“Be Yourself. Everybody else is already taken.”

~ Oscar Wilde

Have you ever wondered what you would say to your younger self if you could travel back in time and talk to them ? I do. There are so many things I would say to my younger self to prepare her for the future and give her all the advantages I now know that she would need. The problem is that I don’t know if I would even recognize her to introduce myself. The person I am today is so completely different that I don’t think I would know the old me even if I ran straight into her. And would the earlier version of me listen to the older, wiser, and more experienced version of me? Would she appreciate the heads up about all of the things that are to come? Or would she smirk and walk away, choosing to do whatever she wanted anyhow? 

It’s a great philosophical question. But it is also an important one because, just as there is a past you, there is a future you. And the future you is trying to share vast stores of knowledge with present you. How can you access that knowledge today to maximize your opportunities and build the life you are destined to live? The best way to access future knowledge is to borrow from the knowledge that is available all around you. 

Today, most people know me as a successful entrepreneur. I own several thriving businesses, I’m a keynote speaker, a speaking coach, and a podcast host. I am active in several industries and in my community, I have more friends than I can count, and I genuinely enjoy getting to know people.

What most people don’t know is that I was not always this person. In fact, I was not even remotely close. 

Growing up, I was the “odd kid” at school. I was introverted, socially awkward, and I struggled with ADHD. Back then if you were different, you had to learn to live with it or be crushed by a system that was not designed to cater to anyone outside the traditional norms.

When I struggled with focusing in class, I was told that I just had to “try harder” to sit still and “stop interrupting.” When I struggled socially or found it difficult to not interrupt the teacher, I was banished from the classroom. I spent most of my time either standing out in the hallway for being disruptive in class or sitting alone reading a book because I didn’t know how to make friends. Gym class was filled with potential issues like the choosing of teams for sports because I was always one of the last ones picked or, if I was picking, I wasn’t brave enough to speak up and choose in case I made the wrong choice.

My school years represented a pretty isolating time during which I spent most of my days with imaginary friends I found on the pages of books. When I tore myself away from the wonderful escape books provided, I was forced back into the “real world” where I had to wonder what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t just make friends or join a conversation with ease like other people did.

I tried several tactics to address my anemic social circle. I would get new hairstyles or ask my mom to take me shopping for new clothes, thinking that if I could just look a certain way and fit in that I could pass as “normal,” but the differences between myself and everyone else. I always stuck out no matter how I changed my outward appearance. That’s because those differences were far more than skin deep. 

I felt socially isolated and my primary friendships were with adults or imaginary friends. I had no idea that someday I would experience a level of success and joy and abundance and connection beyond my wildest dreams. Not only that but the things about me that made me different would one day become my most valuable commodities.

So how did the transformation take place? How did a shy, socially awkward introvert like me turn into a master relationship builder? And are the lessons I learned available to everyone else? Even you? Well, the answer is that you can evolve. You can do it without trying to be someone you are not. That’s right. You can be authentically you while maximizing all of the unique qualities you alone possess. I am going to share with you exactly how.

First, let me give a bit more history and context.