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I recommend you bring tissues when you sit down to read "My Forever Angel." It's an emotional story that will break your heart.

Synopsis

Have you ever loved so deeply that if something happened to the person, you would possibly lose your mind? Imagine losing a child. Your heart feels like it's racing and stopping at the same time. You're in disbelief because your angel will never come home. This is that story. The pain, the anguish, the grief, and the healing.

A parent's worse nightmare is losing a child. Sadly, Dee's worst nightmare came true. My Forever Angel is an emotional story about a mother's journey through pain, emptiness, and finally healing a broken heart. 


Dee Jacks had a turbulent marriage, but it did have one shiny moment: the birth of her son, Tony. Dee wanted a better life for herself and her son, so she enlisted in the Navy. Military life had its struggles for a single parent. Family and friends chipped in on childcare duties so that Dee could fulfill her job obligations. Navy life means being surrounded by numerous men on a vessel. Dee got the attention of several crew members, but she wanted more in life than a hook-up. Dee turned to online dating, where she met John Matthew: an Army veteran and father. Their courtship went from 0-60 in 2 seconds. They met, and NINE short days later, they were engaged! I was not shocked in the least bit that problems soon arose, but I was stunned at how deep the problems ran. 


Cheating spouse. STD. Unexpected pregnancies. Jealousy. The stress wasn't good for Dee and her unborn child. The toll caused Dee to rush to the hospital two days before Thanksgiving. Irregular labor pains, high blood pressure, and her son's lack of movement were cause for alarm. As Thanksgiving came and went, a medical misstep jeopardized her unborn son's life. When you give birth, time stands still until you hear your child's first cry. Once you listen to it, you can breathe a sigh of relief. Dee didn't hear John Mathew Junior cry. The silence creates fear.


John Mathew Junior weighed in at 3lbs 2oz. He had oxygen tubes coming from his mouth. The sight might've been overwhelming and frightening. You wonder and hope that your child will be okay. As Dee touched her son's hand in the NICU, my heart skipped a beat. Mother to mother, I understand her mixed emotions. The instant love you feel for this tiny miracle. Wishing you could help ease their pain and make them all better. And fear death is lurking nearby, ready to snatch your sweet child away. 


Dee's home life was in turmoil. Her emotional state was taking one hit after another. She's trying her best to keep her family together and be strong for her children. Dee's heart was getting torn into a million pieces. Her body was being torn into two. The Navy wants her back to work, uncaring about her predicament. Duty called, and she must answer it. Dee said she had no support at work or home. She felt alone. Again, I felt every ounce of her pain, suffering, and struggles. 


I can't fathom how Dee felt watching other babies leave the NICU while her precious bundle remained. I wanted to give her what no one else had done until this point, a hug. I wanted to put the HMC (Chief Hospital Corpsman) in their place when they blamed Dee's "lack of devotion" on John Junior's lack of progress. The HMC's words and actions were unprofessional and insensitive. 


When John Junior passed, I wept and kept crying until John's despicable antics were back in full bloom. My mind couldn't grasp why Dee stayed with John for so long. He cheated multiple times, gave her an STD, wasn't there for her or their dying child, and gave zero support. How the Navy treated Dee during this painful portion of her life was not shocking in the slightest bit. I'm familiar with military life, so I know firsthand how the branches always let down their soldiers. Our military needs to support our soldiers in time of need! 


Losing a child is the hardest thing in the world. It creates a hole that you feel will never heal. My heart breaks for any parent who loses a child. My heart broke for Dee. 


I recommend you read My Forever Angel. My advice: bring tissues! 

Reviewed by

I've been constructing reviews for over a decade and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Most of the reviews will be featured on my blog (Kam's Place), Pinterest, Instagram, BlueSky, and Goodreads. Don't forget to tip your waitress! :D

Synopsis

Have you ever loved so deeply that if something happened to the person, you would possibly lose your mind? Imagine losing a child. Your heart feels like it's racing and stopping at the same time. You're in disbelief because your angel will never come home. This is that story. The pain, the anguish, the grief, and the healing.

Chapter 1

The Navy brought me to the Naval Station Norfolk, in Norfolk, VA. I was dealing with the burden of leaving my son, yet again, in Georgia. I entered the Navy two years prior for him, as he deserved a better life and a better chance. I refused to let him walk down the same road as his bio. 

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself; I am so sorry. My name is Dee Jacks, and my son’s name is Tony Tom. Yeah, I know both of our names sound corny, but it is what it is (laughing out loud). I was born in Hampton, Virginia, and raised in Valdosta, Georgia, a small town where everyone knew everyone. I had a ton of relatives and friends there, creating a sense of belonging and safety within.

Outside of family and friends, I met my now, ex-husband in Valdosta. During our relationship, we had a son together, Tony. I went through a lot with my ex, as he did terrible things, and I made some bad choices too. With everyone insinuating that Tony would end up just like him, it was time for me to end the marriage and shield my son from the darkness of his father.  Reclaiming our lives, I decided to enlist in the Navy, and I wasn’t going to look back. 

The Navy didn’t function around nor accommodate the needs of single parents, so it was difficult to find childcare, as my first duty station was a Marine base.  My family and best friends extended their help during that time, and I was so grateful for them.  Eventually, I left my first duty station in California, settling on the East Coast with easier access to my child.  Additionally, I was able to take a leave of absence for a couple months, and it was so much fun. 

Sadly, the fun ended, and I reported to my ship. I was not looking forward to this life, but when I enlisted, I felt like I was out of options. As a mother, I did what was necessary for the best interest of my son. I was on the ship, not even five days, and the men were already hitting on me. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t like it, but it was entirely different from the real world. I decided I wanted to meet guys another way, so I stepped into online dating. I didn’t know what I was going to get, but it was worth a shot.

I was extremely up front in my bio, emphasizing my status as a single parent, highlighting my son and I as a packaged deal. A man could not have one without the other. I encountered a couple of failed dates which reminded me why I should have steered away from online connections. I was looking for a man who would give me comfort; a man I could trust with my heart, showing real love which was the opposite of what my ex and other men exhibited in my past.

I gave my life to Christ when I was six years old, and I took that relationship seriously for an exceptionally long time. Then, when I was around twelve years of age, my mom had a total breakdown. She would hit me, put me outside, and do other hurtful things she couldn’t remember. At that point, I lost my faith in God because I couldn’t believe He would allow one of his servants to become so aggressive and abusive. Consequently, I ran away from home at age seventeen and always welcomed men as the center of my life. I chose the flesh instead of making sure God was the center and keeping it that way. In the end, it stripped away my peace of mind.

When I love, I love deeply, blinding myself to misdeeds so I can encourage and support the best in a man, even if he is the worst. I expect what I give in return, despising a man when he takes advantage of me and throws my kindness back in my face. Like I said, I was searching for what I should have been waiting for. Then, I met him.



Candi Usher
Candi Usher shared an update on My Forever Angelalmost 2 years ago
almost 2 years ago
This book is still on fire. If you haven't read it, go read it. It just received 5 stars on my website, and the feedback has been amazing. If you can relate to this story, I want to hear from you. Thank you!!
Candi Usher
Candi Usher shared an update on My Forever Angelalmost 2 years ago
almost 2 years ago
Thank you for the upvotes!! I absolutely appreciate them!! Please share this story so it can keep being upvoted. I want this to teach as many hearts as possible. And leave messages also telling me what you think. Thank you!!
Candi Usher
Candi Usher shared an update on My Forever Angelalmost 2 years ago
almost 2 years ago
Go read, then upvote my book. I promise you won't be disappointed. This book will open your heart and mind to a story not often told not spoken of because it's so painful and soul shattering.
Candi Usher
Candi Usher shared an update on My Forever Angelalmost 2 years ago
almost 2 years ago
My book is out, and I'm looking for any other reviews.
Candi Usher
Candi Usher shared an update on My Forever Angelalmost 2 years ago
almost 2 years ago
By the way, please leave a review https://reedsy.com/discovery/book/my-forever-angel-candi-jones#review
Candi Usher
Candi Usher shared an update on My Forever Angelalmost 2 years ago
almost 2 years ago
I don't have but one follower right now, but I'll work with that. If you want a book about the staunch reality of the treatment of women in the military, "My Forever Angel" will give you that. Women in the military seem almost punished for pregnancy, and health is unfortunately not the priority it should be.
Candi Usher
Candi Usher shared an update on My Forever Angelalmost 2 years ago
almost 2 years ago
Please review and up vote "My Forever Angel". https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTJT79SN
Candi Usher
Candi Usher shared an update on My Forever Angelalmost 2 years ago
almost 2 years ago
Hi everyone!! I'm new here, so I don't have any followers yet nor any reviews. I released this book on February 2, 2023 based on a true story on the death of a child, the challenges of being in a marriage during the drama and trauma, and the healing that comes when you think you never will. It's on candisthoughts.com, and those who've read it so far can either relate to the situation, or have experienced this themselves.

4 Comments

Candi UsherThe book is already released and ready to read in full
almost 2 years ago
Kameron Brook@candiusher Did Reedsy forward my message to you?
0 likes
almost 2 years ago
Candi UsherYes they did. It's already been released, but I can always go back and fix that.
0 likes
almost 2 years ago
Kameron Brook@candiusher Fantastic. Good luck!
almost 2 years ago
About the author

My name is Candi. I am an author, mother, veteran, graduated psychologist, and lover reading. I chose writing because it has been a form of art and healing for me. I love expressing myself, and not just verbally. Let me paint you a picture with my words. view profile

Published on February 03, 2023

8000 words

Contains mild explicit content ⚠️

Genre:Biographies & Memoirs

Reviewed by