse and run down the stairs before Cici can protest.
Iām halfway down when I hit a wall. A solid, warm wall that smells dreadfully sinful. Before I have time to process, two firm hands are on my shoulders to steady me. āHey, watch where youāre goingā comes the deepest, sexiest voice imaginable, which would be incredibly hot if the words spoken were anything other than rude and demanding. Looking up, which is crazy, considering Iām one step higher, I freeze as my eyes land on a dark, handsome god of a man who looks like he wants to commit murder. What is it with me and jerks tonight?
His eyes get bigger, and his brows furrow as soon as my shocked gaze meets his. He has short black hair thatās longer on the top and styled perfectly. His menacing eyebrows are folded downward from scowling at me. The dark scruff that shadows his face is so sexy, trimmed razor straight, accentuating his perfectly chiseled jaw. Mentally slapping myself, I apologize.
āCrap, Iām so sorry. I didnāt see you there.ā He doesnāt release his hold.
āThatās because your head was down. Your eyes should be looking forward.ā His voice is hard and demanding.
Flustered andāI reluctantly admitāslightly turned on by his strong, firm grip and penetrating stare, I stand there frozen in place. After what seems like minutes but Iām sure is only seconds, I snap out of it and apologize again. āSorry, Iāll watch where Iām going from now on.ā The words rush out as I pull away to leave, this time keeping my head up. I think I hear him say something else behind me, but I donāt stop. Running into one of the hottest guys Iāve seen in a while shouldāve been the highlight of my night. Instead, Iām more irritated. Do all good-looking men have a license to be an ass, or what?
Once Iām outside the club, I decide to take the bus. An Uber alone is too expensive and an indulgence I donāt need. Luckily, itās perfect timing; the rain has let up, and my app says itās only a few blocks to the stop and five minutes until it arrives. Friday night in downtown San Diego is busy, so Iām not worried about being alone, but just to be safe, I have my phone ready to push the emergency button because you never know. Once I reach the bus stop, I sit on the empty bench, and suddenly, a nervousness creeps over me, accompanied by a feeling of being watched. My instincts tell me to do what any intelligent person would do. I look down at my phone, then bring it to my ear to answer an imaginary call. Because who can kidnap you when youāre talking with someone on the phone, right? Iām relieved to see the bus pulling up a few seconds later and quickly rise to hop on.
Arriving home safe and sound, I text Cici good night, get ready for bed and finally crawl under the covers with Ebony snuggled up to me. My mind immediately starts reflecting on the night. God, Iām honestly so sick of being a virgin. It never fails to come up. Iām sick of guys being pricks too. Sometimes I wish I could meet someone who finally does it for me other than Jackson. And what was with that jerk on the way out? Thatās the problem with gorgeous men. Theyāre pompous, domineering bastards who think women will drop their panties and do anything they want. I close my eyes and try to focus my mind on positive things. After what seems like forever tossing and turning, trying to wrangle my thoughts, sleep finally overcomes me.
***
Waking up Saturday morning, Iām just as irritated as the night before and decide my positive thinking didnāt do me any good. But a good cup of coffee may do the trick. I donāt usually indulge in morning lattes, but I think I deserve it after enduring the crap from yesterday and last night. I throw on joggers and a shirt, put my hair in a messy bun and head out the door. My favorite coffee spot is only a few blocks away. No Starbucks for this girl. One, itās ridiculously priced, and two, I donāt like their coffee. Iām not sure what all the fuss is about unless you want insanely sweet, fattening drinks that come in a size no ordinary human being should be consuming. Nope, a regular nonfat latte will do while supporting a local business.
The elevator doors open into the lobby, where Jackson is waiting to get on. Great, just what I needed. āGood morning,ā I say as I step out. Jackson also lives in the building because why wouldnāt he? Their family owns a ton of real estate in San Diego, but this is their best residential building.
He holds the door open and faces me. āMorning, Lils. Hey, sorry about last night. Braden was drunk and acting like an ass. He didnāt mean any harm, and I shouldnāt have laughed.ā
āYeah, well, I should be used to the teasing by now, but sometimes it gets old. Thanks for apologizing, though. Soā¦ are you just getting home? Mustāve been quite the night.ā Shit, Iām cringing inside. Why did I even ask that? Itās obvious since heās wearing the same clothes from last night. Apparently, I like punishing myself.
He looks at me sheepishly. āYeah, I guess it was.ā
āWell, good for you then. See you later, Jackson.ā I wave goodbye, turn around and walk outside. Wow, if that isnāt the writing on the wall. I need to get over him in a bad way.
The sun is finally shining after three days of rain, and itās a balmy sixty degrees this morning. Nice enough to enjoy the walk down the street, and after a couple of blocks, Iām starting to feel better. A little vitamin D goes a long way. I get my coffee and start the trek back, soaking up the sun.
Walking in, I see Cici making her own cup of coffee. āSorry, Cici, I didnāt expect to see you up until this afternoon, or I would have grabbed you something.ā
āThatās okay. It ended up being a way earlier night than expected since someone decided to get blackout drunk so early. I left with Jackson to help wrangle Braden into the Uber. I donāt know why heās so upset about this breakup; she was such a bitch.ā
āWell, three years is a long time no matter what. And yeah, he was wasted all right. I canāt believe he had the nerve to call me out and be a jerk about it.ā My anger returns in full force.
āYou know people say things they donāt mean when theyāre drunk. It was a dick move though. I bet heāll apologize today if he even remembers it. How was your Uber ride home?ā she asks.
I look down at my coffee guiltily. āI ended up taking the bus. The stop was just a couple blocks down, and the bus wasnāt far away. It all worked out,ā I spit out quickly, already seeing the look of disapproval on her face.
āLily! You know thatās not a good idea at night by yourself. I couldāve ordered your Uber from my phone, silly. No wonder it took so long to hear you made it home. Jackson was driving me crazy, asking every five minutes if I got your text.ā
āThatās weird. Why would he care? I figured he didnāt even notice I left.ā Iām shocked he even gave me a second thought. And this is my problemāI hear one thing about Jackson, and Iām hooked.
āYou know him, heās a worrywart, always thinking the worst. And of course he noticed. Youāre my best friend and important to me. So, what are you doing today and the rest of the weekend?ā she asks.
āRight now, a run to clear my head. Then Iām staying in until I get my final project done thatās due this week. Itās 80 percent of my grade, and even though Iāve pretty much nailed it, I want to add some finishing touches. And most importantly, I need to catch up on my sleep.ā Story of my life.
3.5 stars rounded up to 4. Ā
This is the authorās first book which is impressive! The story follows Lily, a college senior working at a small marketing firm, and Sebastian who co-runs a corporation with his brother. Lily bumps into Sebastian while leaving a bar, and there is an instant attraction between the two. However, their brief conversation is not pleasant. This becomes an issue when Lily learns that her firm is trying to acquire Sebastianās company as a client. She then has to convince Sebastian to work with them while fending off his persistent romantic pursuits. Sebastian makes it clear that he is interested in short-term fun but Lily is not willing to give it to him. Their relationship is a rollercoaster, and the book does a good job of exploring this dynamic. It is entertaining in the same way that After by Anna Todd is entertaining, so you should pick this book up if you enjoy that series!Ā
There are a few factors that brought my rating down, though. The first is the way that the author wrote the dialogue. It just doesnāt flow well or read like sentences that people would actually say. The book also attempts the love triangle trope, yet Sebastian has his own point of view which makes it clear who the romantic interest is going to be. Another trope in this book is instant love/instant attraction, so be aware going into it. Additionally, the story would have benefitted from character growth unrelated to the spice. Sebastian demonstrates some, but it is rushed and not fully fleshed out. There is no clear personal growth in Lily's character.
The more serious issue is the lack of consent. Without giving too much away, Sebastian pursues Lily rather aggressively despite her continuously pushing him away. There is then a scene in which Lily is not given the entire context of a situation and is asked to make an important decision rather quickly and in the moment that rubbed me the wrong way.Ā
Despite these issues, this book is very enjoyable. The characters have great communication with one another, and the third-act breakup is realistic rather than frustrating. The dual points of view set an excellent pace for the story and keep the reader entertained. On top of this, the storyline is not too predictable and the plot is well balanced with the spice. This is a book that I would recommend, and I look forward to reading more of the series!
Content warning for sexual assault.