A parent's worse nightmare is losing a child. Sadly, Dee's worst nightmare came true. My Forever Angel is an emotional story about a mother's journey through pain, emptiness, and finally healing a broken heart. 

Dee Jacks had a turbulent marriage, but it did have one shiny moment: the birth of her son, Tony. Dee wanted a better life for herself and her son, so she enlisted in the Navy. Military life had its struggles for a single parent. Family and friends chipped in on childcare duties so that Dee could fulfill her job obligations. Navy life means being surrounded by numerous men on a vessel. Dee got the attention of several crew members, but she wanted more in life than a hook-up. Dee turned to online dating, where she met John Matthew: an Army veteran and father. Their courtship went from 0-60 in 2 seconds. They met, and NINE short days later, they were engaged! I was not shocked in the least bit that problems soon arose, but I was stunned at how deep the problems ran. 

Cheating spouse. STD. Unexpected pregnancies. Jealousy. The stress wasn't good for Dee and her unborn child. The toll caused Dee to rush to the hospital two days before Thanksgiving. Irregular labor pains, high blood pressure, and her son's lack of movement were cause for alarm. As Thanksgiving came and went, a medical misstep jeopardized her unborn son's life. When you give birth, time stands still until you hear your child's first cry. Once you listen to it, you can breathe a sigh of relief. Dee didn't hear John Mathew Junior cry. The silence creates fear.

John Mathew Junior weighed in at 3lbs 2oz. He had oxygen tubes coming from his mouth. The sight might've been overwhelming and frightening. You wonder and hope that your child will be okay. As Dee touched her son's hand in the NICU, my heart skipped a beat. Mother to mother, I understand her mixed emotions. The instant love you feel for this tiny miracle. Wishing you could help ease their pain and make them all better. And fear death is lurking nearby, ready to snatch your sweet child away. 

Dee's home life was in turmoil. Her emotional state was taking one hit after another. She's trying her best to keep her family together and be strong for her children. Dee's heart was getting torn into a million pieces. Her body was being torn into two. The Navy wants her back to work, uncaring about her predicament. Duty called, and she must answer it. Dee said she had no support at work or home. She felt alone. Again, I felt every ounce of her pain, suffering, and struggles. 

I can't fathom how Dee felt watching other babies leave the NICU while her precious bundle remained. I wanted to give her what no one else had done until this point, a hug. I wanted to put the HMC (Chief Hospital Corpsman) in their place when they blamed Dee's "lack of devotion" on John Junior's lack of progress. The HMC's words and actions were unprofessional and insensitive. 

When John Junior passed, I wept and kept crying until John's despicable antics were back in full bloom. My mind couldn't grasp why Dee stayed with John for so long. He cheated multiple times, gave her an STD, wasn't there for her or their dying child, and gave zero support. How the Navy treated Dee during this painful portion of her life was not shocking in the slightest bit. I'm familiar with military life, so I know firsthand how the branches always let down their soldiers. Our military needs to support our soldiers in time of need! 

Losing a child is the hardest thing in the world. It creates a hole that you feel will never heal. My heart breaks for any parent who loses a child. My heart broke for Dee. 

I recommend you read My Forever Angel. My advice: bring tissues!