"Never give a hundred percent." I first heard this phrase, which also serves as the title of the book in your hands, from Monica during her TEDx talk in 2018. I must admit, at that moment, I listened to it with some skepticism. In the words of Byung-Chul Han, whom Monica references, we live in a " The Burnout Society," a society filled with excessive positivity that coined the slogan "Yes We Can." Ironically, this positivity has driven us toward self-exploitation, leaving us as "exhausted, unfulfilled, and depressed individuals."

When Monica said, "Never give a hundred percent," echoing the advice of her sister, it piqued my curiosity. However, the author underpins this phrase with a powerful and fundamental premise that we seem to have forgotten: "We can make mistakes," and even more so, "Our mistakes aren't as monumental as we often believe." By making us aware of this, these two simple statements bring us closer to the heart of this book, which is about the shared humanity we all possess. In Monica's words, it's crucial to have those special people in our lives who, when we stumble, help us avoid feeling humiliated, vulnerable, sad, or frustrated.

Why do we make mistakes? Why are we so hard on ourselves? For the author, personal accountability ties into our disciplined concept of taking responsibility for our actions. This leads us to believe that if we can't keep the promises we make to ourselves, how can we keep them for others? But, beneath it all, is there not a desire to always be the best? To always give our all? To always aim for a hundred percent? In short, “the belief that work is the core of our existence”.

The moment, in my opinion, that defines the book's powerful approach is when it unites two concepts that should be marked as "use at your own risk, or you might get burned": meritocracy and recognition. The first of these is meritocracy which, in the author's words, "facilitates economic and social inequality because not all individuals have the opportunity to stand out." The other is recognition, which can turn into dependence or addiction.

Through everyday examples and metaphors, Monica elucidates the true essence of Never giving a hundred percent and why it doesn't equate to irresponsibility. In fact, the first major misconception a reader might encounter while perusing these pages – one I also fell into when I first heard this phrase in 2018 – is to assume that it advocates laziness or, even worse, invites ridicule, irrationality, or selfishness. Nothing could be further from the truth. Monica, through her words and experiences, guides us away from the superego towards self-compassion, responsibility, self-honesty, willingness, and self-preservation.

The secret Monica shares with us through her pleasant, nimble, and entertaining writing is self-compassion. It's about taking care of ourselves physically and mentally. By the end of this journey that she takes us on, you'll find yourself complicit in the author's exploration, echoing her mantra: Never give a hundred percent. To achieve this, dear reader, we need training, the ability to face adversity, and strategic thinking.

Should we give our a hundred percent? Monica reminds us that the decision is one we make for ourselves.

Rogelio Segovia González 

Founder, Human Leader 

Monterrey, Mexico

humanleader.mx

Introduction

In life, I've learned that the scale of a problem is often directly linked to the number of witnesses present at the moment of its occurrence. Let me illustrate this: Missing a free throw during a basketball practice session is worlds apart from missing it in a packed stadium during a crucial playoff game. Or consider this: announcing the wrong film as the best of the year at the most anticipated awards ceremony in the film industry not only leaves the audience baffled for a few minutes but also bewilders the thousands of viewers watching the event.

Contemplating the magnitude of such blunders leads me to the realization that my own mistakes might not be as monumental as I tend to believe. And let me tell you, I make my fair share of them. In fact, there's a good chance I'm making some mistakes even as you read these lines.

I find myself erring here and there, almost daily. Sometimes, I daydream about having a magic wand, pointing it at random objects, and causing minor accidents – though now that I think about it, that sounds rather mischievous. What I really mean is that I wish I had company when I mess up so that my humiliation isn't solely mine to bear. These are the thoughts that occasionally bring me solace. I recall a time when, for a friend's birthday, I was entrusted with bringing the cake. As I entered the house, without warning, I clumsily dropped it, feeling self-conscious in front of my friends who were hardly paying any attention to me. Since that day, I've come to believe that the more self-aware I am, the more prone I am to making mistakes.

I must confess that, most of the time, my mistakes irk me. They make me feel exposed, disheartened, and frustrated. At times, they even tempt me to throw in the towel and question, Why am I still doing this? What's the point of all the effort I've invested so far if I'm just going to bungle it when it matters most? Much like my friend's cake, splattered on the floor, I can't help but think, “It was fine until I got my hands on it. What's wrong with me?” It's the kind of situation that makes me roll my eyes and heave a sigh of exasperation.

How can I stop feeling this way after every mistake? Am I demanding too much of myself?

The answer: I can't, and I won't stop feeling frustrated after every mistake. But what I can do now is react better, taking responsibility for my actions while minimizing my discomfort and frustration. Below, I'll share how I've managed to strike that balance.

The concept of Never give a hundred percent stems from numerous experiences throughout my professional journey. I'm a graphic designer with over a decade of experience. I consider myself creative, observant, and open-minded. Often, I make quick decisions based on my initial impressions – even when it comes to design. I'm the kind of person who judges books by their covers. I do it because I recognize the effort invested in their development and design. I value the hours and revisions poured into the final product, as well as the rejected proposals along the way – because I've experienced the rejection of my ideas and the frustration of having a client choose precisely the ideas that I developed with less enthusiasm out of all the ones that I presented to them.

This situation is a common irony in my profession. Designers typically present three to five proposals, with an average of two strong ones. Yet, clients often gravitate toward the designs that designers regard as uninspired and expendable.

When clients do select one of the proposals that took little effort on my part – one that was almost an afterthought – I find it rather amusing. In my mind, I've won the first round without even breaking a sweat.

Let me clarify, out of respect for fellow designers, that these “happy accidents” don't necessarily guarantee success for the client. But this is just one of the many scenarios creatives like me face when confronted with vague instructions like “add more design to it.” In response, designers like me might resort to desperate measures: splashes of color, the occasional tear, and an assortment of icons.

As a graphic designer, I'm quick to spot visual communication blunders. I cringe when I see heavily retouched photos, recoil white text on a yellow background, and am genuinely appalled when I discover a pre-designed template in an invitation or poster. Professionally, due to these idiosyncrasies, I'm my harshest critic. People have told me things like “you're too tough on yourself” or commented on my work-related demands and the stress and anxiety they induce. To be honest, such remarks were unnecessary. Graphic designers may not save the planet, but we can certainly envision a better world through compelling images and compositions.

It's possible that, in most situations, the people around me were right about how hard I was on myself. But I also believe in taking responsibility for my actions. There are moments when we must face ourselves, look in the mirror, and acknowledge our mistakes. We need to be more cautious next time or ensure that the same mistake doesn't happen again. It's crucial that these mistakes don't paralyze us or leave us frustrated because it's better to keep moving forward.

When I make mistakes, I often repeat to myself like a mantra: “Don't get stuck in a rut.” I even visualize myself on my knees, crying, adding unnecessary drama to feel more committed to moving forward. After all, if we can't keep the promises we make to ourselves, how can we keep the promises we make to others?

What I've learned over time is that I can control how I react. I can sketch out a backup plan in my mind before starting any project in case things don't go as expected. I've identified what comes naturally to me, such as designing an engaging slide or knowing that if I want to emphasize certain text, increasing its size and using a bold color can be effective.

I've also realized the importance of choosing opportunities carefully, based on my abilities and current commitments. I love making short films, but I don't do it frequently because it demands a lot of my time, and I likely have other tasks to deliver soon.

With all these considerations, I've developed a professional strategy to make my activities more efficient and overcome common obstacles. It involves better energy management, allowing me to make optimal decisions in the face of challenges without experiencing personal burnout. I've learned not to volunteer for every professional proposal and not to invent additional activities that I mistakenly consider career priorities. I've learned to set limits and not give one hundred percent to everything, understanding the wisdom behind the saying, 'Spreading oneself too thin,' which emphasizes the importance of focusing on priorities and avoiding overcommitment. Those who overextend themselves in pursuit of rewards may face disappointments due to external factors, such as a boss or superior making decisions that don't align with their expectations. In the workplace, everything can sometimes be a “take it or leave it” scenario because no one is indispensable.

The truth is, there’s the possibility that overwhelming job might not be essential for you, and compromising your mental and physical health for a profession that drains you could be preventing you from achieving the quality of life you deserve.

How can you face differently the situations in your life that require some effort on your part?

Let me share an example: I'm a big fan of video games; they relax me and provide valuable distraction. If you enjoy them too, think about this while playing your favorite game: In what conditions do you enjoy it most? For me, it's about focusing on the screen, immersing myself in the story, and if possible, using headphones to savor the in-game music. If it's an adventure with various missions, I use in-game tools to succeed and progress.

Why not apply the same conditions to other areas of life? Why not save these tools and, in real-life situations, conserve your energy for the defining moments in our lives?

This is what Never give a hundred percent is all about: discerning where to give your all, prioritizing yourself, and creating opportunities on your terms without compromising your well-being or authenticity.