"Memoirs of a Suburban Troublemaker" is a tribute to all who embrace a rebellious spirit, capturing Ellen's childhood and adolescence against the backdrop of an openly integrated community (Reston, VA) established during the civil rights movement. The memoir dives into Ellen's life, from the bliss of her early years to the turmoil following her parents' divorce. Known for her acts of rebellionâshoplifting, drinking, and fightingâEllen's defiance masks a profound search for belonging and understanding.
Ellen's unexpected friendship with Bahija, another outsider facing her own battles, becomes a beacon of solidarity, empowering Ellen to confront bullying and navigate her tumultuous teenage years.
Ellen chronicles her journey from the University of Tennessee's Rocky Top to the NYC "Concrete Jungle" - a tale of dorm room disasters and soap opera office antics. Ellen's life was like a sitcom waiting to happen. Each escapade, whether uproariously funny or deeply painful, underscores the power of genuine connections and standing up for what is right. Ellen RB Smith shares, "This memoir is for the troublemakers, the rebels, and anyone who has ever felt like an outsider." Her story is a reminder that everyone has an inner fighter waiting to be unleashed.
"Memoirs of a Suburban Troublemaker" is a tribute to all who embrace a rebellious spirit, capturing Ellen's childhood and adolescence against the backdrop of an openly integrated community (Reston, VA) established during the civil rights movement. The memoir dives into Ellen's life, from the bliss of her early years to the turmoil following her parents' divorce. Known for her acts of rebellionâshoplifting, drinking, and fightingâEllen's defiance masks a profound search for belonging and understanding.
Ellen's unexpected friendship with Bahija, another outsider facing her own battles, becomes a beacon of solidarity, empowering Ellen to confront bullying and navigate her tumultuous teenage years.
Ellen chronicles her journey from the University of Tennessee's Rocky Top to the NYC "Concrete Jungle" - a tale of dorm room disasters and soap opera office antics. Ellen's life was like a sitcom waiting to happen. Each escapade, whether uproariously funny or deeply painful, underscores the power of genuine connections and standing up for what is right. Ellen RB Smith shares, "This memoir is for the troublemakers, the rebels, and anyone who has ever felt like an outsider." Her story is a reminder that everyone has an inner fighter waiting to be unleashed.
On July 27, 1975, I was eight days from my 25th birthday and two days late from my due date to deliver my first born. Ellen was a perfect baby and a complete joy to raise, at least until the age of 13.
I was fortunate to be a stay-at-home mom for the first eight years of her life. She was the first beloved granddaughter of the Bernard Clan, but generated little interest from the Curl Clan, not a surprise considering that none of them liked themselves, let alone a new addition.
At the time, Ellen was the greatest gift and achievement of my life, and Iâm still enormously proud of her and her accomplishments. That said, I would not wish her teenage years on another mother, including her. Nothing prepared me for her antics and behavior from the age of 13, and sometimes even now.
Her perception of her troubled life is very different from mine. When her dad and I separated, she was sad but enjoyed the discovery of a new neighborhood and the many friends she made while enjoying the lasting friendships from the old neighborhood. She contends that her depression, anger, and acting out began with the divorce, when in fact it began with the remarriage of her father. Regardless of our different opinions, I believe that Ellen has written a compelling memoir with very real insights into the dangers of high school bullying and the consequences of bad decision-making.
Ellen remains the life of every party, a personality that people from all walks of life will gravitate to while being a loving mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. Sheâs always had strong opinions and convictions in her beliefs. She still possesses the voice of a songbird and may yet become famous, if not for singing then certainly for her humorous writing style and ability to entertain the masses.
Kitty Bernard, Ellenâs Mom
PREFACE
Memories are immortal. Theyâre deathless and precise. They have the power of giving you joy and perspective in hard times. Or, they can strangle you. Define you in a way thatâs based more in other peopleâs tucked-up perceptions than truth. âViola Davis, Finding Me
This book is a love letter to my family, friends, and hometown. As a nonpracticing, agnostic, Jew-âishâ person on a lifelong quest to end racism and anti-Semitism, I was fortunate to grow up in Reston, Virginia, a town that was literally created as a place of inclusion for all. When my kindergarten teacher played the album Free to Be You and Me by Marlo Thomas and Friends, it fell directly in line with my view of Reston: where the âshining seasâ were the man-made lakes, the âriver running freeâ was the creek behind our house, and the âgreen countryâ was the 1,350 acres of open space that Restonâs founder and namesake, Robert E. âBobâ Simon, had set aside for its residents.
As Virginiaâs first open, integrated, and planned community, Reston was a safe harbor, and I truly believed in the peaceful, egalitarian lessons taught at my elementary school. But inevitably, lifeâs harsh realities could not be shielded from me, and when they hit, they hit hard. My childhood went from idyllic to completely chaotic, seemingly overnight.
A picture documents my first sustainable memory: Iâm three years old and holding up blue homemade Play-Doh-covered hands, sitting in a yellow highchair that matched the â70s iconic harvest gold appliances, dishware, and wallpaper of our kitchen in New Jersey. I can distinctly recall my point of view, opposite the camera, with my mom directing me to âSay cheese!â and then setting the camera down on the counter to stir her cauldron of blue sorcery.
If I didnât have physical evidence of this momentâs existence, I would have never remembered it. When we recollect a particular incident from the past, our neural net mutates and the adjustment impacts the next recollection of the moment. Meaning, the next time you remember the event, you might not recall the original memory but instead what you remembered the previous time. Even the word itself, âre-membering,â indicates a need to reassemble or reconstruct; to put things back together after being separated. This book is a collection of my memories. Some have been cemented by retelling the stories or pictures, and some have been contaminated, but theyâre all building blocks for the person I am today.
I was a curious, precocious, funny, and determined kid. The most difficult thing in my childhood was bedtime, because I had a serious and rare form of insomnia called . . . never sleep. My parents tried every trick in the book, but I would fight sleep tooth and nail. As a teenager, I spent my days and nights fighting everyone.
My parentsâ divorce was a traumatic turning point in my younglife. I went from being a child who respected authority and followed the rules to someone who was in constant trouble for misbehaving, getting poor grades, drinking, using drugs, and for physical altercations.My parents were unusually forgiving and compassionate.Despite their exceptional capacity for forgiveness, offering me all the grace they could muster, I remained the epitome of trouble.
How do you separate the wise choices from the foolish ones? One way is to read the stories of others like Ellen Smith's Memoirs of a Suburban Troublemaker.
Ellenâs life and growth began in a household filled with a typical family, if there is such a thing. Unfortunately, her blissful childhood ended abruptly when her parentâs divorced. Like so many children, she wondered if she could have saved them.Â
At school she was constantly in the principalâs office and she recounts her shoplifting, drinking, and fighting moments during her tween and teen years with a mixture of humor, defiance, and a tad of regret. As a student she couldnât see how badly she craved the family that had split apart. This story is about finding both good and bad ways to belong and moving past that craving for normalcy.Â
In college and away from her family of origin, an unexpected friendship with Bahija helps her see that sheâs not alone. They are a couple of outsiders battling conflicts,and forming a lifelong bond that empowers both of them. Ellen discovers the strength to stand up against bullying. Once she knows how to cope with her learning disabilities, sheâs on the Deanâs List for the last four years of college. She follows a friend to NYC, learns about women in the workplace back in the day. Sheâs over 30 when she meets the man sheâll marry and settles into life as a working mother. The narrator goes on to break glass ceilings at Amazon.Â
Thereâs a lot to like about Memoirs of a Suburban Troublemaker including the lovely illustrations at the top of each chapter. She learns from her adventures and her sense of humor and irony grow â especially after she becomes a mother. At the ends of her growth chapters, she summarizes what sheâs learned, and the ending is reflective and heartfelt. As a reader I know she poured her most sincere thoughts and discoveries into this life story, which seems like it is more biography than either memoir or coming-of-age. Itâs a good story for those struggling to find their place in the world, whether they are teens or adults. It predicts potential consequences, depending on the path a reader follows, and readers  will be drawn in.Â