My, we started off with a happy subject, didn’t we? Sorry about that, it gets funnier, honest.

Love, Debbie Downer.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had days off work here and there because of aches and pains. Largely due to the fact that I’m voluntarily carrying an extra person on my back.

Honestly, if I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle.

Once a while back, while walking to my car, headed to work, my right foot just sort of exploded into a painful spasm, for no apparent reason whatsoever. Luckily, there was no one around to see me double-over like Quasimodo.

It’s a dangerous path to reach for the painkillers every time that happens.

Over the years I’ve found the most inexpensive and helpful solution when dealing with pain is walking. Just walking. Gently, carefully, and regularly.

I find walking helps me the most, particularly with back pain. You see, what happens with back pain is that I am very likely to flinch away it, so then my muscles ‘spasm’ to protect the original source of pain. Eventually, this will continue to happen until the spasm itself hurts, on top of the original pain.

In September 2012, I prolapsed one of my discs while stepping down a step that was higher than I thought it was. I felt it go, and within hours I was navigating the staircase on my butt and using a computer chair to wheel myself around the house.

I called the Emergency Doctor out, managing to unlock my front door and open a window near the door, so he/she could hear me shout, ‘Come in!’  and I wouldn’t have to get up.

I was on the couch when she showed up. She knocked on the door. I shouted, ‘Come in -I can’t move!’

Again, she knocked on the door.

I shouted, ‘Come in. I can’t move!’

In the end, she un-knowingly forced me to crawl to the door and let her in.

‘Well,’ she said, walking behind me as I shuffled back to my couch, holding onto the furniture for stability, ‘What seems to be the problem?’

Of course, it’s not obvious at all, I thought to myself as I rolled onto the couch in agonizing slow-motion. After I had explained to her what the problem was, she had me lie on my back.

Time slowed when I saw her reach out, grab for my left ankle, and begin lifting it up off the couch toward the ceiling.

‘Does this hurt?’ she asked.

I almost screamed, inhaling a very sharp and loud ‘hiss’ before almost biting my lip in two. She was startled, and literally dropped my ankle.

Then I actually screamed.

‘Yes, I definitely think you’ve got a disc problem.’

No shit, Sherlock.

I didn’t say anything. Mostly because I was speechless from pain after she dropped my leg.

‘Do you have any painkillers in the house?’

I told her no and begged her to prescribe unconsciousness. So, she did. I was prescribed with paracetamol, codeine, anti-inflammatories, Tramadol, and Diazepam.

Before she left, she turned to my immobile body on the couch and said,

‘And be careful with lifting and carrying.’

She had gone before I could respond.

After a couple of days of being immobile and knocked out, I was numb enough to stand up and take some steps, without holding onto furniture or bursting into tears and blowing snot-bubbles.

After that, I would go outside and walk around my backyard. And so on. Recovery felt most efficient when I was walking upright -naturally and slowly. This gently untangled the muscles that had been protecting my disc from further aggravation.

Once walking was bearable, I made a few appointments with the Chiropractor.

I was back to work after a month.

I’ve learned that gentle exercise and six-monthly visits to a chiropractor for a tune-up, has kept me pain free and, more importantly, pain-killer free ever since.

While I am overweight, I have to continue to look after my joints and muscles. That episode is not one I’d care to repeat.